ISLAMIC HIJAH

[Zaafirah Muhammad-Ali]

Islamic Hijah

Men and women, although having many aspects in common, also possess unique characteristics. One such characteristic is that women are a delicate, beautiful, and likable beings. They are charming, attractive, and lovable; whereas men are charmed, attracted by and love women’s qualities.
When a man marries a woman, he wishes all his wife’s beauty and affection to be reserved for him. He wishes to be the only one who benefits from her charm, affection, coquettishness, beauty, sense of humour, etc and to strictly avoid men. Man is, by nature, very ardent and intolerant of another man either looking at his wife or having any kind of relationship with her. He would regard a close relationship between his wife and other men to be a violation of his lawful right. He expects his wife to observe Islamic H:jdb (statutory Islamic dress for women) and by adapting herself to Islamic behaviour and ethics she cooperates in maintaining his lawful rights.
Any faithuful and fervent man would have such a wish. A woman’s social behaviour, which is based on Islamic ethics, would set her husband’s mind at rest; he would then work enthusiastically to provide for his family and his affection for his wife would increase. Such a man would not be attracted to other women. On the contrary, a man whose wife is not concerned with Islamic Hijdl, and displays her beauty to other men or socializes with them, would seriously become upset. He would regard his wife as responsible for trampling over his rights. Such a husband would always suffer from distress and pessimism and his love for his family may gradually fade away.
It is therefore in the interest of society and women that they should be dressed modestly and behave humbly; they should appear in public without any make-up and should abstain from showing off their beauty to others.
Observing Hijdb is an Islamic duty. The Almighty Allah says in the Holy Quran:
“And say to the believing women that they should cast down their looks and guard their private parts, and not display their ornaments except what appears thereof and let them wear their head coverings and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers. or the father of their husbands, their sons. or the sons of their husbands or their brothers or their brother’s Sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess. or male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments ma)’ be known; and turn to Allah all of you. so that you may be successful (24:31).”
Islamic Htjdb and its observance in society is beneticial to women in many aspects:
(I) They can protect both their social worth and inner values much better, and guard themselves against just being an object on display.
(2) They .can prove both their faith and loVe for their husbands more effeztivelv and thus help create and maintain a warm family atmosphere while preventing ill-feelings and family rows. In short. they can win their husband’s hcartsand establish themselves in their families.
(3) By observing Islamic HijJb, unlawful flirtation
looks by such people as oglers would cease and help in lessening the amount of rows, strengthening the family roots, and as a result create an atmosphere of tranquility within its circle.
(4) Islamic Hijdb of women would also help prevent
young unmarried men, from deviating from the right path. Thus forestalling harm to the young men, which would also benefit the women of the society.
(5) If all women observed the regualtion of Islamic
Hijãb, then all women could rest assured that their husbands, when not at home would not encounter a lewd woman who might draw his attention away from the family.
Islam is aware of woman’s specific nature of creation and regards her as a very important base of society with responsibilities towards it. It demands her to make sacrifices to carry out her responsibility by observing Islamic Hajãb, which in turn would forestall social corruption and deviation and go a long way in creating stability, security and glorifying her nation. But definitely the greatest reward is with the Almighty Al!ah for performing her divine duty.
Dear lady! if you are interested in the stability and peace of your family and your husband’s continual trust in you; if you are concerned about the social rights of women; if you are interested in the youth’s mental health and are worried about their deviation from moral values, if you want to take positive steps towards bringing to a halt the seduction of women by corrupt men; and if you are seeking Allah’s satisfaction by being a faithful and sacrificing Muslim; then you should observe Islamic Hydb. You should not display your beauty and adornments to strangers, be it in the house with your close relations or at other social gatherings outside your own home. You must cover yourself before your brothers-in-law and their sons, sister-in-law’s husbands, aunts’ husbands, and cousins. Being not dressed as per Islamic Hijdb before these people is a sin and may also cause great distress to your husband, even though he may never mention it.
A woman is not restricted to covering herself to the same extent before her father-in-law, her own brother, and her nephews, although it is better to observe a certain degree of Islamic H,jãb before these people too. In other words women should not appear before these relatives of hers in the same way as she would make herself attractive for her husband. This is because most men dislike their wives to appear attractive by wearing attractive clothes and make up before other men; and of course it should not be forgotten that the tranquility of mind and the trust of a man in his wife is crucial to the survival and security of the whole family.

Forgive Your Husband’s Mistakes

Everyone, except those that Allah has declared as “Infallible” makes mistakes. When two people, who love together, and cwith each other, make mistakes, they must be forgiving. If they do not forgive each other, then their marriage will come to an end. Two business partners, two neighbours, two colleagues, two friends, and specifically, a husband and a wife need to be able to forgive each other. If the members of a family are unforgiving and pursue each other’s mistakes, then either the family will separate or they will experience an unbearable life.
Dear madam! your husband probably makes mistakes. He may insult you, abuse you, tell lies, he might even hit you. Such acts might be committed by any man. If your husband, after making a mistake, regrets it or you feel he is regretful himself for his misconduct, then forgive him and do not pursue the matter. If he is regretful but not prepared to express his apologies, then do not try to prove his mistake. Otherwise, he might feel humiliated and he may retaliate by picking out your mistakes and consequently start a major row. So it is better for you to remain silent until he condemns himself from his conscience and starts to feel remorse about it. He would then regard you as wise and devoted wife who is interested in her husband and family.
“The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: ‘A bad woman does not forgive her husband’s mistake and does not accept his apology’.”49
Is it not pitiful that a sacred marital covenant should be broken because a woman is not prepared to forgive some mistakes of her husband?

Coping with Your Husband’s Relatives

One of the problems of family life is the one cause between the wife and her husband’s relatives. Some women do not have a good relationship with their husband’s mother, sisters, or brothers. On the one hand the wife may try to dominate her husband so that he would bot be able to pay any attention even to his mother, or any other relatives and she may try to sow discord between them. On the other hand, her mother-in-law regards herself as the owner of her son and daughter-in-law. The mother tries hard to hold on to her son and is watchful that the new woman does not try to possess him fully. She may fabricate lies about her daughter-in-law or find fault in her. Such an attitude might be followed by many arguments and even occasional hostilities. The situation becomes even worse if they all live in the same house. Even though a row may occur between two women, the real anguish and distress remains with the man in the middle.
The husband is trapped in an argument where he cannot take sides. On the one hand is his wife who would like to have an independent life without any interference from outsiders. He naturally feels that he must support her and make her happy. But on the other hand, he thinks of his parents who have helped him with his life. education, and have spent their own lives in bringing him up. He feels that his parents expect him to help them in their times of need and that it would not be fair to abandon them. Besides, if he himself was in need of something, who else, other than his parents, would help him and his family. As a result, he realizes that his best and most trustworthy friends are his parents and relatives. So, the dilemma for a sensible man is either to choose the wife and abandon the parents or vice versa; but neither of these is possible.
Consequently, he has to cope with both sides and keep them satisfied which, itself, is a difficult task. The only possible way to ease the situation is that the woman should be loyal and wise. A man in this situation expects his wife to help solve the problem. If the wife respects her mother-in-law, seeks advice from her, and becomes obedient and friendly with her, then the mother-in-law will be her greatest supporter.

 

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Tasleemah Zaafirah Muhammad-Ali

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