Face to face with a secularist

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Logos

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Dec 15, 2005, 10:07:50 PM12/15/05
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I came face to face with a secularist today.

It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.

I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee places.
You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
on top then they can mark it up 400%.

As I'm walking towards the place, I spotted him: the secularist. With his
well-coiffed hair and urbane mien. His Brooks Bros overcoat and Euro
coiffure. The way he shiftily eyed his surroundings, ever conscious of the
perceived encroachment of religion and decency around him. The hedonistic
way he chattered into his $300 cell phone about his investments in
eco-friendly, liberal conglomerates and his visits to his doctor regarding
his lactose intolerancy. His gay brother and his transsexual daughter. His
hatred of our President and Vice-President oozing from his pours. The way
he replaced his socially unacceptable smoking addiction with an addiction to
a triple grande mocha chai with steam. The way he deftly manouvered from
one politically correct phrase to another. All this I could sense in him in
the first second I spotted him. And he hated G_d.

So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way. At first he thought I was
trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again. He
looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses. I peered into
his eyes. In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his plans
for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas. I felt
a pang of profound despair.

He asked me what my deal was. I told him he was. He said what do you mean.
I just snickered at him and walked off. Demolishing him would have been too
easy.

Brett Aubrey

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Dec 16, 2005, 12:37:39 AM12/16/05
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"Logos" <sd...@sds.sds> wrote in message
news:e6qdncwaTewWsj_e...@adelphia.com...

> I came face to face with a secularist today.
>
> It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.
>
> I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
> which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee
places.
> You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
> Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
> on top then they can mark it up 400%.
>
> As I'm walking towards the place, I spotted him: the secularist. With his
> well-coiffed hair and urbane mien. His Brooks Bros overcoat and Euro
> coiffure. The way he shiftily eyed his surroundings, ever conscious of
the
> perceived encroachment of religion and decency around him. The hedonistic
> way he chattered into his $300 cell phone about his investments in
> eco-friendly,

Oh my G_d! Not eco-friendly (Gasp!!).

<snip unread>

unrestra...@hotmail.com

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Dec 16, 2005, 12:53:25 AM12/16/05
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So, you could tell all that by looking at him? A well dressed man with
an overpriced coffee, and you read the other stuff in him? Then claim
you stood face to face and babbled accusations of Satanism and material
secularistic communism and GunderscoreD knows what-all? You even "knew"
the perversions of his family?

I'm guessing that you saw this fella while waiting for the bus at the
mall. You then spent the next several hours fantasizing about his
perversions and hateful political beliefs, daydreamed about your
"demolishing" him, then typed it up and sent this post off. Only four
hours or so of your life spent wallowing in this pathetic fantasy. How
close am I?

Kermit

Thurisaz the Einherjer

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Dec 16, 2005, 1:57:56 AM12/16/05
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'nuff said.

--
Romans 2:24 revised:
"For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you
cretinists, as it is written on aig."

Beagle

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Dec 16, 2005, 3:01:17 AM12/16/05
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Logos wrote:
> I came face to face with a secularist today.
....

>
> So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way. At first he thought I was
> trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again.

As a rude, irrational nutjob would. People like you make modern urban
life that little bit worse for normal people, Nashie. Assuming, of
course, that any of this is remotely true.

But if you're going to make these little sketches up, why not be a bit
more entertaining? You know, returning a dead parrot to a 'boutique'
and claiming it couldn't possibly evolved from bleedin' dinosaurs...

A.Carlson

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Dec 16, 2005, 3:14:36 AM12/16/05
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On Thu, 15 Dec 2005 22:07:50 -0500, "Logos" <sd...@sds.sds> wrote:

>I came face to face with a secularist today.
>
>It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.
>
>I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
>which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee places.
>You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
>Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
>on top then they can mark it up 400%.

Blatantly obvious lie number 1! I'm not much for 'pretentious'
coffee, but I don't doubt for a minute that you can't pass a 'plain
old cup of coffee' as such and stay in business, particularly a
business that specializes in coffee! (I'm from Seattle, I should
know!)

