Tim LeBon's Personal Development Newsletter for July

[Tim LeBon]

Fancy treating yourself to a weekend of philosophy in a relaxed, rural environment this month?
 If so, I’m running two courses, both at Claridge House near Lingfield, Surrey, which might prove just the ticket.
The first is a PHILOSOPHICAL COUNSELLING TRAINING COURSE. If you are keen to in use philosophy to  help others with problems in living such as ethical issues, finding more  meaning in life , dealing with difficult emotions and career dilemmas, then there is still (just!) time to apply. The course runs between July 24th and July 26th this year. E-mail me for cost, entry requirements and further details.

If you more interested in how philosophy can help with your own life (and why shouldn’t you be?) then the new PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT THROUGH PHILOSOPHY course may suit you better. This course runs from July 31st - Aug. 2nd . Working  on  your   own, in   groups and through   tutor-led talks, you will work on your own vision of what makes life go well  and how to put  this    into   practice.   No experience     or   knowledge   of   philosophy is required.
The course will be held at Claridge House, a Victorian  building  with  full  disabled  access set  in  beautiful  gardens in the Surrey countryside.
The course  starts 4 pm Friday with tea and cake, ends with Sunday lunch.   The cost of  £170 includes the cost of  the course, accommodation and  meals.
The meals are vegetarian based on organic produce.
Medical  diets  may be  catered  for  with  advance  notice.
To book, phone 01342 832150 or 0845 345 7281 or email them at
wel...@claridgehousequaker.org.uk

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Wise Therapy  was recently recommended as one of the top books in The Guardian’s Guide to Understanding People which was very gratifying, particularly as I always intended the book to be helpful to the intelligent layperson as well as  the professional counsellor. So how can Wise Therapy help you?
1) Develop enlightened values
We all live by values, but some are more reflected and enlightened than others. Tolstoy’s short story The Death of Ivan Ilyich is the classic cautionary tale of what can happen if we leave deciding on how we are to lead our lives until it is too late and instead just follow “the herd.” Developing enlightened values is the first step towards being in a position to live your life according to the priorities you yourself, in your wisest moments, would choose.

So what are your values? Take a couple of moments and jot down 4 or 5 values which you would like to guide your life.

In the last newsletter, I conducted a poll regarding the most important values. Happiness was the clear winner, followed by meaning, truth and being loved. This is an interesting result, but you might well argue that you can’t decide what values are enlightened by conducting a poll. I’d agree, and would suggest the following questions to help  decide whether the list you’ve just written down contains your enlightened values
1) Do these values satisfactorily account for  when your life has gone well and when it's gone badly? For example, if you say “purpose” is one of your values, has your life actually gone well when you’ve had purpose, and badly when you haven’t had purpose?
2) If these values were satisfied in your life, would you say you’d led a good life? In other words, are these a complete set of values, by which you could assess your whole life? Or is anything missing? If so, what?
3) Are these values aligned with your emotional reactions?  Our emotions aren’t a completely foolproof guide to values –as CBT tells us, emotions can be based on distorted thinking – but on the other hand they can sometimes tell us important things about what we value at a gut level. For example, whom do you admire? Who don’t you respect? What are you proud of?
4) Would you endorse someone else leading their life with these values? Enlightened values aren’t just about feeling good, they are also about being good and making a positive difference to the difference world.

You can use these questions (and others, which I explain in the  RSVP method in Wise Therapy) to refine your values. 
Then set yourself goals and get into habits which help you live according to these values.


In future newsletters, I will discuss other topics that Wise Therapy  can help you with, such as making wise decisions, finding more meaning in life and gaining emotional wisdom.

Have a great summer

Tim
www.timlebon.com