Review for 'Ages' (Contains Spoilers)

[David.S...@gmail.com]

I've been a group member here for a very long time but this is my
first actual post! I've spent most of my HP fandom days as a lurker
and (sometimes, though not recently) author but very seldom as a
reviewer. I love reading the posts, but until recently, I've not been
the best at commenting. I don't know if this is the start of a new
trend for me or if I was just so moved by this story, but I had to
comment on this work.

I posted this review over at SIYE:

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I have been reading your stories for almost as long as you've been
posting them (and joined your group as soon as I found out about it),
I apologize for not reviewing anything before now - your work deserves
it and I offer no excuse as to why I haven't before now. I have to
tell you, I love the way you tell a story. Everything I've ever read
of yours has been absolutely captivating. It's always held my
attention and I always find something new when I read it.

Ok, onto the story specific comments.

First off, I love how you played with the tone of your story. The
story started off light enough and I was confused (because I read your
Genres and it didn't seem heavy). I really enjoyed how surprised I was
when it turned very heavy. Because of how you did this, I really got a
sense of how confused everyone (especially Harry and Ginny) were. Like
them, I felt that something very important was happening and yet I
couldn't understand just WHAT that was. Just when I thought I had it
figured out, things would change leaving me at the beginning (more
comments on this later). I feel that this was done to superb effect .

Also, your use of the twins (Potter not Weasley) was heart wrenchingly
beautiful. There are very few things in the world that are as tragic
as a really sick child. The impact of Jamie trying to reassure his
parents that he was alright and Lily saying 'we have to go now, bye
daddy. Bye mummy' was almost too much to bear. A family friend lost a
child when I was younger and the image of that day still deeply
affects me.I will never forget seeing the men that taught me how to
act like a man being so overcome with grief that everyone of them
could not hold back the tears. I know what Sirius meant when he said
'I can't see that again.'

It's amazing what simple words can do. For me, the most important part
of the story was Lily saying 'Just hold hands and practice. That’ll
help. You’ll miss it if you don’t, I promise. You can have years.' How
many times do people miss out on things because they aren't able to
see what they have? Everyone can relate to regret; knowing that things
could have turned out so much better if they had just acted instead of
letting fear rule their lives. Thank you for driving that point home.

There are a lot of things that I do not understand about this story,
and normally that would bother me. Most of the time I would want to
know about what was wrong with James and Lily. Or what happened in the
future that was so terrible? Why are the children sick? Why did
Harry's wand end up in the fireplace (my first thought was that James
threw it in there when the first arrived - but why would he do that)?
Just who are Lily and James (the 'they don't talk like children' made
me think that they were somehow not who they claimed to be, maybe
Harry and Ginny). However, I realize that I am not SUPPOSED to
understand any of this.

Please know that your story has touched me very deeply. Whether or not
you ever choose to play in this world again, I want you to know that I
will always try to remember to 'hold hands and practice.'

Thank you so very much for this story!

CEO Shaft - David

[Dave]

I'll respond fully on SIYE, but I'd like to ask a favor. If you have
time, read the story again, and pay extra attention to what the
children say, to whom they say it, and how they address people. Also,
forget DH. Focus on the story's title and its canon source, "We
could've had ages."

Thanks,
Dave