The Opposites Attract

[Ara Scholze]

Montoya RM, Horton RS. A meta-analytic investigation of the processes underlying the similarity-attraction effect. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2013;30(1):64-94. doi:10.1177/0265407512452989

The Opposites Attract

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Opposites attract, and that's especially true in the world of fonts. This sentiment set consists of four different sentiments done in a pretty, bold font. The companion sentiments are done in a soft, flowing script, creating a lovely paradox.

Opposing forces shape our reality in ways that are both readily apparent as well as hidden. Artwork included in this exhibit explores contradictions and affinities: Yin and Yang, the irresistible force versus the immovable object, black and white, and other types of opposites.

The authors note that couples share traits for a variety of reasons: Some grow up in the same area. Some are attracted to people who are similar to them. Some grow more similar the longer they are together.

We consider the Casimir interaction between (nonmagnetic) dielectric bodies or conductors. Our main result is a proof that the Casimir force between two bodies related by reflection is always attractive, independent of the exact form of the bodies or dielectric properties. Apart from being a fundamental property of fields, the theorem and its corollaries also rule out a class of suggestions to obtain repulsive forces, such as the two hemisphere repulsion suggestion and its relatives.

If you were brought up on a diet of Disney fairy tales, you might be forgiven for thinking that opposites attract. Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, and The Little Mermaid all perpetuate the idea that the ideal partner is someone who has the opposite qualities to ourselves.

Byrne manipulated the degree of similarity between the participant and the phantom stranger. His results showed that participants reported feeling more attracted to people who held similar attitudes. In fact, the greater the degree of attitudinal similarity, the greater the attraction and liking.

In the mid-1950s, the sociologist Robert Francis Winch argued that, when it comes to our personalities, what matters is not similarity but complementarity. Based on his studies of spouses, he suggested that individuals would be attracted to others who possess personality traits that they lack. An assertive woman, for example, would be attracted to a submissive man while an extroverted man would be attracted to an introverted woman.

One of the most effective ways to play with opposites in your décor is to pair dark and light colors. Some of my favorite dynamic duos? Black and white. Navy and cream. I love to pull these and other high-contrast colors together when I design a space because together they have such a wow factor that they suck you into the room.

About the biggest challenge in creating a day-and-night dynamic is to keep the attract and repel cases relatively balanced. When the pendulum swings too far toward the repel side and the characters seem more interested in torturing each other than helping out, it's no longer cute to watch; it's just masochistic. The key (both in fiction and in Real Life) is to watch the pair's goals. If they want the same thing but use completely different methods to achieve it, it's this trope. If they want different things entirely, it's a divorce waiting to happen.

IMPORTANT: Please, no ships, just Canon portrayal of attraction. If you see an example that hasn't been portrayed in canon as this type of attraction (or hasn't been portrayed in canon at all), please delete it. This also means examples will tend to be spoilery, so read on at your own risk.

