[News] [New Zealand] 'We are another sex' - school welcomes transgender students
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Stephanie Stevens
Nov 12, 2017, 8:48:59 AM11/12/17
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Stuff, New Zealand
'We are another sex' - school welcomes transgender students
SHANI WILLIAMS
Last updated 05:00, November 12 2017
[Photo: Ryan Baker and Alex Curtis attend Trans Tea Time - a support group for transgender students.]
When Ryan Baker first walked through the gates at Epsom Girls Grammar School, he had no idea he would discover a warm, welcoming transgender support group.
At 7 years old, the Auckland boy felt like a drag queen each time his parents made him wear a dress.
In primary school, Ryan, still Rhiannon, was called a "tomboy" - wearing superhero shirts, playing contact sports, and with waist-length sandy brown hair always tied up.
[Photo: Epsom Girls Grammar School students Ryan Baker and Alex Curtis are two of seven transgender boys currently attending the school.]
Rhiannon didn't know why, but would get distressed when primary school teachers would say things like "boys verse girls" or "let the girls have a turn".
It was in intermediate school, when Rhiannon hit puberty, that she realised she was "different" to other girls.
[Photo: Lorraine Pound, principal of Epsom Girls Grammar School, says working with young people and their families about gender identity was natural.]
It didn't matter what people thought they saw when they looked at her, Rhiannon knew she "was nothing along the lines of a girl" and began to stop identifying with her birth gender.
Rhiannon's intermediate school was a "fairly conservative" school in Ellerslie with a roll call of fewer than 300 students, all of who knew Rhiannon as a girl.
Near the end of 2016, with the shift from intermediate to high school on the horizon, Rhiannon saw an opportunity for further transition.
[Photo: Epsom Girls Grammar School students Ryan Baker and Alex Curtis say students and teachers are supportive of their transition.]
Rhiannon enrolled at Epsom Girls Grammar School (EGGS) – a decile nine school for girls ranging from years 9 to 13 in Epsom, Auckland.
She cut off her hair and said goodbye to Rhiannon, and on January 31, wearing a gender-neutral uniform, Ryan walked through the front gate of EGGS for the first time.
DIVERSITY
Within a few days Ryan, now 14, found a support group for transgender teenagers called Trans Tea Time, where he met six other transgender boys - some of whom had been identifying as male for more than three years and some just like Ryan.
The group, aged 13 to 18, includes boys from all different cultural backgrounds - New Zealand European, Indian, Māori and Samoan.
Ryan was relieved at the level of support the school offered students undergoing a gender change.
EGGS head of counselling Jeannie Grant, who has worked in Auckland schools for 20 years and is completing her PhD on diversity in New Zealand, lends support to the students.
There is a common misconception that more and more teenagers are coming out as transgender because it is "trendy" or because they are "copying their friends" but this is not the case, Grant says.
There have always been transgender teenagers, but the ability to use the internet to form connections with other transgender teenagers makes you feel less alone and more supported. So coming out as transgender is that much easier, she says.
These kids also turn to the internet for answers as they try to make more sense of what they might be going through, she says.
And then there is Caitlyn Jenner - the ex-step-father of the Kardashians - who used to be a man but is now a woman.
Ryan says although he does not like her, someone with such a high profile coming out helps raise awareness about being transgender and starts conversations that were previously taboo.
The fact that EGGS has seven transgender students is not surprising, Grant says.
"There are transgender students at most schools in New Zealand, but they are not going to come out unless the school offers support," she says.
In addition to Trans Tea Time, EGGS offers a support group for LGBT students called Prison Break and a support group specifically for Asian LGBT students called EGGquasian.
EGGS also has gender-neutral uniforms and bathrooms, and both teachers and students are expected to use preferred pronouns.
ACCEPTANCE
Ryan says he has never been bullied and both teachers and students have made him feel comfortable with his new identity.
"To be honest, sometimes I wish I could be at school all the time because school accepts me as a transgender male while some of my family members do not," Ryan says.
