Review: Hotters (Try # 2)
Alan Marshall
This is my second try posting this review:
Hooters, 3757 Keele Street, South of Finch
If Gilbert and Sullivan were writing Pirates of Penzance today, they
would be sure to include a verse or two about this "funny little
paradox" called Hooters. Last I looked at a calendar, it said it was
1997; part of the second half of the enlightened 90's. Maybe the
contradictory 90's would be more appropriate. Hooters is the shrine
of worship for the politically incorrect and the emotionally crippled.
As I looked around, the clientele were mostly men in pairs or groups
unabashedly staring at breasts and buttocks and practically drooling
into the waitresses cleavages. There were a few tables with couples
with the men looking everywhere except at the waitress displaying her
cleavage while taking their order. However, most of the crowd were
rowdy young men whipping their heads back and forth so quickly that
they were risking whiplash.
Then there were the waitresses, which ranged from sweet looking young
ladies you would like to put some clothes on and take home to mother
to slutty looking wenches wearing more makeup than clothes. Yes, some
looked like the girl next door -- albeit dressed in a skimpy
skin-tight pair of satin shorts and equally skimpy halter top. Some
looked like they walked out of the pages of Playboy -- and wearing
very little more. Maybe a homely flat-chested woman should file an
unfair hiring practices lawsuit.
The order system would be comical if it wasn't so pitiful. The
waitress steps up onto a bench and clips the food order to a metal
clip on a wire and then calls out "ORDERING" which gets every eye in
the place looking at her. She then attempts to hit the clip hard
enough to propel the clip along the wire to the grill. Over half the
time, the clip stops well short of its mark and then the waitress puts
on a show attempting to jump up and hit the order further along the
wire. Naturally the tight, short pants ride up higher and the
bouncing and jiggling is maximized.
I can imagine an employee training and orientation session:
1. Here is all you are allowed to wear,
2. When talking to a customer, bend at the waist in order to show
as much cleavage as possible.
3. Walk or run in a way to maximize the amount of bounce and
jiggle. and so on. In other words: Act like bimbos and hustle your
buns and titties for tips.
In addition to the usual beer signs and sports paraphernalia, there
are an embarrassing number of sexist and rude signs: "Hooters
waitresses are flattery operated" or the tired "Caution: Blondes
Thinking". Near the washroom the sign reads "Used Beer Department".
At least they didn't suggest recycling. At the entrance the sign
reads "Men: No shirts, no service -- Women: No shirts, free food"
Maybe we could organize a protest with about 200 topless women with
enormous appetites.
On the plus side, I did get pleasant and prompt service and the food
was very good. The chili was very meaty and tasty, although not very
spicy. My burger was excellent: possibly one of the best I've had in
Toronto. The salads at other tables looked fresh and crisp. In
general, I suspect that the food is quite good across the board.
Would I go back? Somehow, I doubt it. I pains me to see the
unabashed promotion of such shallow, cheap, sexist values. Then there
is the dilemma: Am I supposed to tip more than usual because of the
show, reducing the waitresses to sex workers?
Finally, there was the final paradox, as the sound system blared
Aretha singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Think about it.
-- Alan Marshall "It's a lot of work to get up in front of
AK20...@SOL.YORKU.CA a class and make it look like you know
York University everything there is to know about something
Toronto, Canada you know nothing about." Prof. Anonymous
(c) A. Marshall, All copyrights are retained by the author
karl mamer
ak20...@sol.yorku.ca (Alan Marshall) writes:
> As I looked around, the clientele were mostly men in pairs or groups
> unabashedly staring at breasts and buttocks and practically drooling
> into the waitresses cleavages. There were a few tables with couples
What did that comedian on Letterman call it the other night?
"There weren't any owls there! Hooters should be forced to
take a name that tells it like it is: Prostitutes and cold cheese
fries."
--
"I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but
they're definitely dirty. But a dog's got personality.
And personality goes a long way."
Visit the Conspiracy Arc-Hive!
http://www.netizen.org/Arc-Hive
trav...@caravanseast.com
ak20...@sol.yorku.ca (Alan Marshall) wrote:
[snip snip]
That was very entertaining reading.
Although I have never been to hooters, reading your review made me
feel as though I had just paid them a visit. I hope we get to see more
of your reviews in the future.
FYI - I could see your first try at the review by downloading the text
and clicking on "launch attachment" (I use Agent as my news reader.)
Although some will find it difficult if they use another program to
read news, any way you want to post in the future is fine with me.
Traveller
trav...@caravanseast.com
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