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Angelina Jolie has the right idea
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Ken Johnson
May 14, 2013, 1:37:11 PM5/14/13
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Mr Oakshott Panhandle of Enfield, London, learned that he is affected by a broken gene which makes it 87% probable that he will be killed in a road accident. Immediately, he arranged to be run over by a steamroller. "I might as well get it over with," he explained through a medium after his death, "I realised that I don't have to wait until the fatal collision actually happens. Why not arrange to receive all those tiresome injuries now, so that the defective gene can't do me any further damage?"
The chairman of the Automobile Association, Mrs Grumbling Pillowcase, popped up and commented, "Mr Panhandle's gesture is a very sensible response to the discovery of these seriously defective genes. If everyone else does the same thing, it will dramatically reduce the death rate on our roads."
Doctor Eugene Photograph of the Bagpuss Hospital for the Terminally Flattened explained that the gene which makes Mr Panhandle so likely to die in a road accident is the one that causes motorists to drive defective vehicles, go extremely fast along residential streets, drink enormous amounts of alcohol and yap on a mobile phone, all at the same time. "Mr Panhandle does not actually carry this gene, but many motorists do," he added as Mr Panhandle's remains were slid under the hospital door, "so he'll probably get killed on the roads eventually, as will I."
Mr Panhandle was 51.
Ken Johnson
The chairman of the Automobile Association, Mrs Grumbling Pillowcase, popped up and commented, "Mr Panhandle's gesture is a very sensible response to the discovery of these seriously defective genes. If everyone else does the same thing, it will dramatically reduce the death rate on our roads."
Doctor Eugene Photograph of the Bagpuss Hospital for the Terminally Flattened explained that the gene which makes Mr Panhandle so likely to die in a road accident is the one that causes motorists to drive defective vehicles, go extremely fast along residential streets, drink enormous amounts of alcohol and yap on a mobile phone, all at the same time. "Mr Panhandle does not actually carry this gene, but many motorists do," he added as Mr Panhandle's remains were slid under the hospital door, "so he'll probably get killed on the roads eventually, as will I."
Mr Panhandle was 51.
Ken Johnson
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