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Friendshipis a relationship of mutual affection between people.[1] It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague.

In some cultures,[which?] the concept of friendship is restricted to a small number of very deep relationships; in others, such as the U.S. and Canada, a person could have many friends, and perhaps a more intense relationship with one or two people, who may be called good friends or best friends. Other colloquial terms include besties or Best Friends Forever (BFFs). Although there are many forms of friendship, certain features are common to many such bonds, such as choosing to be with one another, enjoying time spent together, and being able to engage in a positive and supportive role to one another.[2]

Sometimes friends are distinguished from family, as in the saying "friends and family", and sometimes from lovers (e.g., "lovers and friends"), although the line is blurred with friends with benefits. Similarly, being in the friend zone describes someone who is restricted from rising from the status of friend to that of lover (see also unrequited love).

Friendship has been studied in academic fields, such as communication, sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

Recent work on friendship in young children investigated the cues they use to infer friendship. Young children use cues such as sharing resources, like snacks,[7] and sharing secrets,[8] especially in older adolescents, to determine friendship status. When comparing cues of similarity in food preference or gender, propinquity, and loyalty in adolescent children, younger children rely on similarity in gender/food preferences but more so propinquity to infer friendship while older adolescents rely heavily on propinquity to infer friendship.[9]

As children mature, they become more reliant on others, as awareness grows. They gain the ability to empathize with their friends, and enjoy playing in groups. They also experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child to be better acclimated in society later on in their life.[5]

Friendships in childhood can assist in the development of certain skills, such as building empathy and learning different problem solving techniques.[10]Coaching from parents can help children make friends. Eileen Kennedy-Moore describes three key ingredients of children's friendship formation: (1) openness, (2) similarity, and (3) shared fun.[11] Parents can also help children understand social guidelines they have not learned on their own.[12] Drawing from research by Robert Selman[13] and others, Kennedy-Moore outlines developmental stages in children's friendship, reflecting an increasing capacity to understand others' perspectives: "I Want It My Way", "What's In It For Me?", "By the Rules", "Caring and Sharing", and "Friends Through Thick and Thin."[14]

A large study of American adolescents determined how their engagement in problematic behavior (such as stealing, fighting, and truancy) was related to their friendships. Findings indicated that adolescents who were less likely to engage in problematic behavior had friends who did well in school, participated in school activities, avoided drinking, and had good mental health. The opposite was true of adolescents who did engage in problematic behavior. Whether adolescents were influenced by their friends to engage in problem behavior depended on how much they were exposed to those friends, and whether they and their friendship groups "fit in" at school.[18]

Friendships formed during post-secondary education last longer than friendships formed earlier.[19] In late adolescence, cross-racial friendships tend to be uncommon, likely due to prejudice and cultural differences.[17]

Adults may find it particularly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships in the workplace. "The workplace can crackle with competition, so people learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues. Work friendships often take on a transactional feel; it is difficult to say where networking ends and real friendship begins."[21] Many adults value the financial well-being and security that their job provides more than developing friendships with coworkers.[22]

2,000 American adults surveyed had an average of two close friends, defined as "people they had 'discussed important matters' with in the past six months".[23] Numerous studies with adults suggest that friendships and other supportive relationships enhance self-esteem.[24]

Research within the past four decades has now consistently found that older adults reporting the highest levels of happiness and general well being also report strong, close ties to numerous friends.[27]

Given that friendships provide people with many mental, social, and health benefits,[31] people should want to associate with and form lasting relationships with people who can provide the benefits they need. Thus, people have specific friendship preferences for the types of behaviors and traits that are associated with these benefits.[32] Recent work on friendship preferences shows that while there is much overlap between men and women for the traits they prefer in close same-gender friends (e.g., being prioritized over other friends, friends with varied knowledge/skills), there are some differences: women compared to men had greater preference for emotional support, emotional disclosure, and emotional reassurance, while men compared to women had greater preference for friends that offer opportunities for accruing status, boosting their reputation, and will provide physical aid.[33]

Not all relationships have the same balance of each area. For example, women may prefer friendships that emphasize genuine positive regard and deeper self-disclosure, and men may prefer friendships with a little more agency.[36]

People with certain types of developmental disorders may struggle to make and maintain friendships. This is especially true of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),[37] autism spectrum disorders,[38] or children with Down syndrome.[39][40]

Studies found that strong social supports improve a person's prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, loneliness and a lack of social supports are linked to an increased risk of heart disease, viral infections, and cancer, as well as higher mortality rates overall. Researchers termed friendship networks a "behavioral vaccine" that boosts both physical and mental health.[41]

A large body of research links friendship and health, but the precise reasons for the connection remain unclear. Most studies in this area are large prospective studies that follow people over time, and while there may be a correlation between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still do not know if there is a cause and effect relationship (such as: good friendships improve health). Theories that attempt to explain this link include that good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; that good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services when needed; that good friends enhance their friends' coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and that good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.[42]

Having few or no friends is a common experience among those who are diagnosed with a range of mental disorders, and can be used as a telling factor.[16] A 2004 study from the American Journal of Public Health observed that lack of friendship plays a role in increasing risk of suicidal ideation among female adolescents, while also true for having more friends who are not themselves friends with one another. However, it is also suggested that no similar effect is observed for males.[43]

Having more close friends is correlated with improved mental health and cognitive ability. However, this association stops once around five friends is reached, after which having more friends is no longer linked to better mental health and is correlated with lower cognition. Additionally, people with few or many[compared to?] friends had more symptoms of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and were less able to learn from their experiences.[46]

Friendships may end. This is often the result of natural changes over time, as friends grow more distant both physically and emotionally, but it can also be the result of a sudden shock, such as learning that a friend holds incompatible values.[36]

Some social media influencers provide suggestions using therapy speak to break up with a friend.[47][48] These have been criticized for being impersonal and upsetting, partially because they often reduce a conversation to a 30-second soundbite-sized announcement.[47][48] Social media posts may also encourage confrontations akin to a workplace performance appraisal, in which one person tells a friend that they are dissatisfied and threatens to break off the relationship if the friend does not conform to their expectations.[36] The end of a friendship is often due to inappropriate expectations on the part of the dissatisfied person, and demanding that a friend meet those expectations is incompatible with friendship's voluntary qualities.[36] Another option would be for the dissatisfied person to look for another friend who can meet the unmet need.[36] For example, if someone is dissatisfied because a friend does not plan events, then that person could find a second friend, someone who enjoys planning events, instead of rejecting the first friend for not being able to single-handedly meet all of their needs.[36]

Women tend to be more expressive and intimate in their same-sex friendships and have fewer friends.[17] Men are more likely to define intimacy in terms of shared physical experiences. In contrast, women are more likely to define it in terms of shared emotional ones. Men are less likely to make emotional or personal disclosures to other men because the other man could use this information against them. However, they will disclose this information to women (as they are not in competition with them), and men tend to regard friendships with women as more meaningful, intimate, and pleasant. Male-male friendships are generally more like alliances, while female-female friendships are much more attachment-based. This also means that the end of male-male friendships tends to be less emotionally upsetting than that of female-female friendships.[51]

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