>As I'm walking towards the place, I spotted him: the secularist. With his
>well-coiffed hair and urbane mien. His Brooks Bros overcoat and Euro
>coiffure.

Sounds more like your typical televangelist!

>The way he shiftily eyed his surroundings, ever conscious of the
>perceived encroachment of religion and decency around him.

Still sounds like a televangelist! They sure don't tolerate any other
religious competition on their own turf.

>The hedonistic
>way he chattered into his $300 cell phone about his investments in
>eco-friendly, liberal conglomerates and his visits to his doctor regarding
>his lactose intolerancy. His gay brother and his transsexual daughter. His
>hatred of our President and Vice-President oozing from his pours. The way
>he replaced his socially unacceptable smoking addiction with an addiction to
>a triple grande mocha chai with steam.

That's what you call a 'plain old cup of coffee'?!?!?!?!?

>The way he deftly manouvered from
>one politically correct phrase to another. All this I could sense in him in
>the first second I spotted him. And he hated G_d.

My my, aren't we being judgmental? Doesn't your holly babble say
something about that?

>So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way.

How arrogant can you get? Do you really think the world evolves
around you and your religion? I figure you probably think it should!

>At first he thought I was
>trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again.

So, explain now how this isn't harassment?

>He
>looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses. I peered into
>his eyes. In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his plans
>for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas. I felt
>a pang of profound despair.

And he confirmed this how?

>He asked me what my deal was. I told him he was. He said what do you mean.
>I just snickered at him and walked off. Demolishing him would have been too
>easy.

Yes, as easy as writing clear and concise story lines that don't come
off as being extremely patronizing twisted rants of a religious
fanatic.

Sanity's little helper

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Dec 16, 2005, 3:23:15 AM12/16/05
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On Fri, 16 Dec 2005 00:14:36 -0800, A.Carlson wrote:

> Do you really think the world evolves
> around you and your religion?

Freudian slip?

--
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow, we eat, drink and be merry.

D Silverman FLAHN, SMLAHN

AA #2208

Smurfette

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Dec 16, 2005, 5:30:37 AM12/16/05
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> "Logos" <sd...@sds.sds> wrote in message
> news:e6qdncwaTewWsj_e...@adelphia.com...

> So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way. At first he thought I

> was
> trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again. He
> looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses. I peered into
> his eyes. In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his
> plans
> for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas. I
> felt
> a pang of profound despair.
>

If you'd tried that on me you'd have felt *my knee in your groin*, you
fucking fruitcake.

Mich.

Murf

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Dec 16, 2005, 6:01:40 AM12/16/05
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Logos - do you have any shread of decency or honesty?

Smurfette

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Dec 16, 2005, 6:07:18 AM12/16/05
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"Beagle" <davidl...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1134720077.598392.326350@f14g2000cwb.

>
> But if you're going to make these little sketches up, why not be a bit
> more entertaining? You know, returning a dead parrot to a 'boutique'
> and claiming it couldn't possibly evolved from bleedin' dinosaurs...
>

Customer: Hello. I wish to complain about this so-called 'scientific theory'
what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very establishment.

Salesman: Oh yes, 'Intelligent Design'. What, uh... what's wrong with it?

Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. Its vacuous, that's
what's wrong with it!

Salesman: No, no, uh... what we need now is to 'teach the controversy'...

Customer: Look matey, I know an empty 'argument from incredulity' when I see
one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Salesman: No, no, it's not empty: it's just being elaborated. Remarkable
theory, 'Intelligent Design', innit, eh? I mean, just look at all these
books and articles: millions and millions of words...!

Customer: The verbiage don't enter into it, my lad. It's stone dead. It's a
non-starter. Empirically untestable, it belongs in metaphysics. This
'theory' makes no predictions; has no contribution to make beyond extended
polemics; and can't even be honest about who it thinks the 'Designer' was.
Bereft of all logical and epistemological credibility, it has no scientific
status! If certain right-wing and fundamentalist pressure-groups hadn't hit
upon it as a way of opposing decades of uncomfortable scientific and social
progress, it'd be pushing up daisies! It's off the table. It's kicked the
waste-paper bucket. THIS IS A NON-THEORY!