Some of Ryan's family members say he is going through a "phase" or experiencing trauma from his parents' divorce.
"Sometimes my mother still calls me she," Ryan says softly.
His mother thinks it could be harmful if Ryan "changed his mind", he says.
"It is not that we think we are another sex or that we want to be another sex - we are another sex. And believe me, no one would transition for fun, it is definitely not fun, and it is not easy," Ryan says.
Three transgender boys and Grant are all talking in Grant's office while sipping tea and eating chocolate chip cookies.
One of the students in year 11, David Williams, whose name has been changed for this story, is calm but concerned for the younger boys - he has gone through similar struggles and seams to occupy a guardian type role.
Williams is in a particularly complex situation where he lives a double life as a boy at school and a girl at home.
Williams' parents have not yet accepted him as a transgender male - they are struggling with grief and anxiety about what lies ahead for their child as a transgender adult.
"Not being accepted by the ones you love the most is definitely heartbreaking at times," David says so Ryan can hear.
"But we have to understand our parents' doubts and anxieties," he says.
"Just imagine, when you were born, your parents held you in their arms, and they had dreams for you - they dreamt of what kind of person their baby would become and what kind of life their baby would lead," David says.
"And then someone takes those dreams away and forces you to create new dreams - it takes time to create new dreams," David says.
LUCKY ONES
What was it like to attend an all-girls school as a boy and would these boys prefer to attend an all-boys school?
The students start laughing.
"It is like a drama overload," year 9 student Alex Curtis says.
"Girls get so emotional and bitchy - sometimes it is just too much for my head to handle," Ryan says as he rolls his eyes.
"And all they do is talk about boys - how cute they are, blah blah blah," David says.
Alex says he wanted to go to an all-boys school before he started at EGGS, although he knew it was unlikely he would have been accepted.
His transgender friends at other schools are always targeted by bullies, and he says it would be hard to find another school with the strong support system that EGGS has.
"We are definitely some of the lucky ones," Alex says.
EGGS principal Lorraine Pound says it was natural to work with students and families on matters such as gender identity and not to ignore or stigmatise it.
The fairly seamless story of these three boys is not necessarily common; many transgender teenagers have a very hard time.
They are bullied at school, rejected by their families and are at a higher risk of depression and suicide.
The latest Youth '12 health and wellbeing survey says there is particular concern about the wellbeing of transgender secondary school students.
Out of 283,758 secondary students in New Zealand, 1.2 per cent identify as transgender and 2.5 per cent were not sure of their gender.
The survey found more than 40 per cent of transgender students have significant depressive symptoms and nearly half have self-harmed in the previous 12 months.
That works out to be 680 suicide attempts by transgender teenagers each year.
TRANSITIONING
Teacher union the Post Primary Teachers' Association has issued guidelines for schools to create a safe learning environment for pupils of all gender identities and sexualities.
This means schools should avoid reinforcing "gender stereotypes".
But there is no hard and fast rule book and introducing specific polices for transgender students is the decision of an individual school.
Rainbow Youth executive director Frances Arns says conversations need to be had about how schools can better support their queer and gender diverse students, and it is great to see this dialogue happening at EGGS.
Ryan and Alex say they have already decided to medically transition. But without parental permission, which they do not have, they have to wait until they are 16 years old.
David, who is 16, says he has tried but accessing hormone therapy is hard, and the last time he tried he was turned down.
Getting hormone therapy involves a psychologist or psychiatrist giving their tick of approval - this often requires convincing a psychologist that you "really are" transgender, and deserve medical treatment such as hormone therapy.
"I don't know what went wrong. Maybe I wasn't 'trans' enough, whatever that means. It is so frustrating because you get so far in your transition and then hit a wall," David says.
Ryan, Alex and David say there is definitely a growth in acceptance of transgender people.
"There is still a long road ahead, but if we are on it together, we are not alone," David says.
