decision made

[Tami Schlabach]

It was an easy decision to make after all. This afternoon I went and spent some time with my mom and before we called my brother the doctor called us. Last week it was a different doctor, but this was the one who cared for him the week he went on the ventilator so he had a much better grasp of the overall picture. 

Short story--Dad's lungs are shot. Longer--back when he had air around his heart, part of his lung had ruptured. His lungs are full of fluid (pneumonia), and there's lots of inflammation (the body's own immune response) which has caused a lot of scarring. All this would be bad enough if he were a young man. At his age, there will probably be little improvement no matter how long we took. 

So, the only question left was whether we want to keep him hooked up to the ventilator or not as they stop the treatments and just give him whatever medications he needs to keep him comfortable. Because the human body is more comfortable without a tube down its throat and its mouth forced open, we asked that they remove the tube, which also means they will be able to move him to a room out of Critical Care and he can rest without all the bustle and the beeps. Ricki, Mom and I all agree on this decision. 

The doctor had already put him on a strong dose of Lasiks to remove fluid, so he's going to see the results of that tomorrow, and then call Mom. Short of a miracle, they will then remove the ventilator and Dad will die within minutes, hours, or days, hopefully without any pain or suffering. 

The doctor wondered if we want to see him, but we don't plan to do that. We don't plan to have a funeral, either. A funeral is to gather with loved ones, and we don't want that risk. What a strange day this is, speaking of Dad as if he's already gone. Well, he is. If he were to recover now it would be a miracle to rival Lazarus. 

It boggles my mind to think of the hundreds and thousands of times this same story is playing out all over the world, although some places don't have our resources, so their stories are much shorter. My heart goes out to the families and friends, and the medical staff who have to experience this over and over.

Thank you for all your prayers and support during this time. I pray that we will all be able to grieve in our own way and end up at peace. 

--Tami