Fwd: Fame is a Challenge to Strong Families
Charles Figley, PhD
IPhone- www.charlesfigley.com Charle...@gmail.com
Begin forwarded message:
From: "Cornblatt, Johannah S" <Johannah....@newsweek.com>
Date: June 14, 2010 3:28:42 PM EDT
To: "Charles Figley, Ph.D." <charle...@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: Fame is a Challenge to Strong Families
Charles,
Thank you so much for your e-mail. Would you mind polling your colleagues? We would love to get a list of strong parents if possible.
Best,
Johannah
Johannah Cornblatt
NEWSWEEK | 395 Hudson Street | New York NY 10014 | T 212 445 4138
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Please consider the environment. Think before you print.
From: Charles Figley, Ph.D. [mailto:charle...@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, June 14, 2010 3:15 PM
To: Cornblatt, Johannah S
Subject: Fame is a Challenge to Strong Families
Dear Johannah:
Good talking with you. Glad that APA referred you to me’s Media Relations Office. They do a great job of matching reporter with psychologist. As I said, they often refer reporters to me about fame and stress because I have studied both for more than 25 years.
We were talking about parents’ decisions about their suddenly famous children, such as the Sunderland family wanting so much to please and promote their daughter that she almost died fulfilling those dreams. Yet, those dreams were not necessarily her own; and even if they were, where are the parents?
From my career of examining families for trial as an expert witness, to studying and teaching about families in my academic life as a professor at Tulane, I know seven things about strong families that are relevant to parenting a child protégé:
(1) Strong parents establish boundaries that provide a sense of security; a nest;
(2) Strong parents often make wise decisions for their children but in most cases it was on the job training (the exception are those families I discussed such as Jamie Lee Curtis Family (her mother);
(3) They protect their children from decisions and demands that are beyond either the capabilities or interest;
(4) Strong parents establish reachable and observable norms that are consistent with their values and are most often children of classmates rather than children “in the business;”
(5) They are the first and often the only agent or representative for the famous child because they limit media access (e.g., “to protect the child’s privacy” but it is difficult to use is the same child is using her or his fame through commercials);
(6) Strong parents often speak up and control venues that are not protecting children;
(7) They can take in and understand the extraordinary stressors of fame and at the same time be able differentiate their dreams from those of their children;
I can pose the markers but I am at a loss as to who would fit this bill of a strong family or parent of a child protégé. However, if you poll your colleagues at Newsweek I will bet that they can come up with kids who seem to have their head screwed on well either in spite of or because of a parent’s guidance.
Drew Barrymore is a great example of someone who did not have strong parents to guide her career. She did not get good parenting but the business people filled in the parents. Here is a great story of trait resilience prevailing despite the adversity. Here acceptance speech at the Academy Awards and her interview on Fresh Air (2007?) with Terry Gross describes it beautifully and I am sure she will do an interview with you all.
I will keep thinking.
If you want me to poll my colleagues I am willing to do so
Charles
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Prof. Charles R. Figley, Ph.D., the Paul Henry Kurzweg, MD Distinguished Chair in Disaster Mental Health at Tulane University and Graduate School of Social Work Professor. Editor of Traumatology: http://tmt.sagepub.com/ Phone: 504-862-3473 Email: Fig...@Tulane.edu Web:charlesfigley.com