- Sunday Star Times
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/education/98516010/We-are-another-sex-school-welcomes-transgender-students
'We are another sex' - school welcomes transgender students
SHANI WILLIAMS
Last updated 05:00, November 12 2017
[Photo: Ryan Baker and Alex Curtis attend Trans Tea Time - a support group for transgender students.]
When Ryan Baker first walked through the gates at Epsom Girls Grammar School, he had no idea he would discover a warm, welcoming transgender support group.
At 7 years old, the Auckland boy felt like a drag queen each time his parents made him wear a dress.
In primary school, Ryan, still Rhiannon, was called a "tomboy" - wearing superhero shirts, playing contact sports, and with waist-length sandy brown hair always tied up.
[Photo: Epsom Girls Grammar School students Ryan Baker and Alex Curtis are two of seven transgender boys currently attending the school.]
Rhiannon didn't know why, but would get distressed when primary school teachers would say things like "boys verse girls" or "let the girls have a turn".
It was in intermediate school, when Rhiannon hit puberty, that she realised she was "different" to other girls.
[Photo: Lorraine Pound, principal of Epsom Girls Grammar School, says working with young people and their families about gender identity was natural.]
It didn't matter what people thought they saw when they looked at her, Rhiannon knew she "was nothing along the lines of a girl" and began to stop identifying with her birth gender.
Rhiannon's intermediate school was a "fairly conservative" school in Ellerslie with a roll call of fewer than 300 students, all of who knew Rhiannon as a girl.
Near the end of 2016, with the shift from intermediate to high school on the horizon, Rhiannon saw an opportunity for further transition.
[Photo: Epsom Girls Grammar School students Ryan Baker and Alex Curtis say students and teachers are supportive of their transition.]
Rhiannon enrolled at Epsom Girls Grammar School (EGGS) – a decile nine school for girls ranging from years 9 to 13 in Epsom, Auckland.
She cut off her hair and said goodbye to Rhiannon, and on January 31, wearing a gender-neutral uniform, Ryan walked through the front gate of EGGS for the first time.
DIVERSITY
Within a few days Ryan, now 14, found a support group for transgender teenagers called Trans Tea Time, where he met six other transgender boys - some of whom had been identifying as male for more than three years and some just like Ryan.
The group, aged 13 to 18, includes boys from all different cultural backgrounds - New Zealand European, Indian, Māori and Samoan.
Ryan was relieved at the level of support the school offered students undergoing a gender change.
EGGS head of counselling Jeannie Grant, who has worked in Auckland schools for 20 years and is completing her PhD on diversity in New Zealand, lends support to the students.
There is a common misconception that more and more teenagers are coming out as transgender because it is "trendy" or because they are "copying their friends" but this is not the case, Grant says.
There have always been transgender teenagers, but the ability to use the internet to form connections with other transgender teenagers makes you feel less alone and more supported. So coming out as transgender is that much easier, she says.
These kids also turn to the internet for answers as they try to make more sense of what they might be going through, she says.
And then there is Caitlyn Jenner - the ex-step-father of the Kardashians - who used to be a man but is now a woman.
Ryan says although he does not like her, someone with such a high profile coming out helps raise awareness about being transgender and starts conversations that were previously taboo.
The fact that EGGS has seven transgender students is not surprising, Grant says.
"There are transgender students at most schools in New Zealand, but they are not going to come out unless the school offers support," she says.
In addition to Trans Tea Time, EGGS offers a support group for LGBT students called Prison Break and a support group specifically for Asian LGBT students called EGGquasian.
EGGS also has gender-neutral uniforms and bathrooms, and both teachers and students are expected to use preferred pronouns.
ACCEPTANCE
Ryan says he has never been bullied and both teachers and students have made him feel comfortable with his new identity.
"To be honest, sometimes I wish I could be at school all the time because school accepts me as a transgender male while some of my family members do not," Ryan says.