Salesman: Well, I'd better replace it then. [takes a quick peek around]
Sorry,
squire: looks like that's all we've got...

Customer: I see, I see. I get the picture.

Salesman: I've got a piece of coal that looks quite a bit like a human
tibia, if you squint at it...

Customer: Pray, is it part of a theory that unifies the paleontological and
biological sciences and leads to a powerful understanding of observed
homologies and the nested hierarchy of life?

Salesman: Not really.

Customer: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT FOR DARWINISM THEN, IS IT?

----------

Mich.

Shane

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Dec 16, 2005, 7:13:46 AM12/16/05
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On Thu, 15 Dec 2005 22:07:50 -0500, Logos wrote:

> His
> hatred of our President and Vice-President oozing from his pours.

Pour guy, apparently he hade no pause to ooze from. Let us pores to
reflect how well designed is the human poor, that causes sweat to paw
when approached by a wacko.

Pores-etively, a-pore-ling writing there Logos.

--
Shane
The truth will set you free..

Kleuskes & Moos

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Dec 16, 2005, 6:34:29 AM12/16/05
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Murf schreef:

> Logos - do you have any shread of decency or honesty?

Nope. But he's got a lot of fantasy to make up for it. Sadly his
writing skills are WAY below standard.

ErikW

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Dec 16, 2005, 6:50:36 AM12/16/05
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This stinks.

Cop story pwns yu^^.

Iain

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Dec 16, 2005, 6:53:36 AM12/16/05
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Logos wrote:
> I came face to face with a secularist today.
>
> It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.
>
> I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
> which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee places.
> You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
> Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
> on top then they can mark it up 400%.
<snip>


I say, old chap, you used 11 words of French origin in your post.

What is a Cafe au Lait the gentleman in question ordered? This is the
mark of a secularist and no mistake. They mostly gather in places like
Colchester.

I once went into a similar establishment, and asked for a pot of
Lapsang Souchong, a cup and saucer and some toast with Gentleman's
Relish, and was arrested on suspicion of associating with a Mr. Al
Kider.

Yours, ever languid,
~I.J.

ErikW

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Dec 16, 2005, 6:53:43 AM12/16/05
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Kleuskes & Moos

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Dec 16, 2005, 7:29:22 AM12/16/05
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Logos schreef:


Ok. Lets critique this piece of lecture.


> I came face to face with a secularist today.

Mwoh.. Not bad.

> It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.

So far, so good, only these two remarks doe not deserve seperate
paragraphs. Make it a single paragraph, so you'll keep some 'speed' in
the storyline.


> I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
> which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee places.

Given the content of the story, this is irrelevant. Nobody wants to
know where you came from. You make yourself the main part of the story,
which _sounds_ rather egocentrical. After all You don't play any role
of substance in your story, it's the 'secularist' you want to trash,
remember?

> You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,

Tsk, tsk, tsk... Coffee isn't hyphenated.

> Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
> on top then they can mark it up 400%.

French aren't really big in coffee. Try Italianized. If you want to
harp on anti-european sentiments, at least get the country right. Also,
concentrate on the main theme and loose superfluous detail. Prices at
coffeeshops isn't. Good writers are marksman, one shot, one hit. You
employ the buckshot tactics of an amateur.

> As I'm walking towards the place, I spotted him: the secularist.

There's a lot wrong with that sentence.

A few paragraphs back, you said you were walking towards your car. Also
you have expressed a distaste for that place, so you walking towards
it, stretches credibility. Also, nobody can 'spot a anything-ist' by
merely looking at him.


> With his well-coiffed hair and urbane mien.

Mien? From the german 'Miene'? Also 'well coiffed' isn't an attribute
of secularists.

> His Brooks Bros overcoat and Euro coiffure.

