Awards, week 4

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Kevan Rich

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Oct 8, 2015, 6:04:29 PM10/8/15

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Ok, sorry guys, this is my first time writing these, they may be a bit haphazard but whatever...

In no particular order...:

The Eddy---Me, Fuzzy D! I'm ecstatic. Having the #1 qb on bye, and considering my other struggles, I had basically chalked this week up as a loss. Imagine my surprise when I not only won, but had the highest score. Go ahead, "poo poo" it all you want, it was a very low scoring week across the board. I was the only one in triple digits, but whatever, gimme that $10.00! I didn't have a single Eddy all last year, so I'm happy. Btw, did y'all see that Cairo Santos?! (On my bench no less...)

Quad Balls---I dunno, I'm a little unsure of the actual definition of this award. If it goes to the closest victory, that'll be Seth-a-kins, winning by a margin of 12. He's got a baby on the way, so we know his "boys can swim." But does he actually have 4...not sure...

The Sharted---This is gonna have to go to Jack, seriously, wtf?! While others may have had more bench points than Jack, the difference in points between his bench and actual team was about 6. And had he played Ivory and brother Eli, he actually would've won. I hate when that happens. Still glad I won, but I digress...

The Bottom Feeder---Um , this award goes to...lemme see..EVERYONE! What a wacky week. The difference in score in 4 of the 5 match ups was almost 30 points! That's craaaaaaaaaazzy! But someone has to get it, and it's Cella. Dude, the konami code is sooo easy, everyone knows it, what are you doing wrong?! Matt scored the lowest of the low, and Gus Fring feasted on him, like so many chickens, like the Cubs on those puny pirates. This was also the last matchup of winless teams. Is Jeff on the rise? Will he once again become the undisputed meth king of Albuquerque? I'm a little afraid...

Wait, It's Not Golf, er, Whatever...---Up up down down, shoot, what was it again, where's my Nintendo Power?! See above, the lowest of the low, just...yikes. How the mighty have fallen. Poor drafting, bad luck? Can't say for sure, but it ain't pretty. Nothing on his bench could've helped either. This is NOT the team you are looking for..move along...

Poo In The Pants---I'm actually gonna give this to Drew and myself this week. We had a MASSIVE trade in the works on Saturday, but it never came to fruition. I think both parties were to blame. Perhaps I procrastinated a bit, perhaps he was a bit impatient. Either way, the trigger was never pulled, and actually, I don't think it would've made a difference in either of our matchups. Who was involved in this potential blockbuster trade? You'll never know!!!

The Beat Down!---The Chicken Brothers, with a margin of victory of about 34 points. Did we really think he was gonna go 0-7 again? Now let's see if his cubbies can lay the beat down on them cardinals! I'm really hoping so!

Tough Luck---Eh, I'm not seeing it this week...but.....

The Abe Froman---Haven't heard that name in a while, eh? I forgot about this one. And perhaps I'm premature in handing it out, but whatever. It goes to the last team to get a win, and seeing as we only have one team left that is winless...I'll give you a clue as to the recipient...it has to do with Japan, and the 80's...you'll figure it out.