More packing today. House is looking like poop now with boxes. Some empty, a lot full, some still flat. I got temp garbage boxes in each room to make it easier to purge things. Some not opened but I don't see ever using in a long time so out it goes. Still seems like there is no end in site but the two bathrooms are looking to be somewhat bare now. I have just enough stuff in the one bathroom to wash my hands. The other bathroom is my main one and I got enough stufff in there to last me till the end.
I'm just doing my thing making progress when suddenly I get hit with some anxiety. I know it's just because of this change. Been here for 9 years I'm thinking. The day to day comfort is ending. I guess that makes me feel slight anxiety. Also, now that the house is starting to look like it's been ransacked, I get the flashbacks of the past. I posted it here but just to summarize, I used to have the happy home. Nice new big home. Wife and kiddos. Classic family. Things didn't go as classic as you may or may not know. I ended up going through hell and back then hell and back again.
One of the things I had to experience was coming home after hard days work to find my house ransacked. Kiddos gone. The ex was able to move while I was at work and just split. No discussion. No talk. She just ransacked the house and left it all offed up. Later of course, she'd beg to come back and danger the carrot (kiddos). Discussed how doing what she did was wrong and she should talk before leaving. I'm not violent and if she wanted to go, just say so and not do what she did. Told her doing that hurts and it's not how grown ups should act. Of course, it's was a waste of time because she did it again. I opened the garage door to find things missing. 2nd time, I wasn't as devastated. I was disappointed but I recall that day. Saw there shelves were gone in the Garage so I just took a deep breath and let out a sigh. No anger. No freaking out. First thing I grabbed? Nope, not a beer or wine. I just calmly and quietly grabbed a big broom and big dustman so get ready to clean up the mess that was sure to be inside the house. Yup. That's what I did.
So now that I'm moving, I see the house looking a little similar to what I saw years ago. So it brought back memories and feeling of the ugly past. But I checked and still had my balls so I'm able to shake it off and man-up. That's my Sunday.
Oh yeah, church was good today. I'm meeting a lot of people now. They want me to join their clique. Not really a clique but I think a Men's group. Hehe. I feel like a fish out of water but I'm making a lot of friends there. More than the other church I was going to. Gym Sister said I looked today in my purple shirt. There's this other lady at the gym that goes to the same church and she smiled and said hi to me. So this Wednesday, I got invite to a Mens's group thing. We'll see. It's after gym class and it's not like I got big plans so maybe. I'm still carnal so I don't know if I should be there but I have to remind myself of my 1% rule. So I guess I'l be going.
Oh yeah. Today I had a cheat meal. I had a 1 lb burger with bacon even. That was my one meal for today and I"m still full. This is also me in purple. Don't mind the mess. House is in ransack mode. heheTina Kedasih 270322 Linklink 1