That belongs with the sentence above, as a summation. Also, there are
credibility issues, here. You come from a hardware store, have a
distinct distaste of anything not your style and youe xpect anyone to
believe you can spot a clothes brand at a glance? No way.

Moreover, you repeat yourself on the coifure, and (implicitly) pay
europeans a big compliment for having fine barbers, which (probably)
isn't what you set out to do. Besides, since you're dissing him, the
reader will imagine you in a contrast: a badly dressed provincial git
with a bad hairdo.

> The way he shiftily eyed his surroundings, ever conscious of the
> perceived encroachment of religion and decency around him.

Credibility, again. I've told you this before, if you are writing
fiction, keep it credible. You now expect your audience to believe you
can read minds by looking at people or assume you are a prejudiced,
frustrated moron who's projecting.

> The hedonistic way he chattered into his $300 cell phone

Tsk, tsk, tsk... That's not a very expensive one, is it. So
'hedonistic' does not reflect on your subject, but on yourself.

> about his investments in eco-friendly, liberal conglomerates and his visits to his doctor regarding
> his lactose intolerancy.

Implicitly, you are now saying you are eavesdropping. Not nice.
Remember, the point ofthe exercise is to dis you subject, not yourself.
Sofar you've only succeeded in making yourself look like a provincial,
prejudiced git who'se eavesdropping and _still walks into a coffeeshop
which he detests, since otherwise you could never have heard that.

> His gay brother and his transsexual daughter.

That, again, belongs with the summation in the last sentence. Besides,
you're overdoing it again. All the subjects mentioned imply you were
listening for quite some time (nobody mentions all those subjects in
any conversation fast enough to be overheard by someone walking from a
hardware store to his car. So you _must_ have walked into that
coffeeshop( which you detest and did not set out to do), portraying
yourself as an obsessed character. This isn't wwaht you want. You
merely want to dis the _real_ subject, which you portray as a
well-groomed, tolerant guy with a good job and money to spend, making
yourself (by contrast, and that's what your story is all about "me vs.
him") as a low-income bum with sloppy clothes and a problem with
tolerance.

> His hatred of our President and Vice-President oozing from his pours.

Political preferences don't ooze from pores. Besides, you fail to
mention how you noticed or what his political preference has to do with
the story-line, which, by the way, now places you eavesdropping and
all, inside the coffeeshop you detest, since otherwise, you'd nevr be
able to hear a word he said on the phone.

> The way he replaced his socially unacceptable smoking addiction with an addiction to
> a triple grande mocha chai with steam.

Same thing again. Any smoker will tell you you don't replace a smoking
habit by anything, let alone a triple grande mocha chai with steam.
Your knowledge about the coffee server also implies you have more than
a passing knowledge of the menu of that coffeeshop, which is too much
of a contrast with your distaste expressed earlier.

> The way he deftly manouvered from one politically correct phrase to another.

So walking from a hardware store to your car you managed to pick all
_that_ up? There's a credibility problem for you. The only way this is
crdible is if your 'I'-character is an obsessive-compulsive
eaves-dropper. So basically you are now (implicitly) dissing the wrong
character and making the _real_ subject of your story look as his
innocent victim.

If that's what you set out to do, you do so _very_ subtly, i must
admit.

> All this I could sense in him in the first second I spotted him. And he hated G_d.

Ah... Now i see. Subtle... Compliments. Yes, a very subtle way to
portray a narrowminded, obsessive, bigotted looser, frustrated by
another persons obvious success in life. Reminds me of 'The Catcher in
the Rye', which employs the same kind of technique. Not that good,
though...

Some 'monologue interieure' would probably help you. But...
Compliments, you brought it very subtly.

> So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way. At first he thought I was
> trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again.

Good, you elaborate on the obsessive traits of the 'I-character'.

> He looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses.

Again, mentioning the Dior glasses is a nice touch to emphasize your
'I-characters' frustrations
in life.

Nice.

> I peered into his eyes. In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his plans
> for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas.

