Fwd: Recession Humour!

[Raghu Lakshminaarayanan]

Subject:  Recession Humour!

 
        The Difference between Communism  & Capitalism:
 In Communism, we nationalise the banks and then push them to
 bankruptcy. In Capitalism, we push the banks to
       bankruptcy and then nationalise them.

 Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the
       easiest way to make a small fortune?
 A: Start off with a large one.

 A concerned customer asked his stock broker if the
       recent market decline and volatility worried him.
 The broker told him that he has been sleeping like a baby.
 “Really?!?” replied the customer.
 “Absolutely,” said the broker,
 “I sleep for about an hour,
       wake up, and then cry for about an hour..”

 Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now; Ali Baba and  thirty
thieves.
 Ten were laid off!

 Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro.
       Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work
       twice the hours at the same rate!!

 Iron man is now "air-pooling" with Superman to save  fuel costs?!!

 A director decided to award a prize of $1000 for the  best idea,
       for saving the company money during the recession. It was won by  a
       young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $100.

 Women are finally marrying for love! And not money!

 The only "deposits" being made on a Ferrari are the ones made by birds, flying over them.

 Q: What's the difference between an investment banker  and a large pizza?
 A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

  Q. Did you hear Goldman Sachs has a new  cafeteria?
 A. It is called the Warren Buffet.

 Q. Did you hear Goldman Sachs and Citi are  going to merge?
 A. Yes, the new name is "Sachs and the  Citi"

 Q: What is the Capital of Iceland?
 A: About 70 cents.

 Update on the Japanese Banking Crisis:
 According to our inside contacts, the Japanese banking  crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it is getting worse.

            Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded,  we
       are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank  plans to
       cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and  is
       going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have  nose-dived
       and 500 employees at Karate Bank got chopped. Analysts report that
       there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and some staff there
       fear they may get a raw deal.

 Recession Bumper Sticker:
 The recession is worse than a divorce. You lose half
       your fortune and still have your wife.

   

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Raghu Lakshminaarayanan

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect from cheap people