10th Richard Harter (1935-2012) Remembrance Day Bring your own pun

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Lawyer Daggett

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Jun 29, 2022, 9:10:25 AMJun 29
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or find and regale us with a favorite from
https://richardhartersworld.com/

One Night at the Forum
https://richardhartersworld.com/caesar/

Richard Harter wrote:
The saying most commonly attributed to Caesar is the famous “This is the
unkindest cut of all”. Caesar did indeed say that to Brutus but it was on quite
a different occasion.

Caesar, you see, was not at all scrupulous in his card playing tactics. One
evening whilst the lads were playing poker Julius had carefully stacked the
deck to give Mark Anthony four kings and himself four aces. As he was
about to deal Brutus unexpectedly reached across the table and cut the
cards.

To which Mitchell Coffey added:
Caesar remained moody for the rest of the evening. It came Brutus’s turn to
deal. Anthony looked at his cards, threw away three. Brutus dealt him three
more. Lepidus threw out one. And so on, until it gets to Caesar, who’s just
sitting there, sucking a cigar and mumbling distantly.

“How many cards you want?” asks Brutus.

Caesar doesn’t answer.

Brutus has to raises his voice.

“How many you want!”

This finally grabs the attention of Caesar, who pops his cigar out of his
mouth and utters, feebly:

“Eh? Two, Brute…”

And Herb Huston ended with:
He’d lent his ears to Marc Antony.

Bob Casanova

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Jun 29, 2022, 12:00:24 PMJun 29
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2022 06:07:34 -0700 (PDT), the following
appeared in talk.origins, posted by Lawyer Daggett
<j.nobel...@gmail.com>:
Yep, that's Harter, all right...

Thanks for the memory!
>
--

Bob C.

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science,
the one that heralds new discoveries, is not
'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"

- Isaac Asimov

Martin Harran

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Jun 29, 2022, 1:55:24 PMJun 29
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2022 06:07:34 -0700 (PDT), Lawyer Daggett
<j.nobel...@gmail.com> wrote:

>or find and regale us with a favorite from
>https://richardhartersworld.com/
>
Not a pun but I like this one, not just because of the humour but
because it is so politically incorrect :)

https://richardhartersworld.com/genderdiff/

Men and Women, not quite the same
Here is a brief guide to some of the differences between men and
women.

NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out,
they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and
Wildman .

EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will
pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a
man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.

MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
but she does.

DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is
vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Bob Casanova

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Jun 29, 2022, 2:05:24 PMJun 29
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2022 18:50:53 +0100, the following appeared
in talk.origins, posted by Martin Harran
<martin...@gmail.com>:
Never saw that specific list, and I wouldn't have expected
Harter to have written it. That said, however, it's funny
*and* un-PC; a twofer! ;-)

*Hemidactylus*

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Jun 29, 2022, 5:25:24 PMJun 29
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Harter is definitely missed. Thanks for posting this.

Lawyer Daggett

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Jun 29, 2022, 6:20:24 PMJun 29
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Two White House aids a few years back were cleaning up ketchup stains after
a Hamburger had been thrown in rage. The President came in and screamed at
them to leave. They both quickly retreated.

"Wow, he's really starting to lose it."

"I guess we should have seen the writing on the wall."

"Heinz site is 20/20."

Bob Casanova

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Jun 29, 2022, 6:45:24 PMJun 29
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2022 15:17:56 -0700 (PDT), the following
appeared in talk.origins, posted by Lawyer Daggett
<j.nobel...@gmail.com>:
There's a blog I read where comments like that result in the
launch of a carp at the perp. Maybe t.o should... ;-)

Lawyer Daggett

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Jun 29, 2022, 7:10:25 PMJun 29
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People may have to mullet over.
If I keep this up I may get schooled.
But if you want to go to war on this, like the octopus said, be careful, I'm heavily armed.

Bob Casanova

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Jun 30, 2022, 2:35:25 AMJun 30
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2022 16:08:22 -0700 (PDT), the following
Oy... You win. ;-)

Martin Harran

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Jun 30, 2022, 7:20:25 AMJun 30
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rOn Wed, 29 Jun 2022 11:02:03 -0700, Bob Casanova <nos...@buzz.off>
wrote:
Like many un-PC things, there is a lot of truth in it!

Martin Harran

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Jun 30, 2022, 7:20:25 AMJun 30
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2022 15:17:56 -0700 (PDT), Lawyer Daggett
Very timely with Cassidy Hutchinson's evidence to the Jan. 6 hearing
this week!


>
>"Heinz site is 20/20."

broger...@gmail.com

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Jun 30, 2022, 7:45:25 AMJun 30
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Women testify; men take the Fifth.
>
>
> >
> >"Heinz site is 20/20."

Rich Ardhart Orr

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Jun 30, 2022, 8:25:25 AMJun 30
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I approve of this message.
> > >
> > >"Heinz site is 20/20."

David Greig

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Jul 2, 2022, 8:55:04 AMJul 2
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ave atque vale, richard

:(

--D.
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