My initial reaction is "none of those things follow". But let's count.
Personally, the transition from belief to a lack of belief was not painful.
Painful would have been maintaining belief when there were so many reasons
to reject various aspects of belief. It's called cognative dissonance. Properly
understood, the phrase addresses a feeling of discomfort that one ought to
have when one discovers contradictions in what one accepts to be true.
For example, if one believed that the earth was only 6000 years old and all
existing humans descended from two originating people, Adam and Eve, but
one learned something about genetics and the diversity in the human gene
pool, one would have a conflict. The painful thing is preserving the conflict.
So you look at the two, find the genetic science and observations compelling,
and so discard that particular belief about Adam and Eve. Similar things happen
when looking at evidence for the age of the Earth and that 6000 years thing.
It helps that a sane person doesn't have to throw away all of theology in this step
because they can be separated. Those things aren't really necessary aspects of
a belief in a creator.
As life goes I, for me, more and more of the specifics that were present in the
cannon of my childhood religion were disposed of because they made no sense.
For some people, they reach a point where they hit a crisis and decide if 1, 2, 3
up to N things were false, heck it looks like it must all be false and so toss aside
everything in their theology basket. They might go further and apply it to everyone
else's theology too. Or, they might adopt a more mystical view that "well, I don't
know everything, maybe all that false stuff was made up by silly people but that's
because they just aren't good at grasping the great mysteries. But it's still possible
for there to be something greater out there that we just haven't grasped". Which
way a person goes varies. I never found it difficult. Maybe it's more impactful
on those who get angry about having been lied to, and those who angrily decide
to throw all possible belief aside in a fit of rage. I have met those who seem
to fit that model, but it didn't seem very common to me.
I also don't see how your comment about being involved with friends and a church
fit. None of my friendships have been based on having a common theological
set of beliefs or unbeliefs.
I also don't have any strong bias against the possibility of anything supernatural.
I simply don't see any need to introduce the supernatural. If there's something
creating miracles, they seem to hide well. And if they can work miracles,
I expect they can hide well. I just don't worry about it.
You also seem to be thinking that atheism is a belief that gods
don't exist, rather than a lack of belief that gods don't exist.
Those aren't the same. As a scientist, my default is "I don't know".
I'm comfortable with "I don't know". Some call that agnostic.
It's a rather literal view of the word. As it happens, I also don't
have any affirmative beliefs in any gods but I also don't have
some conviction that there can't be any gods. I get a sense
that you don't understand this perspective.
I get that for someone who already believes that a god exists, it's
nice to have something for them to do. Creating and designing the
world or life would work there. So you want to give your god
credit for some of creation. That's nice. Good for you. But I have
trouble with you being biased in how you interpret data. There's
a big difference between "maybe he did that" and "the data makes
it look like he did that". From reading your posts, it seems like you
don't understand that distinction either.
As for as your "thinking" about the numbers of neurons, well that's
pretty confused too. All you're demonstrating is that you don't understand
how a fairly simple set of instructions can interact with an environment
with lots of information in it to create a very complex result. That's
just understanding math and perhaps thermodynamics.
Ultimately, your testimony is very unconvincing as it makes odd assertions
and draws flawed conclusions even when you have good premises.