Re: Day 12 Devotion
Chardea Murray
DEX Devotion
Hello DEX Sisters,
I pray all is well with everyone. It feels like it’s been FOREVER! Every month I say that I’m going to participate in DEX this month, but I somehow manage to let the 12th day of the month slip away without checking in and ministering to the group. However, this month, I absolutely had to reach out. I’m approaching my 30th birthday on November 1… and I feel lots of apprehension. I’m not where I want to be career wise, I’m single with absolutely no prospects, and I’ve never felt so alone, invisible, and worthless.
It’s too emotionally draining to recount my journey, but overall, I feel like I’ve done a lot. I strive everyday to live a disciplined life trying to follow Christ. I’ve prayed, abstained, served, participated in church movements… you name it---- but my situation has not changed. I need change so badly. Two of my most biggest desires is to get a better job and relocate out of Jacksonville, Florida. This group has heard me go on and on about my ex of 7 years, but this year has taken the cake! My ex of the past 7 years has gotten engaged and married to a new, younger, prettier 25 year old law student all within 7 months. He married her on our 7-year anniversary weekend (4th of July). I have to see them at meetings, grocery stores, restaurants, banquets, etc. It’s extremely painful. I’m no saint, but I know I don’t deserve to have to see that when I’m just trying to move on with my life. Moreover, I have to see him spend the empire on her that I helped him build. What’s even more outrageous is right before I chose to end the relationship… he renounced JESUS. He said he didn’t believe in JESUS and JESUS wasn’t real. Nevertheless, he life has seemed like a cake in the park. The cases I helped him work were settling and he was traveling the world with his new companion, buying designing bags, and “making” it rain. While me on the other hand, I’m living paycheck to paycheck and saving just to enjoy myself from time to time.
So what now? Why are things like this? Am I doing something wrong? Why won’t things change? Why do I keep getting rejection after rejection when I apply to new jobs to get me away from this city. Why won’t any other relationships work out? Why have I lost nearly any and everyone I counted on as a friend? Why doesn’t anyone understand what I’m going through? Why do I feel so alone?
I don’t know… but I do know the GOD I serve. I’m going to choose to hold on. I’m going to choose to stand firm and grab on to HIS word with everything inside of me. I’m going to trust the GOD that has blessed me with so much and have faith that HE will change my circumstances. HE will blessed me with the husband of my dreams to make me realize and understand why it never worked out. HE will bless me with an incredible job that pays good that is engaging, and I am excited to wake up and go to work. HE will bless me with an amazing loving family of my own with amazing, loving and loyal friends. I have no idea how and when this is going to happen… but I’m holding on! I’m claiming these things all in JESUS precious name! I’m praying and claiming this for anyone else in this group that may be experiencing the same thing. We will OVERCOME… we have to. GOD never lies.
I came across this message during a random google search and it blessed me so I want to share it with you. I pray that this helps someone. GOD Bless! Stay encouraged!
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Some of the questions I am frequently asked are... "Why doesn't God answer my prayers?" ..."Doesn't He see my needs?" ..."Doesn't He care about me?"
So, I'd like to address these questions... The first thing you need to be assured of, is God knows your needs before you even ask (Matthew 6:8)
Second, God cares unequivocally about you. Here are some scriptures to back that up...
I Peter 5:7 "Cast your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you."
Ephesians 5:29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.
Nahum 1:7 The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Matthew 6:25-26"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
- See more at: http://www.hopeforthebrokenhearted.com/when-your-prayers-arent-answered/#sthash.Q1EzmdEk.dpuf
Asha Brewer
Amen!
Chardea, this is so encouraging to read/ hear. Just to know and identify with the "suffer" side of the Christian journey. All of our "sufferings" are different, but what's the same about them all is that it sucks [to be frank]. I too find myself sometimes so irritated about the advancement of others who seemingly have little to no relationship with Christ, when I'm busting my butt and loving on Jesus and don't necessarily see the score adding up in my favor. I usually make complaints to God about it (can you imagine if God had a complaint box?! Jeez!), which allows me to hear and feel my true emotions. I've found that when I keep it in and pretend like it doesn't exist, it grows...exponentially. But when I talk it out to God, I have a sense of reassurance. I know I don't like where I'm at. And I know HE knows I don't like it...and it somehow make it easier to deal with. In fact, I find that it makes me see Him even more, just to further share how in feel and to hear better how He wants me to deal with it or progress out of that place. In the end, I'm surely closer to Him for it. I don't understand it now, but I know my reward is and will be so much greater for it all.
I looked up these verses on "suffering." They make me feel better about enduring. God's up to something, even if I have no clue when, where, what, why, or who it is. :)
Romans 5:3-5 ESV / 825 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
1 Peter 5:10 ESV / 663 helpful votes Thank you for your vote.
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
James 1:2-4 ESV / 489 helpful votes
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Romans 8:18 ESV / 405 helpful votes
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
1 Peter 4:12-19 ESV / 258 helpful votes
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. ...
Revelation 21:4 ESV / 219 helpful votes
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
John 16:33 ESV / 183 helpful votes
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 ESV / 178 helpful votes
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies
Dr. Asha Fields Brewer
Speaker, Writer, Radio Personality
www.doctorasha.com
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