TREV- Jest For Kids 11-01-10

[theol...@snap.net.nz]

JEST FOR KIDS 11-01-10    Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old       RIDDLES   Why were 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 scared?    Because 7 8 9.   Why was the cookie so unhappy.     Because his mother was a wafer so long.   What did the mare say to her young horse when his famous painting was stolen?    "A foal and his Monet are soon parted." (Alan B. Combs)   Why did the waiter fall over?    He was tipped.   Why did the ocean refuse her boyfriend's marriage proposal?     She didn't want to be tide down. (Cynthia MacGregor)   Who was Tonto looking for in the bank?     The Loan Arranger       SCHOOL WORK   Define "Pharmacist": A helper on the farm.   Use "Lettuce"  in a sentence: This New Year's eve LETTUCE celebrate together.   Headline: Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence   Book Title: "Why I Was Sent To Prison" by Robin Banks       PUNS & SHORT JOKES   The blind man picked up a hammer and saw!   If it weren't for Venetian blinds it would be curtains for everybody.   If you drop a piano down a mine shaft, you'll get A flat minor.   "Uh-oh, I'm out of fuel," said Tom aghast.   Whether it's a pancake or a baseball team, the secret is to start with a good batter.       GROANERS & LONG JOKES   . Knock! Knock! .    Who's there? . Phillip .    Phillip who? . Phillip the trick or treat bag and nobody gets hurt!!!   Dr. Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly, through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Dr. Frankenstein said, "Monster, monster, what are you doing here?" The monster said, "Well, boss, they hanged me this morning, so now I've come to meet my maker!"   "That's a big slash cut on your head. How did that happen?" "My sister hit me with some tomatoes.""That's incredible, I can't  imagine how any tomatoes would Make a cut like that." "They were still in a can."   While waiting in line at the Delta Gate to get my seat assignment, I overheard an elderly lady in front of me trying to get a seat assignment. When the clerk asked if she wanted a window or aisle seat the old lady exclaimed "OH! Please don't put me by the window! I just had my hair done!"       ____________________________________________________________     No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.864 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3230 - Release Date: 11/01/10 08:33:00