Now you're overdoing it...

> I felt a pang of profound despair.

Nah.... You were doing _so_ well.

> He asked me what my deal was. I told him he was. He said what do you mean.
> I just snickered at him and walked off.

Try a little dialoge, like this

""What's you deal", he asked.
" You are." I responded, peering him into the eye and walked off.

> Demolishing him would have been too easy.

Hmmm... No. You lead up to something with your portrayal of a
frustrated, bigotted looser. Your audience expects some kind of
dramatic climax, like whipping out a gun and killing him. That would
have lent some _point_ to your story. Now it's really going nowhere.

Ok, you get a C+ for your portrayal of the I-charachter, which really
_is_ quite subtle, but your story does lack a good ending, and has
quite a few credibility problems. However frustrated, he shows too much
knowledge and all the 'talking on the phone' stuff is just not
possible. Try to make it more clear that your 'I-character' is really
just imagining it and don't overdo it. Hence no B, let alone an A, but
you're progressing.

Work on the credibility, though.

zawa...@yahoo.com

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Dec 16, 2005, 7:52:50 AM12/16/05
to

Logos wrote:
> I came face to face with a secularist today.
>
> It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.
>
> I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
> which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee places.
> You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
> Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
> on top then they can mark it up 400%.
>
> As I'm walking towards the place, I spotted him: the secularist. With his
> well-coiffed hair and urbane mien. His Brooks Bros overcoat and Euro
> coiffure. The way he shiftily eyed his surroundings, ever conscious of the
> perceived encroachment of religion and decency around him. The hedonistic
> way he chattered into his $300 cell phone about his investments in
> eco-friendly, liberal conglomerates and his visits to his doctor regarding
> his lactose intolerancy.

I thougth secularists were down and out drug addicts and only the
"Christians" had the cash for 30,000 sq. ft. homes.

> hatred of our President and Vice-President oozing from his pours. The way

Maybe your president. And it is spelled "pores". "pours" is something
the barrista is doing to the latte.

> he replaced his socially unacceptable smoking addiction with an addiction to
> a triple grande mocha chai with steam.

No second hand smoke with lattes


>
> So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way. At first he thought I was
> trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again. He
> looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses. I peered into
> his eyes. In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his plans
> for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas. I felt
> a pang of profound despair.
>

Paranoid schizoprenia with delusions of telepathy ?


> He asked me what my deal was. I told him he was. He said what do you mean.
> I just snickered at him and walked off. Demolishing him would have been too
> easy.

Continued ...
"Later the police showed up at my door with a strait-jacket. Now I am
regularly taking my anti-psychotic meds and no longer think I am
hearing other's thoughts"

Gordon Hill

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Dec 16, 2005, 7:55:21 AM12/16/05
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The video clip on the 700 Club showed it was Pat Robertson on his way
to meet with Jerry Falwell.

All the best, GH

zawa...@yahoo.com

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Dec 16, 2005, 7:58:38 AM12/16/05
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Logos wrote:
>well-coiffed
So you ran into Jimmy Swaggart ?

zawa...@yahoo.com

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Dec 16, 2005, 7:58:41 AM12/16/05
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Shane

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Dec 16, 2005, 10:15:50 AM12/16/05
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On Thu, 15 Dec 2005 22:07:50 -0500, Logos wrote:

[...]

Lets examine the contrast between a creationist and a secularist.

> So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way.

Yep, that's the godly way, I doubt there are too many on this forum
surprised by that behaviour. Lets now see the reaction from the one with
"no moral standards."

> At first he thought I was
> trying to pass so he stepped aside.

Stepped aside, hey, how secualrly rude of him, fancy him trying to show
you up by being more poilte than you.

> I stepped in front of him again.

You just can't stop the godliness oozing from the pours[sic] of some
people can you?

> He
> looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses.

Yeah, now that is a secularist move if I ever heard of one, no wonder
these secularists are so easy to spot. They show quite a contrast from
the creationist.

> I peered into
> his eyes.

