Continuing the story - what happened next....

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richardal...@googlemail.com

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Mar 17, 2007, 4:34:17 PM3/17/07
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The room was dark, the only light coming from the candles in an
elaborate, seven-branched candelabrum. The light showed the figure in
the chair at the head of the long, table, the rich mahogany sheen of
its polished surface the product of the hard work of the fine,
Christian servants who were kept in poverty by its owner, and the
blood of slaves shed uncaringly to bring the God-created timber from
the far reaches of the Americas.

"Respect" the deep voice growled "where is your respect? I feed you, I
give you all the advantages my wealth can provide. And how do you pay
me back?"

"But I want to continue my studies" The voice was young, naïve. It
came from the boyish figure at the foot of the table, standing facing
the old man in the chair "I want to become a priest."

A chuckle, rising to a bellowing laugh came from the old man, his fat
jowls quivering.

"You want to become a priest, do you?"

"Yes"

"And what do you make of that, Lyell?"

A tall, severe figure stepped forward from the shadows.

"Why not?" The voice carried a Scottish lilt, but not the honest burr
of the Godfearing, Churchgoing Lutheran, but that of the corrupt
aristocracy of Edinburgh, and the seat of their perverted learning.
"We can attack from inside the Church as easily as from without."

"But why should I do that? It's all lies! It's all something Smith
invented"

"How dare you" the voice of the old man thundered "you may not repeat
that secret, even here. You may not even think of it. You must treat
the evidence as real, no matter what you know to be true. We have a
mission, a family mission. You have a role to play, and you will play
it whether you like it or not."

The young man crumbled in the face of this onslaught, the weakness of
his character unable to withstand such vindictive anger.

"I will do as you say, grandfather."

The old man considered for a while, watching the weak, twisted figure,
the mind already damaged by the wild lifestyle he was leading.

"I will reward you for this" he said after a while "you may marry your
....cousin"

"My cousin?" the young man lifted his head, sexual depravity gleaming
in his small, weak eyes. "Which one?"

"Does it matter?" asked the old man. He pondered for a while. "I
suppose that for the sake of public appearances it had better be one
of your female cousins. We'll find someone suitable."

He considered the matter for a while.

"I know, " he said at last "Emma Wedgwood. I hear she subscribes to
the Christian faith"

He laughed again, a loud roaring laugh. Lyell joined in.

"Perhaps, " he laughed "she can teach you some of that ....faith. I hear
that Faith is a Lady. No doubt she hopes that she will be able to
convert you on your deathbed."

He laughed again, and this time the young man joined in.

"Now, Charles" he continued when the laughter had died down. "I have
arranged for you to go on a trip. On a boat."

"But, what about my studies?" Charles cried.

"You will do as I say" his grandfather thundered" I have laid the
groundwork. It is your role in this now to continue. A few years away
will give you time to think, and to invent a convincing story. Leave
us now."

The pathetic, shrunken figure slunk away.

"Well, Lyell? What do you think?"

"He'll do, Erasmus. He'll do."


Perplexed in Peoria

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Mar 17, 2007, 4:46:03 PM3/17/07
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<richardal...@googlemail.com> wrote in message news:1174163657.7...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com...

For the first installment, look for the thread "Geological Column a proven lie".

Very well done.

Tiny Bulcher

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Mar 17, 2007, 5:06:23 PM3/17/07
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þus cwæð richardal...@googlemail.com:

> The room was dark, the only light coming from the candles in an
> elaborate, seven-branched candelabrum. The light showed the figure in
> the chair at the head of the long, table, the rich mahogany sheen of
> its polished surface the product of the hard work of the fine,
> Christian servants who were kept in poverty by its owner, and the
> blood of slaves shed uncaringly to bring the God-created timber from
> the far reaches of the Americas.

<snip>

Dammit, Richard, I can't Chez Watt every chapter!

(says he, who wishes he'd thought of it)


Ozan Türkyılmaz

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Mar 17, 2007, 5:06:48 PM3/17/07
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On 17 Mart, 22:46, "Perplexed in Peoria" <jimmene...@sbcglobal.net>
wrote:
> <richardalanforr...@googlemail.com> wrote in messagenews:1174163657.7...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com...
[slip]

> For the first installment, look for the thread "Geological Column a proven lie".
>
> Very well done.

do i see another BOFH rising ?

Augray

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Mar 17, 2007, 5:50:41 PM3/17/07
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On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com wrote
in <1174163657.7...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com> :

[snip]

Next, you need an installment where Sedgwick is brought over to the
Dark Side.

catshark

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Mar 17, 2007, 8:08:50 PM3/17/07
to

And don't forget the brave Lady Hope striving to tell the truth about
Darwin's secret before she can be silenced by the evil self-flagellating
monk Mendel. Should be some good bodice heaving there.

Richard ... you are *way* too good at this. Do you have any secrets *you*
want to share?

--
---------------
J. Pieret
---------------

Any sufficiently advanced parody
is indistinguishable from a genuine kook.

-- Alan Morgan (talk.origins) --

Robert Carnegie

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Mar 17, 2007, 9:06:38 PM3/17/07
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J. K. Rowling says she isn't worried. Let me know when you get to the
Island of the Golden Snitches. You know they used to use real birds...

Richard Harter

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Mar 18, 2007, 12:04:33 AM3/18/07
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On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com wrote:

[snip excellent story]

May I reprint the entirety of this excellent story on my website?


