[Blog/Commentary] [USA] TDOR
Stephanie Stevens
Sunday, November 20, 2011
TDOR
I've gotten pretty good at guessing the weight of my big red suitcase
when it's full. There was a time when I actually weighed it to make
sure it wasn't over 50 pounds. Now, I've got a fair sense of what 50
pounds feels like. When I went to the airport today I guessed that it
weighed 49 pounds and it weighed exactly 50. Phew.
I didn't make it to the NGLCC Dinner on Friday night. The day felt
like the culmination of my cold and by the time late afternoon rolled
around I was tired and achy and just couldn't imagine having to go
out, or to inflict my germs on others. So I stayed home, had some
Nyquil, and fell into a stupor well before 11pm. I've been feeling
gradually better, but it's still holding on.
This weekend the Transgender Day of Remembrance will be recognized at
services around the country, and around the world. It continues to
pain me that the single day of the year that brings us and our allies
together is a day that's dedicated to the memory of our dead. But
it's a somber reminder that the world in which we live is still a very
difficult, dangerous place for those who are different (see list of
2011 dead here <http://www.transgenderdor.org/?page_id=1663> ).
Beyond each name, each of these people was a life. A living,
breathing person whose time on earth was cut short because someone
brutalized them and took that life. But they didn't take their
personhood, nor did they take their identity. So coming together and
reading these names and hearing these stories needs to be as much a
celebration of their authenticity as an opportunity to grieve and
mourn.
Being part of these events often provokes a number of strong emotional
responses. Anger. Sadness. Confusion as to how horrific things like
this can happen. But the hope is that these emotions can become
focused in productive ways to change the world, not to simply accept
it as it is.
Just this past week a trans woman was shot and killed on the street in
Hollywood CA (story here
<http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-transgender-shooting-20111120,0,3539034.story>
) and a burned, dismembered body that had been sitting in the Detroit
morgue for 3 weeks was identified as that of a 19-year old transgender
teen (story here
<http://www.freep.com/article/20111112/NEWS01/111120374/Mom-waits-answers-transgender-teen-s-death?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE%7Cs>
). The carnage continues. But so, too, does our resolve to hold
those who do these crimes accountable, to confront the reasons they
happen, and to ensure that the memory of our dead endures.
For many, this is a time of community. Events that I've attended
through the years have been a wonderful mix of trans people of all
kinds and ages, and our allies. But I hope none of us is naive enough
to believe that coming together once a year to mourn is enough.
Indeed, there's an article in Huffington that says it better than I
could (read entire article
<http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pete-subkoviak/lgbt-leadership-splitting_b_1093522.html>
):
In marking this TDOR, it is time for leaders in the LGB
communities to admit that they need to do more. Transgender
individuals are a small minority of the LGBT community but are also
the ones who need the most support this day and age. I ask you to
imagine being a transwoman walking down the street and how many
hateful epithets you would have to tolerate in order to pick up a
gallon of milk or visit a doctor's office.
Or imagine a child at 13 or 14 being disowned and having no safe
space to turn to -- no school, no shelters, and no public services
ready or willing to take her in except for law enforcement, who will
many times pick up young transwomen on suspicion of prostitution,
whether there is valid evidence or not.
Or imagine a 19-year-old girl being dropped off at an
acquaintance's home by a taxi on a Sunday night and finding three men
on the lawn waiting for her. Imagine them kidnapping, torturing,
decapitating, dismembering and burning her alive for sport, as young,
raucous boys would to a Barbie doll. Imagine them chucking her torso
on the side of a highway, with absolutely no regret or sense of
immorality. Imagine being the mother called into the morgue to
identify a defiled torso as your daughter. Swallow that bitter pill of
reality and tell me that marriage is the most important issue for the
LGBT community in 2011. For several in the transgender community, it
might as well be 1969 all over again, because nothing has changed for
them.
Yet there are many organizations that espouse to support the
transgender community, but really what they are doing is splitting
hairs. In light of Shelley Hilliard's charred torso, the actual amount
of money and human resources that most LGBT organizations devote to
transgender services is insulting.
It's all true. And that, too, needs to change. But it's not going to
change by itself....
Last year at this time I was in Harrisburg PA where we held a
candlelight vigil on the steps of the Capital. The year before I was
at Grand Valley State University in Michigan where we held a similar
event on a similarly chilly evening. I'd have to go back into my blog
archives to figure out where I was the year before that. In 2003 I
was in DC and a small group of us met on the freezing cold steps of
the US Capitol Building.
[Photo: <http://bit.ly/uydq1s> At DOR 2003]
This year I'm traveling. I'm in a hotel. And some things in my life
are very much in flux right now. But I do not and will not forget -
not simply today but throughout the year - that any one of us could be
memorialized next year, or the year after that, or the year after
that. As long as we live in a culture that stigmatizes us, demonizes
us, dehumanizes us, and targets us - we're all at risk. But we're not
hiding, going away, or falling silent. Because to do so would be to
admit that those who violate us have won.
But they haven't. And, they won't.
Posted by Donna at 4:45 AM
Stephanie Stevens
TDOR
Posted by helenboyd – November 20, 2011
I’m speaking tonight at a Transgender Day of Remembrance event for the
first time. I’ve been reluctant to speak at one for a long time
because, as I’ve written in the past
<http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2004/11/19/remembering-were-living/> ,
I find it depressing that transphobic violence is the most visible
face of the trans community, which is otherwise a community of
outstanding talent, energy, humor and beauty. As an ally, I am creeped
out by the idea that many people first come into contact with trans
people via violence and murder. I am suspicious of the exploitation of
trans people by LGB groups who don’t otherwise pay our community much
notice.
Not remembering, for most of us involved in trans politics or
activism, is not possible. There are too many deaths every year, & too
many of us are touched personally by a death. Most of us have faced at
least the threat of violence and all of us worry about it.
I am also hesitant about the privilege expressed on TDOR: that those
murdered are often not just trans but are people of color, and many,
as well, are involved in sex work or are otherwise working class.
Employment discrimination, racism, and other aspects of otherness work
together to create an atmosphere where some lives are valued more than
others, and plenty of trans people live lives of remarkable privilege.
And cis allies, sadly, can often be unaware of exactly how much
privilege being not trans is.
That’s some of what I’ll talk about tonight.
All of that said, I am touched and amazed at how well-known TDOR is
these days: numerous students, friends, and organizations have written
or posted something on Facebook and blogs to mark the day and remember
those we’ve lost. And that, ultimately, is the kind of cultural
recognition that’s important, as long as it doesn’t end there.