Dont hate, appreciate!

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Marley Magaziner

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May 28, 2010, 2:00:30 AM5/28/10

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What up humpers!

My skinny jeans were too tight so I took them off and pouted at them. I write to you sans pants. Oh lala.

Also you all fail at coming to our book-n-booze giveaway party. Except for you, and you know who you are.

So I spent 1.5 days at Book Expo America and got a lot of free books but wasn’t blown away… more exhausting than informative. But more totebags than I’ll ever need. I’ma find a few trick-or-treaters and give them the fanged happy face totes I got that were promoting www.vladtod.com. Yessss. I also have a looong list of trade publishers I need to bug about work. While academic publishing is a laugh and a half… I need a change. Maybe out of publishing altogether (gasp!) but probably not out of the storytelling/information business. We’ll see.

For the rec, I work for a “larger publisher” and according to the Daily Rumpus Stephen Elliott thinks we’re not to be trusted. It’s funny because a lot of the smaller presses are now under larger publisher umbrellas and if you don’t know that, go back to author school and start again.

The thing is, from where I am, no one’s out to screw anyone in this world. There’s no point. There’s only so much money to be made on information. This isn’t big banking—it’s not like the little presses are your local credit union and big publishers are Goldman-Morgan-Madoff or whatevers. You think Soft Skull is going to sue Google for violating copyright law when they scanned and distributed hundreds of thousands of your books online? You think little presses can always afford to hire the right people to make sure your book looks good and gets the right treatment—copyediting, proofreading, composition, paper selection, cover design, marketing, sales? Maybe, but those experts are probably not on staff *cough not getting health insurance nor paid enough cough*. I’m all for supporting indies when it matters. But show me an author who’ll turn down HarperCollins to go with Small Beer Press and I’ll show you a guy with a computer and a trustfund and possibly some brain damage. Artistic integrity-schmintegrity; work that shit out with your publisher before you sign stuff. If you find the right publisher for your book, you’ll be working together, or at least you should be. Negotiate your contract so it works for everyone and be nice and trust that the publisher’s people aren’t there to fuck with you. We’re not. You’re not worth it. Especially if you’re not nice. (I’m looking at you, Problem Authors of the world.)

And that’s all I’ll say on that because I’m srsly out of control.

Um… oh. The Lost finale. I liked it up until the last 15 minutes which were disappointing… but fuckit, I couldn’t have done better. Also how did it take me this long to realize that jack’s name was CHRISTIAN SHEPPARD. Yeesh. I'm not gonna go off on the Lost Finale Haterz cuz...also not worth it.

I want cake. Someone bring me some gluten-free cupcakes. k tx.

Stuff, I mean, HATERZ on the internet!

You guys! Garrison Keillor said something in the NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/27/opinion/27iht-edkeillor.html) and people actually listened enough to get their undies in a bunch!

Here: http://flavorwire.com/94044/publishings-not-dead-the-industry-responds-to-garrison-keillor wherein I am quoted, poorly, as not using a semicolon. I had other shit to say but other people made my point for me and I couldn’t dignify GK’s woe-is-me-whineypants-rambling with a response.

Also here: http://therumpus.net/2010/05/oh-garrison/ where I just commented…

Why not celebrate the fact that people, especially young people, are reading more… are interested in stories and words and, as Stephen asserted in a recent Daily Rumpus, that folks are desperate for the community that reading creates? So what if it’s not highbrow blah blah… elitism is boring. Bring your whole liberal-we-accept-everyone-yes-even-you beliefs into the publishing world and embrace change even if you don’t like it? Luddites=lame. Sharing information at a reasonable and fair price=good. Yay.

also, who among us read this in a physical newspaper. anyone? anyone? Bueller? yeah. So... nyah.

Another article that got me riled up for 5 seconds: http://www.observer.com/2010/brobos-paradise?page=1

Basically interviews with a bunch of happy and probably white snobs trying to get the rest of us riled up about… class issues and borough wars or something? I dunno; it’s not exactly news that there are places in Brooklyn where young sorta-wealthy home-owning food-co-op shopping backyard-tomato-plant-growing ironic-pbr-sipping folks live… and that they are (gasp) happy and that their income isn’t (gasp) from soul-sucking jobs. They’re paid to be creative! That’s pretty rad. Good for them for being able to live comfortably. I’m jealous that they’re all comfortable and self-actualized n shit. I’m working on that. I think I’m doing ok. And then! The Manhattan backlash saying that Brooklyn isn’t keeping it real enough…or something? (haterzzzz!)

Can’t I just pick a place to live and not have it be a statement on my new-york-a-tude and how “real” I am? Shit, Hoboken is closer to the heart of NYC than most of the boroughs…and you know how we like to hate on jersey. Yawn-zers. Just tell me what to do to be cool and I’ll do the opposite, because uncool is really cool, unless I decide to do it just to be ironic. K? K.

Caption Contest from @russmarshalek: http://debbiestier.com/post/638318321/garyvee-speaking-at-bea10-about-his-next-book I’ll share mine with you, but first I want submissions. Best submission gets a signed box set of Prairie Home Companion and a WNYC totebag… or a not-signed copy of “Fruitcake: Heirloom Recipes and Memories of Truman Capote and Cousin Sook” and a BEA 2010 totebag, whichever I happen to have lying around.

In the words of Ke$ha, “haters just want to hate out loud…fuck the cynics.” http://keshasebert.org/index.php/2010/05/03/keha-on-her-haters-f-the-cynics/ Preeeeetty sure she’s stoned. But whatevs. She’s right.