Who should be more grateful?
Steve & Laura Spinella
A long time ago in a distant state, I was walking the beach with a good friend I had traveled far to see. He confessed to me that he was jealous that I was in full-time ministry while he was self-employed. I remember thinking to myself, "But wait—you make 5 times as much as I do." Who should be more grateful?
When my kids were applying to Rice University, and I was applying for financial aid, I told our financial aid officer that, unfortunately, while I went to Rice, I had never made very much money. She said, “But you have used your life to serve others.” Who should be more grateful? (And to all the alumni donors etc., I say “Thank you!”)
Jesus once made the observation that the one who is forgiven much loves much. Perhaps when all was said and done, the prodigal son loved his father more than his older brother?
In my own experience, I can say that my gratitude has grown when my humility has grown, and that, ironically, humiliation is the cause for more gratitude!
As you might guess, all of this is provoked by my quirky reflections on the Thanksgiving holiday, not to mention the prayer letters about gratitude that tend to arrive in my inbox this week.
Of course, the “right” answer is that any of us who are looking forward to an undeserved eternity of bliss thanks to God’s love for us despite ourselves have the ultimate reason to be grateful.
All the same, I find my current experience of gratefulness tends to be more localized.
For instance, I recently had a friend who first woke up hanging upside down by his shoe from a tree branch, then subsequently came to on the ground a foot or so from a brick retaining wall and a further four foot drop. His current experience of gratitude seemed greatly enhanced by his calamity.
In my own life, I remember spinning around in a small Toyota on a country road, only to end up suspended on some vines between a telephone pole and a tree, driver’s side down. After climbing out the passenger’s door above me, I was so euphoric I think the police officer was a bit concerned. After a tow truck pulled the car out and changed a tire, I drove it home. Now that was a localized experience of gratitude! It is still vivid, even though it happened over 30 years ago.
So, yes, I am grateful, more than ever, both because of the good things I enjoy, but also because of the calamities (and self-imposed wounds!) I have survived. If experiences bring more happiness than things, then I would like to add that relationships bring more happiness than experiences, and forgiveness, forbearance, and longsuffering are gifts that never go out of style.
Perhaps gratitude is better than cynicism, and life is better than death, both in this world and what is yet to come. May you find a peace that goes beyond understanding, and may I find it also.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Steve and Laura