Evolution KILLS
C. Thompson
and charged with the first-degree murders of his 3 children. Police
responded to a call made by a neighbor who had heard loud noises coming from
the house next door. "He had his little oddities, we all do" said the
neighbor. "We sometimes heard him shouting "Darwin was right! Get Wallace
out of your mind!" but we never imagined something like this could happen!"
Preliminary reports indicate the scientist preserved his children in
formalin stolen from the museum where he worked. "This guy seemed to use
the formalin in a bunch of bizarre religious rituals, he had special
containers for it and he had it near the shrine," said a police officer at
the scene. The "shrine" apparently is a reference to the shrine the father
had constructed to Charles Darwin, who had taken on divine significance in
the scientist's life. "Seems like the kids had become interested in this
Wallace fellow, and the father treated him like some sort of heretic, a
spawn of the ultimate evil," said the police officer.
Classmates of the children claimed they had to carry a copy of "The Origin
of Species" wherever they went, and the children had complained their father
beat them if they did not have particular sections memorized to his
satisfaction. "We can't believe this fell through the cracks" a Child
Protective Agency Official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, claimed.
"This might be the worst case of Darwinist abuse we've had here in
Massachusetts" he said.
stew dean
> (UPS) Crambidge MA. A prominent evolutionary biologist was arrested today
> and charged with the first-degree murders of his 3 children. Police
> responded to a call made by a neighbor who had heard loud noises coming from
> the house next door. "He had his little oddities, we all do" said the
> neighbor. "We sometimes heard him shouting "Darwin was right! Get Wallace
> out of your mind!" but we never imagined something like this could happen!"
Who is wallace? A parody is only funny when it's mildly relevent to reality.
You're as funny as the guy who claims to have eyes in the back of his head.
Stew Dean
Arne Vogel
r norman
Alfred Russell Wallace is simply the guy that published his concept of
evolution by natural selection before Darwin. Still, knowing that
doesn't make the attempted parody any more clever or relevant.
Mark Isaak
wrote:
>On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 00:19:34 +0000 (UTC),
>ste...@webslave.dircon.co.uk (stew dean) wrote:
>
>>"C. Thompson" <rockw...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<bpiqkh$1m7$1...@pat.cis.cuny.edu>...
>>> (UPS) Crambidge MA. A prominent evolutionary biologist was arrested today
>>> and charged with the first-degree murders of his 3 children. Police
>>> responded to a call made by a neighbor who had heard loud noises coming from
>>> the house next door. "He had his little oddities, we all do" said the
>>> neighbor. "We sometimes heard him shouting "Darwin was right! Get Wallace
>>> out of your mind!" but we never imagined something like this could happen!"
>>
>>Who is wallace? A parody is only funny when it's mildly relevent to reality.
>
>Alfred Russell Wallace is simply the guy that published his concept of
>evolution by natural selection before Darwin. Still, knowing that
>doesn't make the attempted parody any more clever or relevant.
Alfred Russel Wallace wrote to Darwin with his ideas on evolution,
which matched Darwin's ideas almost exactly. Darwin and Wallace
published (actually, were presented by reading letters at a meeting)
simultanously. No supporter of Darwin would yell, "Get Wallace out of
your mind," especially given that Wallace published a book titled
_Darwinism_.
Thompson's lies are pathetic in many ways.
--
Mark Isaak at...@earthlink.net
"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of
the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are
being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and
exposing the country to danger." -- Hermann Goering
Adam Marczyk
*shakes head sadly*... When will people learn?
--
"If God dwells inside us, | a.a. #2001
like some people say, | http://www.ebonmusings.org
I sure hope he likes enchiladas, | e-mail: ebonmuse!hotmail.com
because that's what he's getting." | ICQ: 8777843
--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey | PGP Key ID: 0x5C66F737
----------------------------------------------------------------------
observa
Alan Jeffery
"C. Thompson" <rockw...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:bpiqkh$1m7$1...@pat.cis.cuny.edu...
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David Horn
Note to Chris: Forgetting for the moment that our master debator and
self-presumed expert here doesn't know who Wallace was, I'll just say
that nothing kills the point of satire, a joke, or even a strategically
placed piece of news quite like having to explain it. ;)
Chris Thompson
news:tatqrv033f4amv8tf...@4ax.com:
Um Mark, may I respectfully suggest you look up my posting history on
t.o.?
I would not normally write something like this, but the word 'lie'
attached to me from someone I respect is particularly hurtful.
Maybe this was a little beyond reality, but it was supposed to be a
parody of Craig Feinstein's recent posts.
If I have successfully reeled you in, though, I claim an Isaak Loki
point, which is of considerable value in this venue.
Chris
Chris Thompson
news:bugvb.85$US3.45@okepread03:
Was it *too* ummm, too much?