CreateThis

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Mar 17, 2007, 11:06:35 PM3/17/07
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On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com
wrote:

>The room was dark, the only light coming from the candles in an

Applause. Logos is summarily unseated.

Don't start the next chapter until I get some popcorn.

CT

John Wilkins

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Mar 18, 2007, 12:03:14 AM3/18/07
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catshark <cats...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> On Sat, 17 Mar 2007 17:50:41 -0400, Augray <aug...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
> >On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com wrote
> >in <1174163657.7...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com> :
> >
> >[snip]
> >
> >Next, you need an installment where Sedgwick is brought over to the
> >Dark Side.
>
> And don't forget the brave Lady Hope striving to tell the truth about
> Darwin's secret before she can be silenced by the evil self-flagellating
> monk Mendel. Should be some good bodice heaving there.
>
> Richard ... you are *way* too good at this. Do you have any secrets *you*
> want to share?

Didn't Erasmus die before Charles was born? Or are we not bound by mere
conventions of space and time?
--
John S. Wilkins, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Biohumanities Project
University of Queensland - Blog: scienceblogs.com/evolvingthoughts
"He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor,
bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious."

John Wilkins

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Mar 18, 2007, 12:07:07 AM3/18/07
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Richard Harter <c...@tiac.net> wrote:

Make sure you find some bodice-ripping illustrations from the nineteenth
century to illustrate it with. And initial swash capitals.

catshark

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Mar 18, 2007, 8:23:34 AM3/18/07
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On Mar 18, 12:03 am, j.wilki...@uq.edu.au (John Wilkins) wrote:

> catshark <catsh...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > On Sat, 17 Mar 2007 17:50:41 -0400, Augray <aug...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
> > >On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardalanforr...@googlemail.com wrote
> > >in <1174163657.775198.300...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com> :

>
> > >[snip]
>
> > >Next, you need an installment where Sedgwick is brought over to the
> > >Dark Side.
>
> > And don't forget the brave Lady Hope striving to tell the truth about
> > Darwin's secret before she can be silenced by the evil self-flagellating
> > monk Mendel. Should be some good bodice heaving there.
>
> > Richard ... you are *way* too good at this. Do you have any secrets *you*
> > want to share?
>
> Didn't Erasmus die before Charles was born?

That's what those perverted materiaistic atheists *wanted* you to
think! Just like they want you to think that Satan isn't real!

>Or are we not bound by mere
> conventions of space and time?

Hah! As if God could be bound by piddling human notions of space and
time!

--
---------------
J. Pieret
---------------

It ain't the parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.

- Mark Twain -

Augray

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Mar 18, 2007, 8:44:29 AM3/18/07
to
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:03:14 +1000, j.wil...@uq.edu.au (John
Wilkins) wrote in <1hv6bkg.pf14stpd55gnN%j.wil...@uq.edu.au> :

>catshark <cats...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>> On Sat, 17 Mar 2007 17:50:41 -0400, Augray <aug...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>>
>> >On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com wrote
>> >in <1174163657.7...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com> :
>> >
>> >[snip]
>> >
>> >Next, you need an installment where Sedgwick is brought over to the
>> >Dark Side.
>>
>> And don't forget the brave Lady Hope striving to tell the truth about
>> Darwin's secret before she can be silenced by the evil self-flagellating
>> monk Mendel. Should be some good bodice heaving there.
>>
>> Richard ... you are *way* too good at this. Do you have any secrets *you*
>> want to share?
>
>Didn't Erasmus die before Charles was born?

Details, details...


>Or are we not bound by mere
>conventions of space and time?

Erasmus was resurrected by Evilutionary Black Majik to help lead the
cult.

Desertphile

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Mar 18, 2007, 12:03:35 PM3/18/07
to
On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com
wrote:

> The room was dark, the only light coming from the candles in an
> elaborate, seven-branched candelabrum. The light showed the figure in
> the chair at the head of the long, table, the rich mahogany sheen of

> [ETC.]

Fun. How about some tears of rage?


--
http://desertphile.org
Desertphile's Desert Soliloquy. WARNING: view with plenty of water

Richard Harter

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Mar 18, 2007, 1:11:48 PM3/18/07
to
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:07:07 +1000, j.wil...@uq.edu.au (John Wilkins)
wrote:

>Richard Harter <c...@tiac.net> wrote:
>
>> On 17 Mar 2007 13:34:17 -0700, richardal...@googlemail.com wrote:
>>
>> [snip excellent story]
>>
>> May I reprint the entirety of this excellent story on my website?
>
>Make sure you find some bodice-ripping illustrations from the nineteenth
>century to illustrate it with. And initial swash capitals.

Just the thing - I'll see what I can find.


Michael Siemon

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Mar 18, 2007, 10:03:23 PM3/18/07
to
In article <1174163657.7...@p15g2000hsd.googlegroups.com>,
richardal...@googlemail.com wrote:
...

> "And what do you make of that, Lyell?"
>
> A tall, severe figure stepped forward from the shadows.
>
> "Why not?" The voice carried a Scottish lilt, but not the honest burr
> of the Godfearing, Churchgoing Lutheran, but that of the corrupt
> aristocracy of Edinburgh, and the seat of their perverted learning.
> "We can attack from inside the Church as easily as from without."

Lutheran? tut-tut, man. Verisimilitude, above all!

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