Fw: . Adult Puns 08-03-11

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

. ADULT PUNS 08-03-11 A throaty-French porn queen of note, Announced to the press, and we quote, "Going down is my bag, So excuse me the gag, But I'll soon have a Frog in my throat." Without nipples, breasts would be pointless. A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting dressed. She points to his dick and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Not wanting to explain to her yet, he says, "Uh, I can't tell you; it's a secret." The little girl finds her mother and asks, "What is that long thing between Daddy's legs?" Her mom also doesn't want to explain sex yet, so she says, "I don't know -- he won't tell me." A couple days later the little girl says to her mother, "Mommy, I finally figured out what that thing between Daddy's legs is. It's a *toothbrush! *" "Why do you think that?" the amused mother asks. "Because," the little girl says, "this morning I saw the maid sliding it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her chin." You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools. I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small. I'm going to get a boob job." "Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?" She answered, "Do you want a hand job?" She's a keeper! I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name. A guy comes up to a girl and tries to charm her by saying, "Hi, I was going to tell you a joke about my penis, but its too long" She said "Oh what a coincidence, I was going to tell you a joke about my vagina, but you'll never get it!" Did you hear about the bow-legged cowgirl that couldn't keep her calves together? A woman walks into her gynecologist and the doctor says, "Miss why do you have "F" on your stomach?" The woman replies, "I went to bed last night with Fred and he refused to take off his belt." A couple of weeks later, she goes to her gynecologist again and the doctor says, "Miss, why do you have "C" imprinted on your stomach?" The woman replies, "I went to bed with Chris last night and he refused to take his belt off." A couple of months pass, the woman goes to her gynecologist again, and this time the woman has "F and C" imprinted on her stomach. The doctor says, "Miss, now I know you didn't go to bed with Fred and Chris last night." The woman replies, "No, I went to bed last night with the Fire Chief and he refused to take off his helmet." The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" Apparently "Only to stop myself coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer. Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? My missus kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister's throat!" Did you hear about the guy that took a roll of toilet paper to a crap game. __._,_.     No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.901 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3807 - Release Date: 08/03/11 18:34:00