Andy Hart the drag boat fudge squeal attempt
L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058
you. We toy terriers have found that when the sperm drunk
yahoos from .flame come waddling into talk.bizarre the average
ratio of signal to noise becomes desperately low. The problem
is that we have enough garbage being hurled about by the
locals without suffering the ignominy of having to kill the
Jorns and the rest of you sons of Bisses. Now I sure am
fond of a crafted flame and I give you credit for posting a
whole stenching pile of limpness in an attempt to catch a
misc.test follow-up. At this rate you'll be as imposing a
presence as, oh, Admiral Stockdale. Just to keep this a
friendly place I'll ask you to quit stuffing crab meat up
your piggy bum where the children can see you. Julian is
a sensitive child and Blair will never get out of the
lobster bib if you don't co-operate. Ya see we (some of us)
are trying to entertain ourselves with out napkins in our
laps and the .flame presence just makes it more difficult
to maintain a standard of indecency and etc.
So please do the decent thing and fuck off, okay.
Andy Hart
>[short, venomous, and to the point flame deleted]
>So please do the decent thing and fuck off, okay.
Hi Liz, thanks ever so much for the note and for deeply wounding
me in my naive, trusting, and heartfelt attempt to pander my way
out of the path of your poison pen. I *still* love you, even if
you *did* sleep with that biker gang and run off to become a
cigar-chompin', gun-totin' survivalist in that bizarre Canadian
backwoods "Sisters of Sappho" commune.
Now, I can certainly sympathize with the pure motives of you
and your t.b. ethnic cleansing death squads, but I'm afraid that
now YOU have missed the point entirely, dear Liz. You did, however,
get *right to* missing the point right away, for which I commend you.
If you want to lecture *me* about low signal-to-noise ratio and
JORN-killing ignominy, well, you might as well teach your grandma to
suck eggs, 'cause I been there, ya know? In fact, I would say that
you and your pals owe me a debt of gratitude 'cause while you've all
been having a hoot sanitarily entertaining yourselves without napkins,
I've been fighting the good fight against the forces of darkness and,
while filled with monkeys, alt.flame has paradoxically NOT been more fun
than a barrel of them lately. It DOES show recent signs of marked
improvement since I took my own killfile advice, however.
So, the *point* my dear venomous Liz, is that if y'all wanna honk and
flog someone from your midst of your gaggle, well, knock your collective
selves out. Just don't make me wanna toss my cookies while you're at it
with smug "I'm a sysadmin and *I* think this is all, EVER so boring!"
bleating bullshit. If you boneheads had half a brain among you, you
could probably quietly redirect the Twittys and Hannigans wherever you
want them and they'd never know the damn difference anyway. Martin spends
more time posting to misc.test than anywhere else.
Others, like me, will be harder to give the boot. You wouldn't deny
me the next step in my net.evolution, would you Elizabeth? Say it ain't so.
Would you kick us poor alt.flame lungfishes wheezing out onto dry land
back into the primordial soup?
Well, *fuck* you very much if so, 'cause Honey, I'm home from the wars,
and this warm t.b. reception has suffused me with an overweening desire
to pitch my squalid tent here in talk.bizarre on a quiet creekside lot
and begin writing my memoirs and dispensing my quaint homespun Texas
wisdom to any pilgrim passers-by.
Don't like it? Well, you can send your hooded riders by to burn my barn...
I'll send some of the varmints back sideways across their saddles and build
another. Or you can extend the hand of friendship, help me plow my acre of
God's Green Earth, and come over for supper. We're having possum'n grits.
But before we eat, let me quote from the good book of Andrew, chapter 9,
article 11, section 2, subparagraphs 21 through 26:
21 It came to pass that a stranger did enter the land
and his teachings caused great concern among the elders
of the village idiots. And they huddled and whispered "Who
is this stranger and why does he come and gism among us?"
22 And they were unwise and did sayeth unto him: "Bah! Away
clueless newbie!" and saying so they beset upon him with
sticks and stones to break his bones and did curse his name.
23 Whereupon the stranger did turn to them and speak:
"Lo, verily I say unto you! I am the sins of the fathers
visited upon the flesh of the children. I am your Frankenstein
monster. Behold what ye have created!"
24 Hearing this, they smote him and with each cleave of their
scythes, he became two, and two became four, and each of them
saying thusly: "For your acts to a stranger shall ye be judged,
and upon you shall be visited plagues unto the last day, or
perhaps the next to last day."
25 And it came to pass as it was said, and swarms of twitties
descended upon the land, and leering hannigans stole infants
from their cribs in their sleep, and jorns trumpeted in the
village square unashamed.
26 Thus it came to pass that great cries and wailing were heard
throughout the land and there was gnashing of teeth somethin'
fierce, and the citizens raised hands against the elders and
spanked them mightily.
Fodder for thought, eh Liz? Is your conscience clear?
So have a nice day, don't forget to write, and grab the other end of this
and *blow*, thank you very much.
--
-- Andy
special agent finerty
>(L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058) writes:
andy seems a bit confused.
