TREV- Jest For Kids 08-09 10

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Aug 9, 2010, 1:18:24 PM8/9/10
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    JEST FOR KIDS 08-09-10
   Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
 
    RIDDLES
 
What do you have if you keep your canary in your automobile?
  A flying car pet!
 
What was the clock doing in the prison cafeteria?
  Serving time.
 
What did the dirt say to the rain?
  "If this keeps up, my name will be mud."
 
How do you recognize a law-abiding frog?
  It always does what it is toad.
 
What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs?
  Be careful not to step on a poodle!
 
What did the bald man say when he got a comb?
  "I'll never part with it."
 
What kind of running means walking?
  Running out of gas.
 
    SCHOOL WORK
 
Define "Barium": What doctors do when treatment fails
 
Use "Cotton" in a sentence: These new fashions haven't COTTON with teenagers. (Cynthia MacGregor)
 
Book Titles: "Cloning" by Ima Dubble
 
Sign on a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
 
That's for Fido to sit on, not you, you lazy cat!" Tom said dogmatically.
 
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"
 
    PUNS & OTHER HUMOR
 
  The rhino is a homely beast,
  For eyes he’s not a feast.
  Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
  I’ll stare something less prepoceros
   (Ogden Nash)
 
Overheard at another wedding: "They're so perfect together. She sells balloons and he's full of hot air."
 
A man entered a bank with a rather large dog on a leash. He asked if it was okay to bring his pet into the building. The teller answered, "Yes, providing he doesn't make a deposit."
 
To be a dentist you have to go through many drills.
 
If you're wondering why your back is stiff as a board, remember this is your lumbar region.
 
A father took his little girl to see Star Wars. He noticed she alternated between excitement and puzzlement. After the movie he asked her what she thought of it. She replied "Well Dad, I liked it a lot, except I couldn't understand a word that big hairy guy said." He laughed and said, "Oh, I know why! That was a Wookie, and ... that's just the way the Wookie mumbles!"
 
The cross between a parrot and a centipede will get you a Walkie-talkie.
 
Before he went home the furniture maker wanted to finish his work,
 
 
 
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