Staring is normally considered rude, so score another one where the
secularist beats the creationist for politeness.

> In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his plans
> for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas. I felt
> a pang of profound despair.

But wait, the encounter is not over yet, the secularist is going to
unleash the famous uncontrolled tongue, spoken of so eloquently in the
bible.



> He asked me what my deal was.

A very well known skit by Derek and Clive (Peter Cook and Dudley Moore)
springs to mind here. Fancy that secularist asking the boorish^H^H^H^H^H
nice creationist a provocative question like that.

[...]

Geoff

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Dec 16, 2005, 9:31:04 AM12/16/05
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"A.Carlson" <amc...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:n2t4q1pfrq0grkous...@4ax.com...

> On Thu, 15 Dec 2005 22:07:50 -0500, "Logos" <sd...@sds.sds> wrote:

>>I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
>>which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee
>>places.
>>You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
>>Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
>>on top then they can mark it up 400%.
>
> Blatantly obvious lie number 1! I'm not much for 'pretentious'
> coffee, but I don't doubt for a minute that you can't pass a 'plain
> old cup of coffee' as such and stay in business, particularly a
> business that specializes in coffee! (I'm from Seattle, I should
> know!)

The greater sin is the Robusta crap that they sell in most quickie
marts and fast food joints for $1 a cup.


Geoff

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Dec 16, 2005, 9:31:35 AM12/16/05
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<zawa...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1134737921.6...@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

>
> Logos wrote:
>>well-coiffed
> So you ran into Jimmy Swaggart ?

Twice no less!


John Bode

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Dec 16, 2005, 9:35:16 AM12/16/05
to

Effing. BRILLIANT.

I am *so* stealing this.

Gordon Hill

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Dec 16, 2005, 9:37:57 AM12/16/05
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Logos has posted and left cyberspace once more.

What is his plan?

Just wondering, GH

Geoff

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Dec 16, 2005, 9:39:30 AM12/16/05
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"Kleuskes & Moos" <kle...@xs4all.nl> wrote in message
news:1134736162.4...@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

>
> Logos schreef:
>
> Ok. Lets critique this piece of lecture.

[...]

Excellent critique. You are right. The story is not credible. It reads more
like a fantasy. He probably conjures up these little encounters that he
describes in his head during auto-erotic asphyxiation and then writes them
down feverishly after he bites the lemon.


Therion Ware

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Dec 16, 2005, 10:25:29 AM12/16/05
to

On 16 Dec 2005 06:35:16 -0800 in talk.origins, John Bode ("John Bode"
<john...@my-deja.com>) said, directing the reply to talk.origins

"Me too". (c) AOL 4004 BC

Lilith (Deanne Taylor)

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Dec 16, 2005, 11:07:21 AM12/16/05
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You owe me a new keyboard.

Thanks for that. :)

Someone better followup-nominate this one for POTM with me.

Lilith (Deanne Taylor)

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Dec 16, 2005, 11:17:55 AM12/16/05
to
Polite, drinking coffee, snazzy dresser, intelligent, clearly
successful, good taste, secularlist. Mmmm.

Some of the women out here in cyberspace want to know if he was hot,
though. Was he wearing a nice aftershave?

Men like that don't grow on trees!

Steven Sullivan

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Dec 16, 2005, 11:27:17 AM12/16/05
to
I met Logos on the street today. I threw a fin into his cup,
amde sure he knew where there nearest shelter was, and bid him a
happy Festivus.


--
-S
"The most appealing intuitive argument for atheism is the mindblowing stupidity of religious
fundamentalists." -- Ginger Yellow

Phil Roberts

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Dec 16, 2005, 11:41:16 AM12/16/05
to
Thurisaz the Einherjer <MAILTOc...@carcosa.de> wrote in news:dntohk$4ad
$3...@online.de:

> 'nuff said.
>

Well no, not really. As I have no idea what thread you are referring to. Of
course with so many psychotics posting at the moment I can pretty much take
my pick. :p


--

wade

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Dec 16, 2005, 11:56:23 AM12/16/05
to

Logos wrote:
> I came face to face with a secularist today.
>
> It happened about 2:00 in the afternoon.

