Re: Compulsion Towards Vengence Download Movie Free
Malena Bower
The truth is no one can get rid of the fear response, no matter who they are or what they do. This response is hard-wired into our brain and is needed for our survival. A problem only occurs when the response comes about when it is not needed. When it starts to curb on your life and on your freedom. The goal is to no longer fear the feeling of fear so that it no longer has any influence over how you live your life, it is not to eliminate fear entirely.
So today I am not going to talk about getting rid of fear but more about learning to be more comfortable with fear. I often refer to fear as an energy surge, as that is what it is, a surge of energy. Does this energy surge feel uncomfortable and scary? Yes. Is it harmful in any way? No. Will allowing its presence lead you to lose it? No
One of those needs is the fight or flight response; one that is vital for our survival. Otherwise, if someone jumped out at us with the intention of attacking us, we would just stand there and be in far more trouble than if we fought or fled.
It was the fear of fear that stopped me from living the life I wanted, not life itself; it was the refusal to experience it that kept all this fearful energy trapped inside of me. I always thought I needed to find a way to no longer experience it, to seek out a method to make it go away and then I could finally be free and live my life.
But the truth was that I could never be free unless I released this stored-up energy and that could only ever come by allowing myself to feel it. A big part of that was losing my fear of the fear response itself.
I realised the reason my fear came when it was not appropriate was to do with the amount I was carrying around inside me. My body kept trying to release it, but I would not let it. I either avoided, ran away from any triggers or attempted to suppress the feeling. I would do anything but allow myself to feel it.
Also, if I was constantly avoiding life, then my brain would conclude that certain situations were to be avoided and a danger to me, so the fear response would be turned up. So, the less I avoided, the more stored energy was released and the more the fear response would be turned down. This is why knowledge could only take me so far, the real progress was out there, engaging back in life and no longer rearranging my life around not feeling it.
I realised that the outside world was not the cause of my fear at all, if this were the case, then everyone would be scared of the same thing. I understood deeply that the outside only triggered what was inside of me and that my past avoidance had created the overactive fear response. My brain was just doing what it was designed to do by trying to keep me safe through the information presented to it from my past actions of avoidance.
If instead, I sent it the opposite message and no longer fled, no longer avoided, then I would be sending it the correct message that I was perfectly safe and so the fear response could be turned down and the fearful energy stored within could be released, not immediately but over time and this is exactly what happened.
The past situations I had avoided were actually my teacher here, they were now triggering what needed to be felt and released. Yet, previously I had blamed them for the cause of my fear and so my automatic response was to keep avoiding them.
Because of this wrong vision, I then avoided the outside, and so my mind became fearful of life. Thinking that if I was avoiding a particular situation, then there must be danger there and that it must continue to keep me safe by continually triggering the fear response.
So now it was my job to teach my brain that I was totally fine and safe in the situations I had once avoided. I needed to teach it that I was fine while understanding that the reaction would kick in for a while yet until it was sure that I was okay. And I also needed to understand that there was a lot of past fearful energy that I had suppressed yet to release. This was a real revelation to me as previously I thought that if I still felt fear then I was doing something wrong.
I decided I wanted my life back and some uncomfortable feelings were no longer going to stop me. It was also exciting and empowering knowing I could do anything no matter how I felt inside, that I could act independently from the fears of my mind and the energy surge and how it would no longer control me and what I did.
Every time I pushed my boundaries, every time I did something that I had previously avoided, there was a peak of these feelings and then they flatlined into nothing. The body was not capable of producing it indefinitely.
By seeing through fear and its limits in this way, by seeing that nothing apart from feeling uncomfortable ever happened, I really began to lose my fear of fear itself. I got to the point where it just felt like another emotion I was feeling, it became very ordinary, rather than something to desperately escape from.
In time this energy began to release itself and the fear response began to be turned down. I would go into the same situations I had previously avoided and nothing would happen. It was strange at first not to feel the need to escape, to no longer feel the feelings I had become so used to, to no longer plan my life around not feeling it but it soon became the normal way of living, my default setting.
I would love to say that you can read a certain book, go on a retreat, take some online course or swallow a pill and you will instantly be free but that is not how it works. Each process I had to go through to be free, took action, courage, patience and some understanding of the process I was going through.
This is why so many people get stuck as they want to be free without having to go through feeling uncomfortable. I look back and every counsellor I went to see, every book I read, every pill I took, every method or technique I tried to implement, and it was all built around trying to make a feeling go away or to instantly cure my fears. This is the very reason I got nowhere for many years until I finally realised that this is not how it works.
In my case, I had tried everything and realised that the answer was not going to come by trying to get rid of something. That to be free of something I had to go through the process of feeling it. I believe the blind alley I went down for so many years was a good thing, as it taught me to stop searching. That the answer lay within me and not with anyone or anything outside of me. That no one or no technique could fix me or get rid of anything.
Some people may find things too overwhelming to make such changes initially. So even if you just take small strides at first, then you are still progressing. Just stay committed to your goal, and decide from the pit of your stomach that you will do what is needed to regain your life.
That the freedom to live your life as you wish, to enjoy the things you used to do, is far more important than having to experience any uncomfortable feelings, feelings that will eventually die down and fade into nothing.
Never be thrown off by how you initially feel, see any uncomfortable feelings as a sign that you are changing your life, that you are growing and not as any sign of failure. Anything you initially feel is completely normal in the circumstances but is not permanent. The more you allow yourself to experience them, the more they will die down, the more you do, the more the fear response in your brain will be turned down.
The same advice applies to you also, it is your identification with these thoughts that cause the suffering. As you say they seem ridiculous, because they are and the true you knows this, yet you are falsely identifying with some random noise within your mind, you are not seeing them as just some random noise of no relevance, which most thoughts are. Why do we have them? Well when the mind is anxious/fearful it spouts out the energy that it feels, so when we feel fear or anxious, then the thoughts match the flavour how how we fee, the same energy is released in thoughts. The bottom line is they mean nothing and if you pull your identification from them without trying to suppress them in anyway, they will fall away. Nothing can survive without your belief, nothing you allow fully has the energy to continue. But when you see it as random noise in the mind, it truly has no effect on you anyway. Trust me I have been through this process, so this is not some concept I have made up.
To finish, do not ever avoid any triggers, they are a great way of releasing this stored up energy that is producing these random thoughts and as you know avoidance just completely restricts your life and causes more suffering.
I stopped reading up on anxiety, I stopped visiting this site, I went on holiday a few weeks ago and did I think about anxiety/depression (not one bit) the only thought I had was should I post on here and tell everyone that I feel like my old self again and I was so excited.
I suppose in a way I know this will pass, but any advice on what people think I must not do would help and I truly wanted to avoid getting coming back on here in my negative state. I am close to tears (again) something that had vanished 3 weeks ago.
In that way, love is more than a feeling. It is a commitment, an ever during work in progress. A continuous search for and with someone else. An everlasting work without true completion. Love is always on the move and it acquires dedication, empathy and compassion to build on it.
My wife was my rock through this experience. And it seems yours is too. When anxiety subsides you will feel love for your wife like you used to do again. Perhaps even more. It is easy to say that you are there for someone else in their darkest time, it is something completely different to actually do it. She and you did. You lucky devil ?
Paul, thank you so much work the effort you are making in helping people overcome anxiety. You mention elsewhere that the initial trigger is usually some kind of stress and then we step into the fear cycle which then keeps the anxiety alive or makes it worse.
7fc3f7cf58