Some of Ryan's family members say he is going through a "phase" or experiencing trauma from his parents' divorce.
"Sometimes my mother still calls me she," Ryan says softly.
His mother thinks it could be harmful if Ryan "changed his mind", he says.
"It is not that we think we are another sex or that we want to be another sex - we are another sex. And believe me, no one would transition for fun, it is definitely not fun, and it is not easy," Ryan says.
Three transgender boys and Grant are all talking in Grant's office while sipping tea and eating chocolate chip cookies.
One of the students in year 11, David Williams, whose name has been changed for this story, is calm but concerned for the younger boys - he has gone through similar struggles and seams to occupy a guardian type role.
Williams is in a particularly complex situation where he lives a double life as a boy at school and a girl at home.
Williams' parents have not yet accepted him as a transgender male - they are struggling with grief and anxiety about what lies ahead for their child as a transgender adult.
"Not being accepted by the ones you love the most is definitely heartbreaking at times," David says so Ryan can hear.
"But we have to understand our parents' doubts and anxieties," he says.
"Just imagine, when you were born, your parents held you in their arms, and they had dreams for you - they dreamt of what kind of person their baby would become and what kind of life their baby would lead," David says.
"And then someone takes those dreams away and forces you to create new dreams - it takes time to create new dreams," David says.
LUCKY ONES
What was it like to attend an all-girls school as a boy and would these boys prefer to attend an all-boys school?
The students start laughing.
"It is like a drama overload," year 9 student Alex Curtis says.
"Girls get so emotional and bitchy - sometimes it is just too much for my head to handle," Ryan says as he rolls his eyes.
"And all they do is talk about boys - how cute they are, blah blah blah," David says.
Alex says he wanted to go to an all-boys school before he started at EGGS, although he knew it was unlikely he would have been accepted.
His transgender friends at other schools are always targeted by bullies, and he says it would be hard to find another school with the strong support system that EGGS has.
"We are definitely some of the lucky ones," Alex says.
EGGS principal Lorraine Pound says it was natural to work with students and families on matters such as gender identity and not to ignore or stigmatise it.
The fairly seamless story of these three boys is not necessarily common; many transgender teenagers have a very hard time.
They are bullied at school, rejected by their families and are at a higher risk of depression and suicide.
The latest Youth '12 health and wellbeing survey says there is particular concern about the wellbeing of transgender secondary school students.
Out of 283,758 secondary students in New Zealand, 1.2 per cent identify as transgender and 2.5 per cent were not sure of their gender.
The survey found more than 40 per cent of transgender students have significant depressive symptoms and nearly half have self-harmed in the previous 12 months.
That works out to be 680 suicide attempts by transgender teenagers each year.
TRANSITIONING
Teacher union the Post Primary Teachers' Association has issued guidelines for schools to create a safe learning environment for pupils of all gender identities and sexualities.
This means schools should avoid reinforcing "gender stereotypes".
But there is no hard and fast rule book and introducing specific polices for transgender students is the decision of an individual school.
Rainbow Youth executive director Frances Arns says conversations need to be had about how schools can better support their queer and gender diverse students, and it is great to see this dialogue happening at EGGS.
Ryan and Alex say they have already decided to medically transition. But without parental permission, which they do not have, they have to wait until they are 16 years old.
David, who is 16, says he has tried but accessing hormone therapy is hard, and the last time he tried he was turned down.
Getting hormone therapy involves a psychologist or psychiatrist giving their tick of approval - this often requires convincing a psychologist that you "really are" transgender, and deserve medical treatment such as hormone therapy.
"I don't know what went wrong. Maybe I wasn't 'trans' enough, whatever that means. It is so frustrating because you get so far in your transition and then hit a wall," David says.
Ryan, Alex and David say there is definitely a growth in acceptance of transgender people.
"There is still a long road ahead, but if we are on it together, we are not alone," David says.
- Sunday Star Times
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/education/98516010/We-are-another-sex-school-welcomes-transgender-students
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