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I want to start by thanking Graca Machel for that just gracious, kind introduction. It is overwhelming. And I want to thank her for her lifetime of service as a champion for women and children. And from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for all of the kindness and generosity that you have shown my family for our visit here. Thank you so much. (Applause.)
I am also honored to share the stage with another remarkable leader, Baleka Mbete. (Applause.) She has played a vital role in advancing equality and promoting development here in South Africa. Thank you to the both of you for joining us here for sharing this moment with all of us.
And finally, I want to thank the leaders and the congregation of Regina Mundi for hosting us in this sacred space today. It has been more than three decades, but those bullet holes in the ceiling, this broken altar still stand as vivid reminders of the history that unfolded here.
It is a story that has unfolded across this country and across this continent, and also in my country -- the story of young people 20 years ago, 50 years ago, who marched until their feet were raw, who endured beatings and bullets and decades behind bars, who risked, and sacrificed, everything they had for the freedom they deserved.
I mean, think about what happened here in Soweto 35 years ago. Many of the students who led the uprising were younger than all of you. They carried signs made of cardboard boxes and canvass sacks. Yet together, they propelled this cause into the consciousness of the world. And we now celebrate National Youth Day and National Youth Month every year in their honor.
So make no mistake about it: There are still so many causes worth sacrificing for. There is still so much history yet to be made. You can be the generation that makes the discoveries and builds the industries that will transform our economies. You can be the generation that brings opportunity and prosperity to forgotten corners of the world and banishes hunger from this continent forever. You can be the generation that ends HIV/AIDS in our time -- (applause) -- the generation that fights not just the disease, but the stigma of the disease, the generation that teaches the world that HIV is fully preventable, and treatable, and should never be a source of shame. (Applause.)
You can be the generation that holds your leaders accountable for open, honest government at every level, government that stamps out corruption and protects the rights of every citizen to speak freely, to worship openly, to love whomever they choose.
But Barack started talking to people. He urged them to start working on the change they wanted to see. Soon, slowly, folks started coming together to fight for job training programs and better schools and safer housing for their families.
And I had a similar experience in my own career. Like my husband, I came from a modest background. My parents saved and sacrificed everything they had so that I could get an education. And when I graduated, got a job at a big, fancy law firm -- nice salary, big office. My friends were impressed. My family was proud. By all accounts, I was living the dream.
And in the end, that sense of interconnectedness, that depth of compassion, that determination to act in the face of impossible odds, those are the qualities of mind and heart that I hope will define your generation.
Now it will not be easy. You women know that already. You will have failures and setbacks and critics and plenty of moments of frustration and doubt. But if you ever start to lose heart, I brought you all here today because I want you to think of each other.
And in this past presidential election, they were engaged in our democracy like never before. They studied the issues, followed the campaign, knocked on doors in the freezing snow and the blazing sun, urging people to vote. They waited in line for hours to cast their ballots.
And I have seen that same passion, that same determination to serve in young people I have met all across the world, from India to El Salvador, from Mexico to the United Kingdom to here in South Africa.
I went to school with a girl who had a child at 13. Her kid had a child at 14. That kid had a child at 15. Dozing myself on my age. But my classmate became a grandmother at 27 and a great grandmother before she hit 45.
A bit offensive, perhaps, to those on the receiving end, like the OP. Frankly, though, if the customer service person is otherwise polite and efficient, anything else to me is a bump in the road and one to be overlooked and certainly not analyzed to death. Sheesh.
Do you live where women are valued higher for their appearance maintenance catered toward the approval of men, religion, or traditional society? All of that is complete nonsense when you work with the public at large.
How should we make action towards better language? By having discussions with people who are appropriately close to us, politely asking people to use other language without judgmental add-ons, and modeling good behavior ourselves. At least in cases like this, where the language is common and the intention is good.
I do think older people have a more difficult experience due to just this sort of thing. Our culture tends towards infantilizing the elderly, and the gender aspect/benevolent sexism just make it that much work. On the flip side though, my partner has said that no person he dealt with in retail has ever been more difficult than older white women.
He was modeling his behavior on his dad and uncles, who routinely referred to older women as young (including their spouses). He was in his 40s at the time and I was in my 50s. He was genuinely confused about why anyone would see it as a problem because he thought it was a compliment.
No worries. You can italicize using HTML tags. I really like that more professional arenas are recognizing that names and how you refer to people are really important and are trying to adopt strategies to make that a conscious choice, like the stickers.
I totally agree Roscoe. Honestly, if I was at a store and saw someone do this to an employee, I would probably record it and put it on the internet. Not in an effort to dox them, but just cause like what the actual f.
Plus the bars/restaurants are subject to random sting operations. Once one of them spots a sting operation, they all call each other (in the local area), and all the bars/restaurants card everyone. They are in danger of fines and/or losing their liquor license if they get caught selling to underage people. The stings involve sending in older looking teens to buy alcohol, and they catch people not carding.
As a man, your context on this is different than it is for women, who are bombarded by messages that their value is tied to youth (and inherent in that, sexual attractiveness) and who are regularly condescended to because of their sex.
His supervisor reassigned the account, which was fairly lucrative, so his commissions were down for a few months until he could build up business with new clients. There were real work-related consequences.
Probably the overarching idea could be of general value to many people. The younger person in this question was working and on the clock when this happened. Just because OP is not at work herself does not mean this is not happening in a work context. The sales person is working.
In this case we have to be aware of the power difference between the customer and salesperson, and think carefully about what is likely to get the result we want. Snarkily lecture a minimum wage worker who deals with verbal abuse all day and could be fired based on customer complaints? Or speak to the manager/owner about their training policies for how workers address customers?
Valid point, there is an entire segment of people out there who would not register that they were causing someone to feel awkward and that was not a good thing. It is probably clearer to say, that the comment was rude or patronizing or condescending. In other comment sections we have often said that we are not responsible in SOME situations for how another person feels. I can see how a person might carry that rule of thumb over to this situation also.
Much too much is being made of this. I really wish the commentariat would save its outrage for *intentional* sexism by adults who know better, rather than pile on some kid who thought he was being polite.
I was uncertain myself, but I never heard a complaint about it, only positive comments and it was used equally on both men and women, but typically only those above 50.
I never addressed it. Would you have done so?
I also dig your recommended word choice to address this. Pair it with a quizzical/this is confusing look. That will help with the person not being offended and more likely to take the comment to heart. Word choice, body language and tone are key to a successful interaction!
How is this work related? Honestly, service and retail workers are just doing their best- give them a break. I had so much grief from older customers when I worked in retail, and often it was unnecessary.
They are both trapped in this famous optical illusion that first appeared on an 1888 German postcard and was later adapted by British cartoonist William Ely Hill, who published it in a humor magazine in 1915 with the title "My Wife and My Mother-in-Law." But the person you see first could be affected by how old you are, according to a new study published Aug. 23 in the journal Scientific Reports.
Using Amazon's Mechanical Turk, an online crowdsourcing platform, researchers showed the illusion for half a second to 393 U.S. participants between the ages of 18 and 68. [Eye Tricks: Gallery of Visual Illusions]
They were then asked if they saw an animal or a person and, if they said a person, what the sex was of the person. If the participants answered both questions correctly, they were asked to estimate the woman's age.
Most people saw the young woman, but then again, there were more younger participants (with only five above 60). The younger population tended to see the younger woman who is facing away, looking over her right shoulder and the older population tended to see the older woman looking toward the side.
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