--
pjf pseudogene impersonator extraordinaire
and hapless inhabitant of salt lick city.
L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058
>>[short, venomous, and to the point flame deleted]
>>So please do the decent thing and fuck off, okay.
>
>
>Hi Liz, thanks ever so much for the note and for deeply wounding
>me in my naive, trusting, and heartfelt attempt to pander my way
>out of the path of your poison pen. I *still* love you, even if
>you *did* sleep with that biker gang and run off to become a
>cigar-chompin', gun-totin' survivalist in that bizarre Canadian
>backwoods "Sisters of Sappho" commune.
Hi Andy, you're ever so welcome. Since you seem to qualify as naive
I shall spurn you're limp affections. One wouldn't wish to encourage
a love that could only cause you further trauma. Oh, by the way it
was my sister who not only slept with but married a biker gang.
Have a cigar young pud.
>
>If you want to lecture *me* about low signal-to-noise ratio and
>JORN-killing ignominy, well, you might as well teach your grandma to
>suck eggs, 'cause I been there, ya know? In fact, I would say that
>you and your pals owe me a debt of gratitude 'cause while you've all
Gosh thanks Andy, you have done a splendid job and we are all so
fucking grateful that the language is inadequate to express the
general sense of love and joy that we feel. In fact you have done
such a wonderful job of whatever the hell you're prattling about
that we feel you need a long vaxcation and you've been promoted
to the Radio Shack detail.
Have a cleanser.
>So, the *point* my dear venomous Liz, is that if y'all wanna honk and
>flog someone from your midst of your gaggle, well, knock your collective
>selves out. Just don't make me wanna toss my cookies while you're at it
>with smug "I'm a sysadmin and *I* think this is all, EVER so boring!"
>bleating bullshit. If you boneheads had half a brain among you, you
>could probably quietly redirect the Twittys and Hannigans wherever you
>want them and they'd never know the damn difference anyway. Martin spends
>more time posting to misc.test than anywhere else.
I am not and have never claimed to be a sys-admin. If your stomach
is as weak as your mind it is no fault of mine. Swimming in the shallow
end of the gene pool is something to discuss with your mom. That you
are boring shall be held as a self evident truth.
>
>Others, like me, will be harder to give the boot. You wouldn't deny
>me the next step in my net.evolution, would you Elizabeth? Say it ain't so.
>Would you kick us poor alt.flame lungfishes wheezing out onto dry land
>back into the primordial soup?
Andy you and others like you produce a general sense of disgust.
We don't want to give you the boot; we just don't want to step in
you. Perhaps the next step in your net.evolution should be along the
lines of transcending the little ent voice from the base of your
terminally malformed skull and actually developing a wit. As to the
crawling lutefisk brigade, forget the soup, I'd rather cast the
lot of you squealing nya nyas into the nearest magma.
>
>Well, *fuck* you very much if so, 'cause Honey, I'm home from the wars,
>and this warm t.b. reception has suffused me with an overweening desire
Please boobala, you are not home at all. The parade you expected
was cancelled the reception committee has been urinating over your
discharge papers and Reese has been practising wiping with your
passport, both standing and sitting. That you are overweening is
all too clear, we just don't want to have to clean the carpets
again. Get ye to a napkin spunklap.
>
>Don't like it? Well, you can send your hooded riders by to burn my barn...
>I'll send some of the varmints back sideways across their saddles and build
>another. Or you can extend the hand of friendship, help me plow my acre of
>God's Green Earth, and come over for supper. We're having possum'n grits.
>But before we eat, let me quote from the good book of Andrew, chapter 9,
We are not the Klan, you are thinking of KKKaldis. No hooded riders
just a late model windowless van full of special equipment. Should
you be interested in taking part in the festivities you might
be tempted to bathe and study up on local custom. I am sorry that
you dine on slug rats, have a haggis.
>
Pseudo-biblical kak deleted. Perhaps you would be interested in
conversing with the Holtsinger git. Shares your delusions. The only
Ghods we have around here are too damn lazy to make the earth green.
So hike up that tool belt and screw off, you can practice your
animal husbandry elsewhere.
Liz
Killing Pace
Well hot dog! I'm going to need a haircut and some clean underwear
before my next .BOB.
I haven't been *this* excited since before I found out Blair was a guy.
---
Mike Rigler Schlitz "Tall Boy" [tm] -- Breakfast of Transients!!!
Andy Hart
>Hi Andy, you're ever so welcome. Since you seem to qualify as naive
>I shall spurn you're limp affections. One wouldn't wish to encourage
>a love that could only cause you further trauma. Oh, by the way it
>was my sister who not only slept with but married a biker gang.
>Have a cigar young pud.
