HAVANA—One of America's richest socialists, Bernie Sanders, arrived in
Havana today after learning there was an uprising against the
Communist regime. While many have been voicing their support for the
protesters fighting for freedom, Sanders instead tried to quell the
protests, informing the demonstrators that they have some of the best
healthcare, housing, and other social programs in the world.
"Please disperse! You have excellent healthcare and housing programs!"
Sanders cried through a megaphone in an attempt to calm things down.
"Not everything was bad about the Communist revolution. Fidel Castro,
OK, he wasn't perfect, but there were very good people on both sides!"
One man read the sign Sanders was reading, which said, "Demand more
communism now!", and got upset. "Communism has led to death and
destruction here in Cuba, old man!" he shouted.
Sanders then pointed out that the amazing literacy programs of Castro
were actually what helped the man read the sign: "See, though, the
only reason you're able to read this sign is because of the literacy
programs of the regime, which are some of the best in the world. You
should be more grateful, hermano!"
At publishing time, Sanders had flown back to America to close on his
fourth house "to demonstrate how capitalism can lead to excess and
debauchery."
Fine satire from:
https://babylonbee.com/news/bernie-sanders-heads-to-cuba-to-inform-protesters-they-have-the-best-healthcare-housing-programs-in-the-world