64 and 40: forgiveness

[Steve & Laura Spinella]

I'm over 64 now, and married for 40 of those years. I've known Laura for over two thirds of my life! Thank you, Laura! On our fortieth we were out riding bikes and stopped alongside a group of riders to borrow a pump. When they heard it was our 40th, one asked "what's your advice?"

What would you say? I figured I had about one word of attention, and I blurted out, "Forgiveness." They didn't ask any more questions. I guess that said it all! Practically, over forty years of marriage, all my besetting sins have inserted themselves in our relationship at some point, some right away, others along the way. This is all the more true when one of us, or worse, both of us, are tired, frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed.

The same is true for international ministry. If we think we're going to add a lot of stress to our lives living someplace we otherwise wouldn't for God's sake and always be on our best behavior, we should think again! I'm guessing any relationship strong enough to carry God's message of reconciliation is going to involve people finding out we're sinners ourselves, and hence our need for this gospel. Do we need to sin more to make this point? No, this is not my problem and I don't think it's yours either :-).

So as you might guess, reaching 64 and 40 means reflecting on a lot of regrets in life, marriage, and ministry, as well as a lot of fonder memories. I don't know about you, but I seem to remember the regrets more easily. Maybe I should have said "redemption" instead of "forgiveness?" Real forgiveness means someone has given up the right to pay the first person back, evil for evil. Real forgiveness always costs something. Redemption reclaims something that has been ruined.

When two people get married, they have at least two problems--neither of them are perfect, and they don't communicate perfectly either. (Or is that four problems?!) That means someone needs to make up what's lacking. In my way of thinking, that someone is God, who loves us first.

I'm guessing the same things are true in ministry on God's behalf--we're not perfect and we don't communicate perfectly either. Adding language and cultural differences to that mix does not improve it.

So why do it? It's a grand adventure! It's the chance to be part of something bigger than ourselves. It's a lot of risk, with occasional miraculous payoffs, some of which we even get to see. I'm talking about marriage. I'm talking about ministry. I'm talking about raising kids. (They're all over 30 now!) I'm even talking about friendship.

When I was younger, I thought things would get easier. I'm sure some of them have, but things have also gotten more complicated! Here's to more adventure, in life, marriage, ministry, friendship, and all the rest.

In the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS We haven't gotten on an airplane since early March, but we're using our backyard, front porch, masks, and virtual connections to come alongside others imperfectly, but persistently.  Today someone asked me if this would ever end. I said, "I don't know, but I'm glad it hasn't always been this way!" Perhaps that just shows we're both old :-).

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spin...@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauras...@gmail.com>