Comic Books

• The Authority: The gruff, brooding, cynical Midnighter is Happily Married to kind, cheerful, optimistic Apollo. Even their costumes emphasize this trope: Apollo's is white with a gold sun emblem, while Midnighter's is black with a silver crescent moon.
• Batman'': Batman and Catwoman: One is a stolid, no-nonsense upholder of the law, the other is a mischievous (but never malicious) lawbreaker. They fight crime (sometimes, when she's not causing it herself).
• ElfQuest: Discussed by Tyldak and Kahvi in regards to her past relationship with Rayek. He thinks their differences in background (she's "ice", he's "fire") were the problem. Kahvi disagrees though, saying that differences make good sparks. It was his arrogance which she hated.
• Legion of Super-Heroes: Supergirl and Brainiac-5. She's a warm, nice and friendly Flying Brick. He's a super-intelligent, rude jerkass with non-existent social skills. Plus she's a believer and he's an atheist.
• Persepolis: Subverted. When Marjane returns to Iran in her late teens, she starts a relationship with Reza, who's her polar opposite in terms of personality, Marjane being outspoken and extroverted and Reza collected and introverted. Marjane initially thinks that this is why they complement each other so well, but after they get married their personalities increasingly clash until they decide to avoid each other.
• Robin: Callie Evans an active and very vocally open about her life basketball player tomboy who is more than willing to get into fights dated nerdy Sebastian Ives who freezes up at confrontation and will go far out of his way to avoid it and keep secrets. They remained friends afterwards but were unable to make a lasting romantic relationship work.
• Runaways:
• It paired quirky nerd Gert with dumb jock Chase, All-Loving Hero Karolina with Blood Knight Xavin, and fearless Molly with shy Klara.
• In Runaways (2015), troublemaker Jubilee grudgingly admits that she's attracted to rule-abiding Sanna. It later turns out that the attraction is mutual, and they end up as a couple.
• Spider-Man:
• Would you ever believe the shy nerdy wallflower Peter Parker to end up married to the outgoing party girl Mary Jane Watson? Well it happened. Actually when MJ first saw Mr. Parker, she was going though her troubled home life and empathized with the lonely looking Peter. So they're similar after all.
• Morbius and his fiancée Martine are this, both in appearance and personality. Morbius himself even wonders out loud how "an out and about society girl" could fall in love with "a morose scientist who can't stand the sun", saying even he doesn't have a hypothesis for that one.
• Superman: Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter and Lois Lane, determined and outgoing reporter.
• Teen Titans:
• When their relationship began, Starfire and Robin (later Nightwing) were this: Robin was reserved and methodical to Starfire's passionate impulsiveness. As the trope often works in real life, they began to influence each other so that each acquired a level of the other's personality, to the point that their breakup ultimately had Nightwing making an impassioned plea for Starfire to stay and Starfire making the reasoned, logical choice to leave.
• Raven and Beast Boy. One is an emotionally unstable daughter of a demon who has a tendency to sometimes turn evil and attack her friends quite frequently, one is a fun-loving, optimistic Manchild who can turn into just about any animal on the planet. Due to Raven's emotional issues and her desire not to harm people she cares about, the two are frequently on/off but always come back to one another due to Beast Boy refusing to take a hint. Prior to the New 52 reboot, Raven had recently made the decision not to ignore or suppress her feelings any longer and to embrace the future with Beast Boy. How they fared may never be known...
• X-Men:
• Cyclops and Phoenix. He's an emotionally withdrawn introvert control freak and she's fire and life incarnate an outgoing redhead who reads minds. He draws the attentions of at least two other hot and extrovert telepaths, which suggests there's something interesting going on behind that facade...
• Cyclops' second major love interest, Emma Frost, also qualifies. One's a stoic born leader who grew up in an orphanage, the other's a wealthy, snarky seductress trying to atone for her past villainous deeds.
• Gambit and Rogue: he's a dashing kinda powerful ex-theif who blows things up by touching them, she's an introvert extremely powerful ex-villain who absorbs people's powers by touching them. They're currently the only X-Men to be Happily Married. Though when you think about it, Rogue and Gambit are kinda similar. Both have brown hair, both worked for Super Villains (Mystique and Mr Sinister respectively) before defecting to the X-Men and both their powers relate to touching things. Their personalities are distinct enough for this trope to work, but the couple are more alike than they know.

