Adios India (for real this time)
John Bodycombe
Our last day of driving was a short hop of only about 100-150 Kilometers. Unfortunately this includes a relatively intense incline of about 1,500 meters to get to Shillong, the Rock and Roll capitol of India (Also known as Scotland of the east….. seriously).
It all started out relatively uneventful with as we made our way out of Guwahati and into the mountains. The roads were in decently good shape (if annoyingly vertical), winding around the sides of steep jungly inclines and cutting through many a small village full of people who were thoroughly confused due to the multitude of brightly painted rickshaws being driven by foreigners through their small mountain towns.
As we came around one bend we saw several rickshaws stopped along the side of the road and we decided to pull over and join the party. As it turns out, there was no party to be had and the reason that the teams had all stopped was due to the fact that 2 of the teams had rolled their rickshaws over on the curve.
Fortunately everyone was okay aside from a few cuts and bruises (and being a little shaken up). One of the teams who had stopped (a Canadian team with a handy bag of tools) was using a hammer to convert the injured rickshaws into fancy new Convertible Ricks! Feeling slightly threatened at the possibility of our vehicle being outclassed we decided to press on in a glorious convoy of Canadians, Britts, Aussies and Americans (which promptly fell apart as people stopped for photos, ran out of gas and other such Rickshaw Run nonsense).
As we climbed the makeup of the land changed drastically. Starting out in dirty, dustbowl areas we made our way up into mountain jungles and finally into alpine forests as the altitude increased and the temperature decreased. Similar landscape to Lake Tahoe for any who have been there.
We only hit one minor snag on the trip, incorrectly deciding that we would be able to make it the entire distance on one tank of gas (a ballsy theory considering that our gas cap was now a plastic bag with a hair tie wrapped around) and ended up on the side of the road. Fortunately “The Volunteers” were right behind us and happened to be carrying a 10 liter jerry can full of petrol. We were back on the road in no time.
When we finally reached the pinnacle of our travels, we were greeted by a giant billboard put up by The Adventurists congratulating us on our bravery and for reaching the finish line. Now onto the final challenge: to find the Hotel Pinewood, a tea-grower getaway from the first half of the 20th century. Shillong is a hill covered, medium sized city that was surprisingly congested with traffic and since we rolled in with a few other teams we decided to have a bit of fun racing through it. Sharp curves and sharp inclines be damned, we weren’t about to drop 4 places just because we wanted to be “safe” on the last day of a reckless trip across India inside a lawn mower without a blade.
Finally (after, asking many people for directions) we saw a partially downed banner that the other teams had missed and squeaked ahead of our little pack to land in 27th place (the official sign in says 29th but that’s simply because we were too busy celebrating to be bothered to sign the register. Nuts to that, we came in 27th!).
Upon our arrival we spoke with a few of the already present teams and organizers and learned that the celebratory final day events had already begun. In fact they had begun that morning at 10:00am and due to a lack of communication (we feel on the part of the organizers) many a team was not present, thinking that the events started later. So we missed the parade through town behind a band of musicians and team members riding on the roofs of rickshaws (though we did get to participate in that again a little bit later).
Brendon was immediately dismayed to learn that we had missed the start of the infamous end of the race cricket match between the local cricket club and a motley crew of adventurists from all around so we hopped in the Rick and cheesed it on down to the cricket pitch in hopes of joining last minute. When we got there however, the match was almost at an end (we lost, as is apparently the norm).
We were able to catch the last few bowls though and split a few Kingfisher’s and Foster’s with the other teams including our friends Team Zissou whom with we had planned to caravan (in case you missed that story, just know that at the start we said we would travel together for the purpose of jolly good company but were separated within the first 50km and never saw them again).
So we wrapped up the game, took some shots for our sponsor’s and rallied into a large caravan consisting of about 25 brightly colored rickshaws drag racing down the street (in a polite manner) with a few people, Brendon included, riding on the top of our mighty steeds.
Pure bliss and pure entertainment.
We then followed Zissou and Karma Kab back to the Hotel Polo Towers where they had selected to spend the night (a classy joint relatively close to the Pinewood, where the evening’s festivities were to take place). We checked in, got our stuff together and rolled out so as not to miss any exciting occurances.
Walking into the ballroom for the final party we were greeted by a few lovely young Indian ladies who handed us each a leaf and a small nut and were instructed to eat them as it was tradition. Slightly confused, we looked around in a bewildered fashion for a moment and then decided to eat the nut followed by the leaf.
As it turned out, this was the wrong way to eat the infamous Areca nut (not actually a nut) and Betel leaf. So we chewed and chewed and the flavor that started out as strange became bitter and then dry and then started causing a gag reflex as we all made our way to the nearest garbage cans and began
spitting them out so as not to be sick before the drinking even began (apparently the nut is a stimulant not unlike a cup of coffee that is extremely popular in the region that has the lovely side effect of making your mouth a orangey yellowish color).
The party was an excellent experience as we mingled through a room, full of over a hundred people who had just succeeded in completing the same ridiculous adventure that we had, swapping stories with everyone. I could literally write a hundred pages with all the stories that people were sharing. Some you could identify with, others seemed as foreign as the idea of driving through India does to most people.