Chris
Chris Thompson
news:tatqrv033f4amv8tf...@4ax.com:
> On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 01:07:46 +0000 (UTC), r norman <rsn_@_comcast.net>
I freely admit I have not read Wallace's works. According to Gould,
though, Wallace attributed all- really all!- traits in plants and
animals to natural selection. Darwin never, ever suggested this in any
of his works.
On the other hand, Wallace resorted to spiritualism and mysticism to
explain the intellect and "soul" of humans, which Darwin never did.
There were profound disagreement between the two scientists.
Chris
Chris Thompson
news:tatqrv033f4amv8tf...@4ax.com:
> On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 01:07:46 +0000 (UTC), r norman <rsn_@_comcast.net>
Sorry, Mark, I can't resist.
"Darwinist abuse"???
Hehehehehe
Chris
zosdad
"Russel" hath but one "l":
"It's On The Web..."--Or, When is a "Russel" a "Russel"?):
http://www.wku.edu/%7Esmithch/essays/ITSONWEB.htm
http://www.wku.edu/~smithch/wallace/misinf.htm
=====
Wallace as a subject for investigation presents a particularly good
opportunity for testing the quality of the Web's resources. There is
first the matter of his unusually spelled middle name: "Russel."
Nearly half of the items I found spelled it "Russell," a slip-up which
is something of a dead giveaway that the person who was in charge of
producing the entry doesn't know what he or she is talking about.
=====
A bit harsh -- cripes, it *should* have two "l"s
PS: Dang trolls...hook something every time.
(PPS: It would have been funnier if the fake news account was
"Evolutionary biologist thinks better of murderous act after realizing
that such actions would reduce his inclusive fitness. Children
forgiven for burning down house." ...or something...)
June
I thought it was pretty good! It had me loki'd for a sec.
--
My 2¢ ß-}
June
John Wilkins
You me and Andrew can celebrate your Loki points at the 'Thumb - your
shout.
--
John Wilkins wilkins.id.au
For long you live and high you fly,
and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
and all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be
John Wilkins
Apparently his mother couldn't spell, or the local keeper of the rolls,
or something.
And yes, Alfie and Chuck disagreed on a lot of things. Chuck allowed for
there to be things about evolution that did not involve selection, but
perhaps more importantly things about survival that did not involve
selection and vice versa... because Alfie couldn't account of
intelligence, he had to have a supernatural explanation. Comes of having
a Single Mechanism.
He also disagreed with female choice in sexual selection, for other
reasons.
Arne Vogel
[snip]
> Apparently his mother couldn't spell, or the local keeper of the rolls,
> or something.
Russel with one l doesn't seem so uncommon.
russel -wallace
returns 555,000 Google hits
[snip]
Chris Thompson
wil...@wehi.edu.au:
(snip)
>>
> You me and Andrew can celebrate your Loki points at the 'Thumb - your
> shout.
Woohoo!
But I did over-react to Mark's post. I *should* have played it for
whatever I could get out of it :{) But I am hypersensitized by the whole
Nameless affair, and by something at work that still makes me furious.
I really liked the bit about the formalin, though. If nothing else, that
should be preserved.
Chris
Seppo Pietikainen
> wil...@wehi.edu.au (John Wilkins) wrote in news:1g4spnq.raww8h17sy4n1N%
> wil...@wehi.edu.au:
>
>
> (snip)
>
>
>>You me and Andrew can celebrate your Loki points at the 'Thumb - your
>>shout.
>
>
> Woohoo!
>
> But I did over-react to Mark's post. I *should* have played it for
> whatever I could get out of it :{) But I am hypersensitized by the whole
> Nameless affair, and by something at work that still makes me furious.
I think I'm suffering from the same malady, not just due to McWitless, but
to a whole menagerie of similar nitwits. Maybe I should just sit down
for a couple of evenings with a good book and good scotch...
Oh, wait, I just did that a couple of days back!
>
> I really liked the bit about the formalin, though. If nothing else, that
> should be preserved.
>
> Chris
>
There were some stories in the MAD -magazine (AFAIR) about 30-40 yrs back about
doctors creating siamese twins. Maybe it is a good thing that I've forgotten
the details...
Seppo P.
David Horn
Apparently.
C. Thompson
I didn't even make a sock puppet.
Mark Isaak
>Um Mark, may I respectfully suggest you look up my posting history on
>t.o.?
>
>Maybe this was a little beyond reality, but it was supposed to be a
>parody of Craig Feinstein's recent posts.
>
>If I have successfully reeled you in, though, I claim an Isaak Loki
>point, which is of considerable value in this venue.
Gongrahdulazhions. You've gohd your Loghi poind. Naw haw do ah gedd
thu hoog ouhd?