.flame on
Hi Liz, it's so wonderful to hear from you again. I think it's really
great that the steroid treatments are helping and, *honest*, I'm sure
nobody will stare at the moustache. I'm happy to see that you have
finally landed employment, and so what if it's as a bouncer? It's better
than food stamps, ya know. At least you're using your Gawd given
gifts and, speaking of your bum, thanks ever so much for giving me the
bum's rush to the door, but I think that since *you* started this thread
in t.b., maybe we should just finish it here too. I'll thank you to keep
your crap out of alt.flame because you're frightening the kiddies. I can
tell because Michele hasn't even tried to e-nail you yet. Unless perhaps
even the priapismic Michele isn't desperate enough to attempt that
wee prickly feat, although I must say I think you'd make a lovely couple.
You could compare body piercings.
>Gosh thanks Andy, you have done a splendid job and we are all so
>fucking grateful that the language is inadequate to express the
>general sense of love and joy that we feel. In fact you have done
>such a wonderful job of whatever the hell you're prattling about
>that we feel you need a long vaxcation and you've been promoted
>to the Radio Shack detail.
>Have a cleanser.
Gee, you're certainly welcome Liz, I *feel* splendid and don't worry
about your poor command of the English language because you speak the
international language of love quite well, although you do kinda spit a
little when your face turns that funny read color. In fact, you have
done such a wonderful job of prattling on about whatever the hell that
vacation within your sloping calcificated skull can promote beyond the
stage of an incoherent gargle, that I think you had better check your
Prozac dosage.
Have a sedative.
>I am not and have never claimed to be a sys-admin. If your stomach
>is as weak as your mind it is no fault of mine. Swimming in the shallow
>end of the gene pool is something to discuss with your mom. That you
>are boring shall be held as a self evident truth.
And I have not and have never said that you *were* a sysadmin, Lizzie.
Please pay attention and take your finger out of your nose while you're
at it bung lady. What I did was *compliment* you and specifically
exclude you from the set of t.b. morons, a noble gesture of friendship
which you promptly repaid with calumny and slander against my fair person.
Oh well, no good deed goes unpunished, THAT is certainly evident.
>Andy you and others like you produce a general sense of disgust.
>We don't want to give you the boot; we just don't want to step in
>you. Perhaps the next step in your net.evolution should be along the
>lines of transcending the little ent voice from the base of your
>terminally malformed skull and actually developing a wit. As to the
>crawling lutefisk brigade, forget the soup, I'd rather cast the
>lot of you squealing nya nyas into the nearest magma.
Liz, you and others like you don't produce anything at all and,
fortunately, your sense of disgust is not relevant to the issue at
hand, nor is it shared by all. Your shrill virago harangue of
banal "My trail muffins smell better'n y'orn!" spleen will, in time,
be unheard. It will probably be much like living next to an airport:
the property values will plummet, but in time you won't be noticed at all.
Speaking of transcending, you might try to wean yourself of your
post-menopausal delusions that I might actually give a rosy red act of
sexual congress whether you appreciate my dry and sparkling wit or not.
Nya! So that!
>Please boobala, you are not home at all. The parade you expected
>was cancelled the reception committee has been urinating over your
>discharge papers and Reese has been practising wiping with your
>passport, both standing and sitting. That you are overweening is
>all too clear, we just don't want to have to clean the carpets
>again. Get ye to a napkin spunklap.
Please, O Winner of the "Bea Arthur Celebrity Look-alike Contest",
the milky discharge of genitourinal fantasy emanating from your
malodorous maw is the only excretory dribble troubling me. Screw
your carpet, you flea-bitten primate donna, hie ye to a Rug Doctor
rental outlet.
>We are not the Klan, you are thinking of KKKaldis. No hooded riders
>just a late model windowless van full of special equipment. Should
>you be interested in taking part in the festivities you might
>be tempted to bathe and study up on local custom. I am sorry that
>you dine on slug rats, have a haggis.
It's true that I'm not as versed in the art of fecal divination as
some of the locals, most notably yourself for example, but I think
I'll pick it up soon enough with or without your cooperation. I mean,
how hard can it be? I'll pass on the slug rats and you're enough of
a haggis for me, thanks anyway.
>Pseudo-biblical kak deleted. Perhaps you would be interested in
>conversing with the Holtsinger git. Shares your delusions. The only
>Ghods we have around here are too damn lazy to make the earth green.
>So hike up that tool belt and screw off, you can practice your
>animal husbandry elsewhere.
>Liz
Don't blaspheme, Liz. I'm interested in conversing with almost anyone
as this thread proves, unlike those la-de-da-holier-than-thou-I-been-here-
longer-than-you-clueless-newbie-milque-toasts you're defending, Liz.
I'm hanging out my shingle, or shingles in your case, and practicing
veterinary medicine right here, so MOOve your broad bovine butt
out of my way.
Step aside! There are sick t.b. puppies that need tending to!
.flame off
<Disclaimer: I like Liz. I am honored to be flamed by Talk.Bizarre's
best (and only, it appears) flamer. This is the net.
It is not reality. I know this comes as a bit of a shock
to some of you, but learn to live with it.>
Oh yeah... For you timid t.b'ers with your little quivering rabbit noses
peeking out of your holes... note the follow-up to alt.flame. You can
come out now, but don't worry! I'll be back! Perhaps after reflecting
on your churlishness, you'll give me a friendlier reception next time.
--
-- Andy