Tim LeBon's Newsletter - Issue 3 - New Years Resolutions,Positive Psychology & Practical Philosophy
Tim LeBon
Instead, I believe in setting New Year's Goals. What I've done for many years is to just take a piece of paper and write down some goals for the year and put it away in a drawer. Though it may seem ridiculously low-tech in the I-Phone era, it works surprisingly well.
If any of your goals for this year are to do with being happier then you might be interested in a course I am running starting next Wednesday (January 17th) at City University, London on Positive Psychology. Positive psychology is the modern science of well-being and human strengths. It's close to being the sort of psychology I was after when I first studied the subject. Instead, I found that much that passed for psychology was all about computer models (had I studied 20 years earlier it would have been rats). The bit seemed at least to be on the right topic, humanistic psychology, was dismissed (not totally without foundation) as too woolly and unscientific. Then, in 1998, in stepped Martin Seligman to found a new branch of psychology, positive psychology, to make a science out of the study of human well-being.
My City University course is designed for the absolute beginner, though life coaches and people who have studied a fair amount of psychology have been on the course in the past and given very positive feedback. We will be looking at happiness, hope, optimism, Time and time management, wisdom and decision-making, flow, creativity and emotional intelligence over 10 weeks. A good way to spend a winter evening in my view - learn about happiness and in the process you could learn how to become happier yourself. To enrol, phone City University on 020 7040 8268 between 09.00 and 17.00. Course code is ce1941
Of course may of these topics were examined in a very profitable way long before Seligman - by philosophers, especially the bunch of philosophers who looked at the nature of wisdom and the good life in Ancient Greece. On Tuesdays, also at City University, I am running a course on Personal Development through Philosophy. Again it's a very practical course, suitable for beginner and intermediate, and is one of my own very favourite courses to run. One popular feature is the integration of film clips to illustrate the ideas. In the past we've had a clip from Zorba the Greek to illustrate Nietzsche's joyful wisdom, from About a Boy to cast light on relationships and Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, of course, for the meaning of life. Students also get a chance to think seriously about their own view of "the good life" as well of course as hearing about the ideas of such philosophers as Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, the Stoics, J.S. Mill, J.P. Sartre and Nietzsche. Topics studied include happiness, wisdom, human excellence, existentialism, love, ethics, the meaning of life and philosophical counselling. The course code is ce1944 - to enrol phone 020 7040 8268,
Which course is right for you? Well, I strongly recommend both. Or maybe you've already tried some philosophy and would like to try some psychology, or vice-versa. Personally, I find the two courses complement each other perfectly. I often say that with each of these topics - happiness, wisdom, the meaning of life - there are three big questions. WHAT IS IT? HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? HOW DO I GET MORE OF IT? Philosophy tends to be more focussed on the first two questions (what is it ?how important?), psychology more the "how do I get more". At a great risk of oversimplication, you could say that practical philosophy aims more at wisdom, and positive psychology at happiness.
If you would like to do either course, please do not contact me but instead ring up City University. Phone the Courses for Adults office (020 7040 8268) between 09.00 and 17.00. Please have all the information that is required to complete the application form ready, including credit/debit card details.
It was the first day
back in the office after the Xmas break and two young men were earnestly
discussing their New Year's Resolutions.
"I'm going to give up
drinking", proclaimed the first confidently. "I was completely wrecked after New
Year. I think my body may be trying to tell me something..."
"I'm going to go jogging every day" chimed in the second. "I went for a short run last night and felt so much better for it. From now on I'll do that every evening."
This solemn exchange of pledges was interrupted by a booming Irish voice.
"I'll give both your resolutions about a week at most". His voice trailed off into a gentle laugh. This elder statesman spoke not with malice but from the wisdom of bitter (and lager) experience.
Of course he was right. And friends, I know, because (many years ago) I was that (would-be) jogger. The three of us went out drinking that very night, putting paid to 2 resolutions in one fell swoop.
I don't imagine my experience is all that unusual. In general, New Year's Resolutions don't last very long. Although I'm a great believer in personal growth, I'm a sceptic when it comes to the value of making New Year's resolutions.