Here are a few brief highlights:
Tom and Hilly of team “Super Mole and Mini Mole” won the most surprisingly successful award for being a crazy pair of British kids who by all right’s should have died along the way, crashing into the back of a car on day two, blowing out at least 2 engines and only paying for 3 nights sleep the entire way.
Team Zissou had their engine rebuilt a grand total of 4 times even though they have racecar drivers and mechanics as members. Whether it was the extra weight from having 4 team members or just the fact that they may have had a Voodoo curse placed on “The Lady Jaquiline” (their rick is a bit of a fancy girl J)
One of the guys (I can’t remember which team…… hey, it was a long and somewhat fuzzy night) witnessed a police officer attempting to administer the law by taking a full baseball swing with a wooden rod at a motorcyclist who was attempting to skip a toll. Fortunately for the motorist, he dodged it at the last minute and continued on his way. Indian Law enforcement in action!
A British team (consisting of guys of Indian descent) got searched at gunpoint by the police until they were able to pull out their English Passports. At that time the police declared “I love England!” and sent them on their way.
And all this with at least 10 teams still out on the road!
It was an exhausting and incredible evening that truly was to be the summary of our experience so far. Finally facing the end of the event was, to be cliché, bittersweet to say the least. It’s a strange feeling, belonging to a group of people who have shared an experience so unique. Especially since it is extremely unlikely that we’ll ever see the majority of them again. I suppose that is part of the reason one takes part in such events.
That night we made our way home with a few other teams by getting a ride back to our hotel in one of the press guys’ cars (cabs apparently stop running in Shillong at 9:00pm…… LAME!).
The next morning, we had breakfast in the hotel and saw a few of the teams off as people headed out. Some were headed home, others on to more sights and adventures. Our final days in India were spent hanging out with a number of British fellows from Raj Against The Machine and Find Tweed, Wear Tweed, Drive learning how to play snooker, cricket and drink copious amounts of beer. The highlight of which would definitely be a visit to the Shilling Golf Course.
Perhaps this was once a classy joint but by now it has degraded into an amazingly derelict experience. The tee off locations at each hole were marked only by a length of barbed wire held down with wooden stakes. The holes also had incredibly descriptive names such as “Fatal Attraction” and “Lovers’ Tryst”.
Our caddies consisted of 2 older gentlemen who led us from hole to hole (not necessarily in sequential order which became clear as they took us from 4 to 8 and then tried to take us directly to 12 before we just walked ourselves to the correct hole). We also had a small posse of about 6 small children who were used as ball finders (they would find our terribly shot golf balls and then either tell us where they were, or, pick them up and try to sell them back to us for 20 rupees a piece) and also markers for the green (seriously, they would just stand over the hole with a club to show us where it is).
All of this while trying to avoid hitting couples and families hanging out on the fairways, and vehicles being driven on roads that went through the middle of the course. It was like a giant mini golf course (which may or may not be an oxymoron) with real people as obstacles. Only in India.
Well, that about sums up the online version of our adventure across India. While missing large tracts of facts (what an amazing rhyme I just stumbled upon), I believe you now have a good basis for what happened as we spent roughly a month living on the road making our way across a large third world country. Here are a few of the things we learned:
The people are extremely hospitable and friendly (for the most part) and the country is beautiful, even if a lot of it was a bit dirty….. alright, very dirty.
You can drink Pepsi and Thumbs Up (Coca Cola’s Indian product) safely but if it’s in a glass bottle you aren’t allowed to take it with you.
Diesel fuel is easier to find than regular petrol (which is apparently safely carried around in empty 2 liter soda bottles) although neither are easily found in the north east where the workers are on strike.
Don’t wear your shoes into a temple unless you want to be reprimanded by the local clergy.
Tigers still exist in the country, if in small numbers and still find people to be a good source of food (and I do mean eating them).
Smiling, waving and saying “Happy New Year!” will get you out of a lot of tough spots with the local authorities (at least if you are a big white guy).
While in India you can buy 2 weeks worth of anti-malarial medication for roughly 16 cents (and as far as I can tell I still don’t have Malaria….)
And of course: When in doubt…… CHEESE IT!
It’s hard to know how to feel about completing something like this. There was so much build up that it hardly seemed like it would ever actually come to be and now that it’s over I think it will take quite some time to digest and spit back out.
I’d also like to take the opportunity here to thank our many sponsors, from friends and family to companies who contributed to make a difference in our lives and the lives of those affected by our charities. India is a strange place to someone raised in suburban America. It is a place where most everyone has a cell phone but very few have access to a clean source of water and the country’s infrastructure doesn’t have the presence, power or resources to deal with many of these problems.
As an event we were able to fundraise over £100,000 (the final total is not yet ready) for our two charities and I think that is just peachy!
So once again, thank you for all the support and love you have shown our cause and event. You’ve made it possible for this event to take place and helped to support future events by The Adventurists who will continue to raise money for charities in interesting and increasingly dangerous ways. And as I sit here contemplating my recent experiences I can’t help but having one final thought on which I will leave you.
God I hope I don’t have Malaria.