Consistent discipline is nonsense

[Alan Forrester]

I recently found out that there is a Stack Exchange for parenting and
I was reading through responses to one of the questions:

http://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8095/my-pre-schooler-does-not-listen-to-anything-i-say-or-do?rq=1

and I found this comment, which is bone-headed thuggery disguised as
reasonable advice:

> It's important that you keep your cool so that you don't make any outrageous disciplinary "threats" that you aren't going to follow through with anyway. Take yourself and your words seriously, and be consistent with whatever type of discipline you choose. Here are some communication tactics that will help with cooperation:lifehacker.com/… Read the bit about "stop repeating yourself".

How can you "be consistent" with discipline? That would have to mean
there is some explanation for what the parent is doing that your child
can follow and that he agrees with that explanation. If he can't
follow it, then the parent's attacks will look random. If he can
follow the explanation and thinks it has a flaw then the parent's
actions will look inconsistent.

If the parent has given an explanation of the kind that would make
discipline "consistent" then the child would want to enact it and
hurting him to get him to enact it would be unnecessary.

Alan

[Elliot Temple]

On Jan 16, 2014, at 2:01 AM, Alan Forrester <alanmichae...@googlemail.com> wrote:

> I recently found out that there is a Stack Exchange for parenting and
> I was reading through responses to one of the questions:
>
> http://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8095/my-pre-schooler-does-not-listen-to-anything-i-say-or-do?rq=1

link says:

> My son is only 2, and the repetition is already very frustrating. Unfortunately, repeating yourself, calmly yet firmly, is the best way to get through to your kids.

so her first answer wasn’t satisfactory and her solution is to repeat it for years until kid gives up on understanding anything :((((

> and I found this comment, which is bone-headed thuggery disguised as
> reasonable advice:
>
>> It's important that you keep your cool so that you don't make any outrageous disciplinary "threats" that you aren't going to follow through with anyway. Take yourself and your words seriously, and be consistent with whatever type of discipline you choose. Here are some communication tactics that will help with cooperation:lifehacker.com/… Read the bit about "stop repeating yourself".
>
> How can you "be consistent" with discipline? That would have to mean
> there is some explanation for what the parent is doing that your child
> can follow and that he agrees with that explanation. If he can't
> follow it, then the parent's attacks will look random. If he can
> follow the explanation and thinks it has a flaw then the parent's
> actions will look inconsistent.
>
> If the parent has given an explanation of the kind that would make
> discipline "consistent" then the child would want to enact it and
> hurting him to get him to enact it would be unnecessary.

yes they're fucking awful. here's another one:

http://www.dragonboxapp.com

> Secretly teaches algebra to your children!
> You will wish you had it when you were young!

DIAF

> Share the joy of learning algebra!

So, why keep joy secret?

Lying scum.

The worst part is I can imagine a lot of children might prefer this thing to the algebra education they are currently receiving.


-- Elliot Temple
http://elliottemple.com/

[Erin Minter]

> On Jan 16, 2014, at 5:01 AM, Alan Forrester <alanmichae...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> I recently found out that there is a Stack Exchange for parenting and
> I was reading through responses to one of the questions:
>
> http://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/8095/my-pre-schooler-does-not-listen-to-anything-i-say-or-do?rq=1
>
> and I found this comment, which is bone-headed thuggery disguised as
> reasonable advice:
>
>> It's important that you keep your cool so that you don't make any outrageous disciplinary "threats" that you aren't going to follow through with anyway. Take yourself and your words seriously, and be consistent with whatever type of discipline you choose. Here are some communication tactics that will help with cooperation:lifehacker.com/… Read the bit about "stop repeating yourself".
>
> How can you "be consistent" with discipline? That would have to mean
> there is some explanation for what the parent is doing that your child
> can follow and that he agrees with that explanation. If he can't
> follow it, then the parent's attacks will look random.

Yes.

> If he can
> follow the explanation and thinks it has a flaw then the parent's
> actions will look inconsistent.

By "inconsistent" here, do you mean that the parent's actions don't make sense and contain contradictions?

> If the parent has given an explanation of the kind that would make
> discipline "consistent" then the child would want to enact it and
> hurting him to get him to enact it would be unnecessary.

Yeah, unfortunately these parents don't think of the word "consistent" like that. They think it just means "every time". And since they are focused on superficial behaviors, they think what counts is superficial behaviors that happen "every time/consistently". So when kid gets caught doing behavior A, the parent needs to "every time" respond with punishment B.

Even if the parents position is the one *inconsistent* with the truth of the matter.

Erin