So it wasn't a dark and stormy night? Hmmm.

> I was coming out of the hardware store, walking down the street to my car,
> which was parked in front of one of those pretentious little coffee places.
> You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
> Frenchified name to a plain old cup of coffee with a plop of whipped cream
> on top then they can mark it up 400%.

I remember all the details because otherwise I would have had to
focus on the blonde walking into Vicky's secret. But with legs
that long and a skirt that short the secret wasn't ment to be
kept for long.

> As I'm walking towards the place, I spotted him: the secularist. With his
> well-coiffed hair and urbane mien. His Brooks Bros overcoat and Euro
> coiffure. The way he shiftily eyed his surroundings, ever conscious of the
> perceived encroachment of religion and decency around him. The hedonistic
> way he chattered into his $300 cell phone about his investments in
> eco-friendly, liberal conglomerates and his visits to his doctor regarding

> his lactose intolerancy. His gay brother and his transsexual daughter.

Of course I'd met his brother before and even though it was dark in
the bathhouse I could still make out the family resemblence.
The daughter's a whole nuther story but I assure you the charges
were all dropped nearly as fast as I had run away when I discovered
she wasn't actually a scared and lost little boy.

> His


> hatred of our President and Vice-President oozing from his pours. The way

> he replaced his socially unacceptable smoking addiction with an addiction to
> a triple grande mocha chai with steam.

<aside: what? no soy? >

>The way he deftly manouvered from

> one politically correct phrase to another. All this I could sense in him in


> the first second I spotted him. And he hated G_d.

That's right, He hated Guarenteed Overnight Delivery. Because it was
an actual dark and stormy night when one of their trucks shed one of
their cheap retread tires just as it was passing his wife on the
highway.
The flying scrap of tire launched out like possessed piece of shrapnel,
wrapping itself around the drivers side tire of the car and forcing it
to
skid off the pavement, over the bridge, into the river and a cold
watery
premature grave.

> So I walked straight up to him. Got in his way. At first he thought I was
> trying to pass so he stepped aside. I stepped in front of him again. He
> looked up from the phone and peered over his Dior glasses. I peered into
> his eyes. In that split second, I saw into his empty soul, sensed his plans


> for a liberal world hegemony, his ambitions to eradicate Christmas. I felt
> a pang of profound despair.

That's right, even after a life filled with hard knocks and the tragic
loss
of his wife he still managed to get out of bed in the morning with
something other than hate for his fellow man. Me, I'm just a cheap
hack scared to wander more than 4 blocks from the house where
I live with my mother, except when the demons take hold and send
me sulking into the night to the bath house or seeking runaways
at the bus stop.

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/dark.htm

Keep practising logos, but do it somewhere else.

Gordon Hill

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Dec 16, 2005, 12:39:51 PM12/16/05
to
They don't even climb them, but their ancestors did.

All the best, GH

Beagle

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Dec 16, 2005, 1:31:59 PM12/16/05
to
Well done re: dead parrot. I and my half bee, Eric, chortled away
merrily.

Dana Tweedy

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Dec 16, 2005, 11:44:45 AM12/16/05
to

"Kleuskes & Moos" <kle...@xs4all.nl> wrote in message
news:1134736162.4...@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
snipping

>> You know the kind, where they think if they give a quadruple-hyphenated,
>
> Tsk, tsk, tsk... Coffee isn't hyphenated.

That's right, it's Caffeinated.

DJT

Inez

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Dec 16, 2005, 12:28:29 PM12/16/05
to
> The hedonistic
> way he chattered into his $300 cell phone about his investments in
> eco-friendly, liberal conglomerates and his visits to his doctor regarding
> his lactose intolerancy.

I am curious as to how one chatters hedonistically. I might want to
try it myself, can you give any pointers?

Smurfette

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Dec 16, 2005, 9:55:57 AM12/16/05