I don't want to cause offence, but I'd go further and say that New Year's Resolutions are not at all smart but are, quite literally, NUTS.
Let me explain ...
Why I think New Year’s Resolutions are nuts …
N is for NEGATIVE
More often that not, New Year's Resolutions
are about what you are going to stop doing. “I will stop
drinking/smoking/over-eating/gambling ... (- fill in your own personal bad
habit)” Why is saying what you are going to stop doing something a problem? Do
you remember that old yarn about the little boy who was told he would get a
present so long as he didn't think of a pink elephant in the next minute? Its a
bit like that. Having a resolution not to do something makes you more,
not less, likely to think of it. And if this something tempting - like eating a
biscuit , or going for a drink - then having it brought to mind is not such a
good idea. It's much better to frame a resolution in terms of something positive
(what you want to do instead or what benefits it will bring). For example, don't
resolve to stop eating cream cakes – resolve to be able to fit into those
trousers again.
In this one respect my resolution to go jogging was
better than my friends resolution to stop drinking. The trouble with my
resolution though -and most other New Year's resolutions - was that it was
totally UNREALISTIC. How likely is it that someone
who has not jogged 364 days out of the last 365 is suddenly going to jog
every night? Just as old habits die hard, new one's take a lot of effort to
cultivate. Moreover there is sound psychological evidence to back up the claim
that making a one-off resolution, however sincere, is on its own unlikely to
succeed. The gold standard here is Prochaska, Norcross & DiClemente's "stages of change "
model In their book, Changing for
Good, which applies to addicts trying to overcome drinking or smoking
addictions as much New Year's resolution, they says that typically you have to
pass through 6 stages to make a successful change. If you are interested in
their model, then I strongly recommend buying their book or visiting this web page where I describe the stages of change, how to recognise
them, and how to move on to the next stage. The point that's relevant here is
that a New Year's resolution squashes the whole change process into one
resolution - omitting stage 2, contemplation, when you weigh up all the pros and
cons, stage 3, preparation , when you where you break up the change into small,
manageable steps and make an action plan and stage 5, maintenance, when, for
example, you avoid places and people that can compromise the change. Trying to
short-cut the change process into one annual resolution is an unrealistic as
thinking you can win an Olympic medal by doing one day's training.
T stands for TIMELESS. Most effective goals are timebound. It's much better to resolve not to eat a cream cake today, than to not eat one all year. It makes the resolution more urgent and at the same time more achievable. It's not for nothing that Alcoholics Anonymous famously recommends that you proceed one day at a time. Another problem with timeless resolutions is the consequence of a relapse. Relapse is common in any change, but if your resolution is to quit forever, or to go jogging everyday then if you miss a day , it's easy to see that as failure and give in for another year . "Bang goes that New years resolution."
My final reason for arguing that New Year's Resolutions are NUTS is because they are too SAINTLY. When we make New Year's Resolutions we are often speaking on behalf of some imaginary, more saintly version of ourselves. Thats why resolutions are often so extreme. For example, I didn't really need to go jogging every day - once a week would have been a good start. My friend (who was by no means an alcoholic) did not need to give up drinking altogether – a regime of 2 nights going out with friends a week would have been fine. Misguided saintliness doesn't just make resolutions unrealistic, it can also increase resistance to them. We subconsciously realise that resolutions are too extreme, so we take pleasure in breaking them. Go on – admit it – last time you broke a (too saintly) resolution, I bet you took some pride in breaking it.
So should I just resolve not to make any New Year’s Resolutions?
The last thing I want to be is a personal development grinch. I certainly don't want to discourage you from making improvements to your life But my hunch is that on the whole New Years Resolutions contribute to the cynicism one finds in our culture about personal development, and we would be better off without them.
So what's my advice? If you want to make a big change, then read about the stages of change model and begin to put it into practice. But there are often better ways to effective personal development than revolutionary changes. In my next article, I will share with you my own method of personal growth which I apply every New Year. It seems to work a lot better than New Year's Resolutions ...
This article - and the next one on goal-setting (when it's written!) - can also be found on my personal development through Philosophy and Psychology blog, retitled Socrates Satisfied