[Thriving Despite Us] Dinosauradocious I Am Not!

[Kate]

This morning James told me that he made up a word for a good mom – a dinosauradocious.  If you know James you know this actually makes sense as he is obsessed with dinos,  He knows all of their names and can even correctly pronounce them.  Making up a dinosaur style name is possibly the best type of compliment James can dole out.  He then continued, “You are NOT a dinosauradocious.”  

What a nice way to start the day; a proclamation by your 8 year old that you are not a good mom.  Sort of makes it all worth it, don’t cha think?

I was surprised with how much it stung.  I help up my hand and told him to go eat his breakfast, ignoring his insult and pretending it didn’t bother me.  Ha! We all know it did bother me...it bothered me alot!

I know I am not perfect.  I don’t even pretend to be perfect.  At this point, I don’t even attempt to be perfect.  But I don’t think you have to be a perfect mom to be a good mom.  Actually, any mom that comes off as “perfect” seems a little creepy and Stepford wife-ish to me.  Definitely, not the sort of mom I esteem to be.  But seriously, how hard could it be to live up to the dinosauradocious label?

I love my kids with all my heart and I tell them that I love them all the time, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?

I give James snuggles every night  before bed, even though I’d much rather be watching Big Bang Theory re-runs, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?

I bought James a Happy Napper to bribe him into staying in his own bed all night, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?

I buy special treats for lunches, show up for almost all school events, and drive to kingdom come and back daily getting 4 kids to all of their extracurricular activities, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?

Apparently none of that makes me dinosauradocious to James!  

I wondered what I would have to do to be dinosauradocious in James’ big brown eyes?  Would James think his birthmother is dinosauradocious?  Would she be more able to meet his needs in a way that made him feel more whole?  Perhaps he feels empty, or abandoned or unlovable.   I don’t want to admit that I felt a twinge of jealousy.  She has a primal connection with him that I can never have and maybe he is feeling that loss.  I should find him a therapist.  Adoption issues are clearly bubbling up.  There may be a whole lot more to this dinosauradocious thing than meets the eye.

So, I asked him, “James, what does a mom have to do to be dinosauradocious?”  I braced myself for the deep conversation we were about to have about birth parents and adoption and what it all means.

“Oh, that’s easy” he happily replied, “Dinosauradociouses take their baby dinos out to dinner every night to McDonalds and Subway and they take them shopping to buy toys, lots and lots of toys.”

Ahhh, James is right.  I am definitely NOT dinosauradocious and will never be!  Poor, poor James.

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Posted By Kate to Thriving Despite Us at 2/23/2012 07:52:00 PM

[joyc...@aol.com]

that is really great!!!!  thanks sooooo much for the smile the story has brought to my face  joyce