Lane Lewis
"Chris Thompson" <rockw...@TAKEOUTerols.com> wrote in message
news:Xns943AB5586A9Bro...@199.184.165.240...
I thought it was an interesting parody, though I wouldn't have the scientist
go religious. How about this.
Headline
Scientist kills sons and daughters to further Natural selection.
Lane Lewis
Jim Loats
Chris Thompson <rockw...@TAKEOUTerols.com> wrote:
> I really liked the bit about the formalin, though. If nothing else, that
> should be preserved.
<rimshot>
Ferrous Patella
<rockw...@TAKEOUTerols.com>:
> Maybe this was a little beyond reality, but it was supposed to be a
> parody of Craig Feinstein's recent posts.
I don't know if it will make you feel beter or worse but I got it in one.
--
Ferrous Patella
"Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war."
--John Adams, letter to Abigail, 1797
stew dean
Guess this Loki stuff doesnt translate well over the atlantic. As
satire I didnt really get the point.
Stew Dean
stew dean
Who are you again?
Stew Dean
David Horn
> Chris Thompson <rockw...@TAKEOUTerols.com> wrote in message news:<Xns943AB7F6AEB0ro...@199.184.165.240>...
>
>>>>reality.
>>>>
>>>>You're as funny as the guy who claims to have eyes in the back of his
>>>>head.
>>>
>>>Note to Chris: Forgetting for the moment that our master debator and
>>>self-presumed expert here doesn't know who Wallace was, I'll just say
>>>that nothing kills the point of satire, a joke, or even a
>>>strategically placed piece of news quite like having to explain it.
>>>;)
>>
>>Was it *too* ummm, too much?
>>
>>Chris
>
> Guess this Loki stuff doesnt translate well over the atlantic. As
> satire I didnt really get the point.
What *did* "translate well" is that Dean, who presumes himself to be
well-educated and intelligent and who also presumes to lecture some on
the topic of evoution (among other, less relevant things) had to ask
about the identity of Wallace -- a *very* elementary piece of
information to anyone *truly* well-informed on the subject.
David Horn
More to the point, I wonder if Dean can now tell us about Wallace
without looking it up; and how such a self-presumed well-educated,
intelligent guy who often lectures others about the subject matter
pertinent to this echo (as well as topics that are not pertinet) can
fail to know such a very elementary name and its relevant.
C. Thompson
> news:Xns943AB5586A9Bro...@199.184.165.240 by Chris
> Thompson <rockw...@TAKEOUTerols.com>:
>
>> Maybe this was a little beyond reality, but it was supposed to be a
>> parody of Craig Feinstein's recent posts.
>
>
> I don't know if it will make you feel beter or worse but I got it in
> one.
Both ;) But as I said, I over-reacted. It's that darn "L" word that does
it to me every time.
Here, grab Mark's other foot, will ya? Now pull.
Chris
C. Thompson
It hurts less if you just push it all the way through.
Trust me.
George Schaertl
This only tends to happen in fundamentalist *theistic* households.
Or is that the point of this parody?
<shakes head sadly>
--
Egroeg
KelvynT
It didn't matter - I just assumed you'd flipped :-) Hope your
spleen's feeling better now..
Kelvyn
Rip
> (UPS) Crambidge MA. A prominent evolutionary biologist was arrested today
> and charged with the first-degree murders of his 3 children. Police
> responded to a call made by a neighbor who had heard loud noises coming from
> the house next door. "He had his little oddities, we all do" said the
> neighbor. "We sometimes heard him shouting "Darwin was right! Get Wallace
> out of your mind!" but we never imagined something like this could happen!"
>
> formalin stolen from the museum where he worked. "This guy seemed to use
> the formalin in a bunch of bizarre religious rituals, he had special
> containers for it and he had it near the shrine," said a police officer at
> the scene. The "shrine" apparently is a reference to the shrine the father
> had constructed to Charles Darwin, who had taken on divine significance in
> the scientist's life. "Seems like the kids had become interested in this
> Wallace fellow, and the father treated him like some sort of heretic, a
> spawn of the ultimate evil," said the police officer.
>
> Classmates of the children claimed they had to carry a copy of "The Origin
> of Species" wherever they went, and the children had complained their father
> beat them if they did not have particular sections memorized to his
> satisfaction. "We can't believe this fell through the cracks" a Child
> Protective Agency Official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, claimed.
> "This might be the worst case of Darwinist abuse we've had here in
> Massachusetts" he said.
And what would you say about some one who was perfectly willing to
kill his son because he thought that God told him to do it?
C. Thompson
Heh. Darwinist abuse? Holy formalin? Beating a kid because he didn't
memorize passages from Origin of Species?
Read Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven".
Dave Horn was right. It loses a lot...
Chris