Stacey Abrams Claims Obesity Is Just Numbers Manufactured By Her Bathroom Scale

[Matt Beasley]

Martha's Vineyard Resident Calls Police To Report A Hispanic In The Neighborhood Not Operating A Leaf Blower
https://babylonbee.com/news/marthas-vineyard-resident-calls-police-to-report-a-latino-in-the-neighborhood-not-operating-a-leaf-blower

In Continued Push For Gender Neutrality, Air Force Removes All Flight Sticks From Planes
https://babylonbee.com/news/in-continued-push-for-gender-neutrality-air-force-removes-all-flight-sticks-from-planes

Biden Tearfully Gives Queen One Final Sniff
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-tearfully-gives-queen-one-final-sniff

Stacey Abrams Claims Obesity Is Just Numbers Manufactured By Her Bathroom Scale
https://babylonbee.com/news/stacey-abrams-claims-obesity-is-just-numbers-manufactured-by-a-bathroom-scale

Martha's Vineyard Builds Planned Parenthood To Combat Rising Population Of Minorities
https://babylonbee.com/news/marthas-vineyard-begins-building-planned-parenthood-to-combat-rising-population-of-minorities

Millions Celebrate Latinx Heritage Month By Commemorating That Time A Few Years Ago When The Word 'Latinx' Was Made Up
https://babylonbee.com/news/millions-celebrate-latinx-heritage-month-by-commemorating-that-time-a-few-years-ago-when-the-word-latinx-was-made-up

Border Town Puts Up 'Martha's Vineyard' Sign In Hopes Government Will Come Pick Up All Their Illegal Immigrants
https://babylonbee.com/news/border-town-puts-up-marthas-vineyard-sign-so-immigrants-will-know-theyre-not-welcome-there

Jean-Pierre Clarifies That Official White House Policy Is The Opposite Of Whatever Biden Says In Interviews
https://babylonbee.com/news/jean-pierre-clarifies-that-official-white-house-policy-is-the-opposite-of-whatever-biden-says-in-interviews

White House Promises To Walk Back Biden Statement Once Their Codebreakers Decipher It
https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-promises-to-walk-back-biden-statement-once-their-codebreakers-decipher-it

Liberals Sit Around Campfire To Tell Scary Climate Change Stories
https://babylonbee.com/news/liberals-sit-around-campfire-to-tell-scary-climate-change-stories

New Communist Food Delivery Service Just Delivers You Empty Containers Then Shoots You
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-communist-food-delivery-service-just-delivers-you-empty-boxes-then-shoots-your-family

Migrants Decline Newsom’s Offer Of Asylum In CA Since They Just Came From A Collapsing Communist Hellhole With No Electricity
https://babylonbee.com/news/migrants-decline-newsoms-offer-of-asylum-in-ca-since-they-just-came-from-a-collapsing-communist-hellhole-with-no-electricity

After Dealing With Martha's Vineyard HOA, Migrants Decide To Go Back And Take Their Chances With The Cartels
https://babylonbee.com/news/after-dealing-with-marthas-vineyard-hoa-migrants-decide-go-back-and-take-their-chances-with-the-cartels

After Using FBI To Suppress Son’s Crimes And Raid Political Rival’s Home, Biden Warns Democracy In Danger
https://babylonbee.com/news/after-using-fbi-to-suppress-sons-crimes-and-raid-political-rivals-home-biden-warns-democracy-in-danger

Caving to Demands for Diversity, Saturday Night Live Hires Funny Cast Member
https://babylonbee.com/news/caving-to-demands-for-diversity-nbc-hires-funny-cast-member