[The Non-Euclidean Blog] Naughty Alaska

[NEB]

On behalf of reasonable Californians, I'd like to apologize to Alaska—nay, the entire nation—for our Nannycrat legislators. If only their righteous indignation could be contained within our borders.

This time, the ever-vigilant Dianne Feinstein has noticed that Alaskans aren't acting like Californians. This cannot be, so she's introduced legislation to correct this hideous oversight. Specifically, she wants to forbid civilians from shooting animals from aircraft. The main targets are Alaskans who, with permission from the Alaskan Department of Game, cull wolf packs from the air.

Her reasoning is ridiculous. The practice, she says, is inhumane:

Shooting wildlife from airplanes is not sport -- it is cruel and inhumane. It undermines the hunting principle of a fair chase and often leads to a slow and painful death for the hunted animals. This practice should be banned.

Therefore, she's introduced legislation that:

...limits airborne hunting to employees of state fish and wildlife agencies, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Department of the Interior.

Let me see if I've got this straight: this cruel and inhumane practice should only be committed by government officials. Hm. Okay. Maybe next we should prohibit sex trafficking, except by employees of the State Department.

This bill isn't about ending aerial hunting; state employees would still do it. It isn't about stopping the wolf shoots; states could still do it when they deem it necessary to prevent a "biological emergency." All this legislation would do is tell states they can't delegate the job to civilians (who, of course, are infantile morons who can't be entrusted with weapons).

This is nothing more than a bunch of states horning into another state's business, telling it exactly how to manage its wildlife. Y'know what, senator? How Alaska manages its wolf herds is none of your business. Of course, the Nannycrats don't believe that anything is beyond the Eye of the federal government.

A sister bill was simultaneously introduced in the House, also by a Californian, but with 106 cosponsors (almost all Dems). With any luck, both bills will get lost in the health care kerfluffle rather than—once again—expanding federal babysitters into state business.

Warning: Graphic Memories of Growing Up Conservative

For laughs, check out the video on the Defenders of Wildlife page. Intended to horrify the viewer with its depiction of Alaska's brutal lupine butchery, it spends a full 45 seconds warning you of the GRAPHIC IMAGES to come from the SENSELESS SLAUGHTER perpetrated by ALASKA and most especially SARAH PALIN.

Sorry to break it to you, DoW, but The Happening was less anticlimactic than this video. Probably has something to do growing up in a Montana hunting family. Once you've shot a deer, slit it from stem to stern, and left its guts for the coyotes...well, pictures of hunters posing with barely-bloody wolves are less sickening than the hand-wringing angst that produced this video.

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Posted By NEB to The Non-Euclidean Blog at 7/30/2009 08:39:00 PM