Video Games

• APICO: Dr. Codey, who studies solitary bees because she prefers things with more "buzz", mentions that her girlfriend Dr. Sto is afraid of bees, which is why she became a lepidopterist instead. Doesn't stop them from going on romantic "research trips", however.
• BioWare has a tendency to create somewhat psychotic mad people (usually women) who can be most successfully romanced by a nicer player character.
• Jack in Mass Effect 2 is impulsive, impatient, anger-driven, and generally insane; the Paragon romance arc involves calmly and patiently listening to her issues and generally being nice.
• Morrigan in Dragon Age: Origins is a survivalist in the extreme who believes love is a weakness; she does, however, approve of some of the Warden's behavior that is rather contrary to her stated doctrine.
• Garrus in Mass Effect 2 has trouble with the rules, but is just as likely to fall for Female!Shepard if she calls him out on it and points out that the rules are there for good reasons as if she goes along with his ends justify the means ideas.
• Bastila in Knights of the Old Republic is attracted to the male player character no matter what, so if you are a silly rule-bending sort or an Ax-Crazy maniac your very straight-laced and overly serious companion will still fall for you.
• Viconia DeVir in Baldur's Gate 2 is a neutral evil drow priestess who believes that the strong are meant to dominate the weak, but that doesn't stop her from being romancable by good-aligned male player characters.
• Fenris in Dragon Age II has a real bone to pick with mages and is brooding as all hell. It still doesn't stop him from falling for a snarky mage Hawke. The irony of this is not lost on him and is noted at a few points.
• In Dragon Age: Inquisition, the Iron Bull is a hulking, snarky Qunari warrior who really Does Not Like Magic. Doesn't stop him from entering a romance with an elf or human mage, or with a dwarf (who only comes up to his knees). His people have been at war for ages with Tevinter, the homeland of mustachioed mage Dorian, who can be romanced by a male Inquisitor of any race, including Qunari. If the Inquisitor doesn't romance either of them, they can end up together.
• A somewhat downplayed example in Borderlands 3 has Wainwright Jakobs (the heir to the Jakobs corporation and a homebody) and Sir Hammerlock (a Great White Hunter and an adventure-seeker). This is a major source of drama and in the Guns, Love and Tentacles DLC they both express doubts over not being brave/caring enough for the other. Thankfully they get engaged in the main game credits and the afrorementioned DLC is about their wedding.
• Deltarune: It quickly becomes obvious that the shy, awkward, bookish Noelle has a crush on the tough Jerk with a Heart of Gold delinquent Susie (obvious to everyone but Susie, at least). This is especially true in Chapter 2, where Noelle gets pulled into Kris and Susie's adventures in the Dark World and the pair get some serious Ship Tease.
• Fire Emblem:
• Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade:
• We have Fiora (serious, motherly Pegasus Knight) and Sain (Chivalrous Pervert who mouths off to authority). And if you max out their supports, they get married.
• Also Fiora's Tsundere and Hot-Blooded middle sister Farina and Sain's Knight in Shining Armor partner Kent. Yup, they can get hitched at A support level too. They even hang a huge lampshade on this:Farina: This is probably someone else's doing... Like Marcus, or Oswin... You know, Merlinus might try something like this, too...
  Kent: I don't think it is a conspiracy... I mean, what would anyone have to gain from making us fight together?
• Fire Emblem: Awakening gives us Henry, a Blood Knight and Perpetual Smiler with some VERY loose screws, and two of his potential love interests: Sumia and Olivia. The first one is a klutzy submissive badass, the second is a cute Shrinking Violet. Also Team Dad Frederick and Tomboy Princess Lissa, if paired up.
• GTA Radio has a married couple host a political talk show. One's a Democrat, the other's a Republican, both are strawmen.
• Achilles's codex in Hades notes that stoic, prickly, duitiful Thanatos is pretty obviously in love with his defiant, reckless foster brother, Zagreus despite their diametrically opposed dispositions. His theory is that they're inherently drawn to each other as Anthropomorphic Personifications of the Life/Death Juxtaposition.Whence came the bond they share? My thought is that the Master's son must be the god of blood; of life. Thus, they are inexorably drawn.
• The Forerunners Didact and Librarian from Halo. The Librarian is a Friend to All Living Things whose favorite species was humanity. The Didact is a Four-Star Badass in a society of pacifists, who was responsible for destroying humanity's empire and sending us back to earth as cavemen. Everyone lampshades how odd this match is; however, they both love each other fiercely.Bornstellar: Your relationship with the Lifeshaper does not seem ideal.
  Didact: You don't know the half of it.
• Night in the Woods has Gregg (an energetic and somewhat reckless fox who enjoys committing petty crimes) in a serious romantic relationship with Angus (a nerdy, polite and quiet bear who acts much more responsibly).
• Psychonauts has the cold and logical Sasha with the upbeat and fun-loving Milla.
• Super Robot Wars Alpha allows the player to customize their character, having a choice of four personality options; your Love Interest will automatically be assigned the opposite personality, meaning a Shrinking Violet will always be paired with a Hot-Blooded character and The Stoic will always be paired with a Cloud Cuckoolander.
• In The Sims 3, the Pok household (from the Supernatural expansion pack) consists in husband and wife David and Janet, who are respectively a burglar and a policewoman.
• The ending of Troublemaker. While the PC, Budi, gets the girl of his dreams Sophia, his Dumb Muscle friend Zaenal somehow gets the genius Hackette girl Rani.
• A non-romantic version is described in Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume between court magicians Lieselotte and Rosea. Both were orphans adopted by court mage Lord Cennair and could not be any more different, but that was why they got along. Lieselotte greatly admired Rosea's grace and dignity, whereas Rosea loved Lieselotte's energy and lust for life. When Cennair is killed, each woman believes the other is the guilty culprit, and both were punished for it. The fact that they liked each other so much made the betrayal even more hurtful. And it will end up killing one of them. Or even both.

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