Oh My Baby Boy I Love You

[Jan Dominquez]

Whena lovely young colleague of mine announced that she was expecting, of course, I was keen to make her a quilt for her new arrival. Having a baby is, after all, a very special life event. When I was thinking about the design of the quilt I wanted it to represent something special about Mother and Child. I thought about the child in utero and the love a mother has for her baby and that was how I came up with the idea of the heart inside a heart. The small baby heart to represent the baby, wrapped in the big heart of her Mother.

When it comes time to leave your baby with your MIL, you may feel heartbroken, or not. Make room for the possibility that it may not be as heart-rending as you think. True, I have yet to meet a woman who leaves her baby for the first time with nary a care in the world, and true, you will take on responsibilities and fatigue you have never known. But you may not be as miserable as you think.

But as you have seen with your niece, when the mom comes around, we have to remember where the attachment instincts are at that moment: with your MIL. So even though you are the best mom who has ever walked the Earth, your baby is attached to your MIL, and it takes a minute for her to re-acclimate to you. There has to be a reversal of her attachment instincts at that moment.

All of this is to say that you should go forth and parent confidently. I spent a good amount of time with my grandmother (Mom Mom) growing up, and I was her angel. My mom could have seen this as competition, but instead she was grateful and loved that my Mom Mom and I were close. My mom knew that more love for children is good. So, as your baby grows, know that allowing your mother-in-law to help raise her grandchild is a gift to every generation.

Find this over on The Washington Post.Tagged:attachmentbabies and attachmentbreast pumpchild care woesleahy parentingmaternity leavemeghan leahyon parentingpaid leaveparentingparenting adviceparenting columnwashington post parentingwhat childcare is bestworking with a new baby

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I am not a frequent user of heavy duty lip products. The main reason is I'm not very good at applying them or navigating life when they are on -- the other day I got deep red lipstick all over a new cashmere sweater because I accidentally brushed it on the lip of a mug of coffee I was drinking. Due to this lipstick-ineptitude, I am always drawn to (and use more often) lighter and sheerer lip products like balms and glosses.

Because these types of products are for lightweights, I also don't tend to see that many reviews of them online -- at least, it is difficult to find the same amount and depth of reviews on comparisons between Kiehl's and Glossier's tube balms as there are on Too Faced vs. Tarte's matte liquid lipsticks. Consequently, each week I'll be discussing and comparing two light or sheer lip products (sometimes products more 'makeup-y' and sometimes products more 'skincare-y') until I run out of the ones I have on hand.

Today I'm comparing Lipstick Queen's Medieval and Balmyard Beauty's Baby Love Balm. I decided to focus on these two due to a recent push in marketing on Instagram by goop (cringe! cringe!) for the Baby Love Balm and positive press on Into the Gloss for Medieval.

Let's start with Lipstick Queen's Medieval. In this vaguely intense video, which I definitely thought was a Monty Python-esque parody or spoof of some kind, they position Medieval as a 'universal' red that 'looks good on everyone!'.

During medieval times, when lipstick was considered a sin, women used the natural acidity of lemons to bring forth a natural blood-red stain on their lips. This flattering look has been recreated by Poppy in this best-selling tint. Medieval is purely Vitamin E and pigment, making it silky to wear and divinely transparent. And best of all it makes your skin look flawless. (Lipstick Queen)

(As I've said before, I'm a sucker for a story, so I definitely appreciated this description and was definitely influenced by it, even though the thought of being a woman during Medieval times is DEFINITELY not romantic.) ?

Fundamentally. I really appreciate balms 'formatted' like a regular lipstick. It's much less of a hassle to apply when you are on the go, and the taper makes it easier to fill out your cupid's bow and 'line' things more accurately (though I'm never any good at this anyway). The packaging has a nice heft to it and feels durable -- the bullet does not feel like it's going to snap or come disconnected from the base (ahem, looking at you Glossier Generation G). It also has a nice overlap ratio of top cap to bullet, making it feel like it's unlikely this will uncap in your purse, giving a new meaning to 'universal' red.

This is one of the most moisturizing tinted balms I've tried. It feels very hydrating and rich (see texture note above) and my lips feel better after wearing it. Ingredient-wise, there are a lot of oils, some more moisturizing than others (i.e. castor oil vs. shea butter) but for me it works out.

Here is where this product disappoints me. It's supposed to give a nice 'natural blood-red stain', but on me the color seems more... florescent. I achieve optimal color when I apply it and let it sit for a little bit and then blot it off, which isn't the most convenient way to apply a lip product.

As to Lipstick Queen's claim this will 'make your skin look flawless'? I think no matter how this color this goes on, that's BS. I mean, maybe your teeth? If this has a blue undertone? I also think the pigment doesn't go on that evenly. I read a review on Makeup Alley that you should 'dot' it on your lips instead of smearing (like you would classical lipstick) so I'll give that a try. But again, if you have to do a special technique, that makes it more difficult to apply on the go which negates the benefits of the tube applicator.

No SPF. I can't see how this would 'layer' well over other things, and it's too pigmented to be an overnight treatment. It's a little too slick to serve as a base layer. It is moisturizing, however, so that gets a point.

Consensus: Despite the shade issues, I like this product. I'm still learning how to apply a little (which gives me the color I like) without a mirror (which gives me the convenience I like) but the fact that I don't have to get my finger dirty to put this on is a definitely advantage. I wear this about once a week -- it's a solid part of my makeup roster, but not an HG or can't-live-without.

Let's move to Balmyard Beauty's Baby Love Balm. I really dislike Goop and Gwyneth Paltrow, so I really hate myself for buying this after seeing a Goop ad on Instagram. But I did buy it off the Balmyard website, so there is that. Also, the Balmyard brand seems a little appropriative (it's one of those 'we went to an exotic place and took their magical secrets and refined them!') but they do say on their website that proceeds from the brand go back to Jamaican community organizations. They don't specify how much, however...

I was lured to this balm by its description as the "ultimate lip stain" that gives a "just-bitten" or "just-in-from-the-cold-pink". Gah oh my god how could I resist? Some people might like the fact that it has a coconut oil base and 'natural' coloring, but that wasn't a decider for me -- I am definitely into 'un-clean' beauty. (Everything is chemicals! Organic means nothing! I don't care! Give me all the GMOs! The more toxic the better!??????)

Nooooooo why does this have to be in a jar???? I understand the consistency might not work for a stick (especially bc it has a lot of coconut oil it in, maybe it would melt) but what about a squeeze-tube like the Jack Black balms? Would the coconut oil be too solid for this? The jar forces you to use your finger (or a brush I guess if you are an amazing magical makeup expert) which is annoying but an added extra negative is that this is VERY pigmented so once you've put it on your lips it's difficult to get rid of the rest. You can't massage it into your cuticles like a Glossier or Kiehl's, and you really wouldn't want to wipe it on a pair of jeans, even if you hate those jeans. It'll definitely stain! It even stains your finger, even after washing! So this is a major bummer.

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