2015 Week 9 Awards
Matt Cella
After the way this season has been going I didn’t think I would ever write another awards post again. The awards this season have been a little…well…strange. I have seen the Bottom Feeder Award go to losing teams, the Sharted Award go to winning teams, and even the Poopy Pantz given to somebody in the wrong week they committed the violation. I’ve been a little rusty, but I’m going to show you guys how it is done.
***The Eddy*** The Konami Code
The first Eddy of the season, and I was starting to wonder if I offended Lord Eddy. Week 9 was my first week breaking the 100 point barrier all season and it came at a great time. Ron put up an incredible effort especially with the handcuff of the year on his team and having Sammy Watkins come out of his little shell. That said I was quite happy with my lineup choices with the exception of Malcolm Floyd who might be done for the year. Either way it is another one in the books.
***Quad Balls*** Fuzzy Dunlop
I think Kevan deserves the “All Lucky Award” if there was one. At the time of this writing he is tied for first place, but has the second lowest amount of points scored in the league. He also has the lowest points allowed, which we all know a team in the LLL has no control over. Once again Kevan steals a win from Moutoux by outscoring him by 1.3 points. Shhhhesshhhh.
***The Sharted*** You're Killing Me Smalls
This has not been the season Bob was hoping for. First he muffs up the first overall pick and now he is tied for last place. The Sharted is a reminder to those teams that they need to make wiser lineup decisions. 91.8 points were left on the bench by dear ol’ Bob. But to be fair two of his bench players were QBs that had very good games.
***The Bottom Feeder*** Fuzzy Dunlop
90.4 to 89.1. This is the reason we created the Bottom Feeder. Kevan would have lost to every single person in the league, except for the guy he played this week. In fact Bob’s bench outscored Kevan’s starting lineup. Kevan has the magic touch this season, but does he have enough to last over the next four weeks.
***Wait, We Aren’t Playing Golf*** QB Browns
89.1 points is not a great number, but it is certainly a lot higher than some of the other WWAPG awards given this season. Valiant effort. At least Beast Mode is playing this week.
***The Poopy Pants*** Seriously WTF?!
For once I don’t have to write “pending” here. Jeff Jones was the one time sovereign overlord to this award, but because of rule changes I can finally dub my own Poopy Pantz Award. I was thinking about Ron’s terrible QB decision by playing Geno Smith, but he confessed and Fitzpatrick was doubtful to play earlier in the week. No, the award this week has to go to team Taco for spending a quarter of his entire FA budget on Vernon Davis. We all know that Taco loves Vernon Davis, and I’m pretty sure everybody knows about his love for the Broncos. Once the Broncos acquired Davis I’m sure Jack pitched a tent the size of the Eifel Tower. But spending $250 was a mistake and there are three reasons why you deserve the PP.
1) $250 is money you spend on a season saver. Vernon Davis will not save your season. I know Peyton loves his TE, but Denver has two other TEs on the team and Davis is just starting to learn the playbook.
2) You already have two TEs on your team, Witten and Gates. They are both startable TEs. Now you are burning two bench spots on your roster. Yes, I know you can play two TEs, but ask Drew if that plan ever worked out.
3) Davis only had one target on Sunday, and guess what…he dropped it. Meanwhile Owen Daniels proves he is the apple to Peyton’s eye. Terrible waiver wire move Jacques. But not as bad as dropping $250 on Andre Johnson in week 6. Yep…that’s right…look it up.
***The Beat Down*** Theres Somethin About Murray
Not the worst beat down of the season, but beating a team by 20 points is enough to rename a team. Seth you have the right to rename Jack’s team this week.
Jack Scanlan
Dang I missed this! Mark my words Vernon Davis is going to make a big splash. I've got plans for a late season surge!
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