Like A Pizza
Bubba Lual
First of all, it's unhealthy, but also I almost always see something better on the menu than bread with cheese. It just seems like a cop-out. Most pizza is food for an underdeveloped palate. To me, the reason kids like pizza is the same reason they like Kraft macaroni and cheese or grilled cheese sandwiches. Because there isn't a lot to it.
But I feel like the kind of person that's really "into pizza" is the same kind of person that was really into donuts with bacon on them a while back. When someone currently has the word "pizza" in their Instagram username, I think of someone wearing an Urban Outfitters sweatshirt with pizza printed all over it, and they want to take you to a Steve Aoki concert. A late adopter who claims they're into cocktails, but only knows one cocktail and it's an Old Fashioned that they saw on Mad Men.
I think there's a market for it right now, like there was one for bacon a few years ago, where people think that it somehow represents them. Like, "I'm fun! I don't care about my health! I like this thing that makes you feel young or alive," or something like that. But it's just really oversaturated. Just now, out of curiosity, I searched the hashtag "#pizza" just to see what would come up. And it was all people I did not want to meet. With a limited amount of time on Earth, I would rather talk to people who are observant enough to pursue their own interests beyond cultural trends for the sake of cultural trends. It's become this absolute lowest common denominator meme.
I understand why it's so popular. It's always going to be the lowest price point in any nice restaurant that serves it, and it's also available by the slice for $2 or whatever, which makes it attractive to any young person looking for something gives you a sort of immediate visceral satisfaction for very little money. It also represents a certain type of nostalgia, because as kids there were always pizza parties in school, or contests where if you read enough books you got a free pizza. It's associated with celebration or happiness to a lot of people. But a really nice Porterhouse represents celebration or happiness to me. I could eat bread with cheese on it any time.
In New York, I don't even really notice pizza places anymore. They really don't call to me. I've heard things like "Even the worst slice in New York is better than the best slice in California." That's not true. There is a lot of really terrible pizza here, much of which I've drunkenly sampled over the years. To me, it's just not that interesting.
I would rather have tacos. They're in the same price range, but don't leave you with that disgusting feeling after eating a slice of shitty pizza. Shitty late-night street pizza requires layering on as many of the condiments as possible to even make it taste like anything.
I think it's immature when people have clung to things like pizza as part of their identity. I worry about people, honestly, who want to define themselves by a food they eat. I would probably guess that a guy who takes a girl out to pizza has his life less together than a guy who takes his girl out to a steak dinner. That's just my guess. But maybe I'm wrong, and they are just super fun.
When most people think about songs to send someone to piss them off, they think of meme classic "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Not me. I think of something far stranger, less mainstream, with much more mysterious origins. I think of "We Like Pizza" by (who else?) Pizza Kids. Specifically, my mind goes to this 4:3 static image version uploaded to YouTube ten years ago:
This is my "Never Gonna Give You Up." For a decade, my sister has been sending me this video at random (our own custom Rickroll), but she also sends it any time either of us talks about pizza, which is a lot. And it doesn't stop with me. She sends it to her friends, her closer coworkers, and the rest of our family. When I asked my sister how she initially found the song, she said that one of her best friend's ex-boyfriends showed it to her, at which point they all watched it on loop. (My sister says, however, that this ex-boyfriend "cannot be interviewed because he doesn't deserve that celebrity.")
And so too have I carried on this family tradition, this vital duty of my bloodline. I send "We Like Pizza" to anyone I can, whenever I can. Sometimes I send it to someone because they're talking about pizza. Sometimes I just send it to someone because I hate them, or because I love them very much.
"We Like Pizza" is, in short, weird as hell. The song is a 2006 single from German studio Allmusica, and seems to be one of their last releases. The 2006 release date is the first thing that struck me when researching this song; the Techno 101 beat feels like it cannot possibly be more recent than other relics like 2000's "Hamster Dance." Perhaps the most memorable part of the song (except for all of it, because it's only two verses repeated several times) is the moment when the children list what they like on their pizza, and one child simply says, "I like pizza with tomato," followed by a long, uncomfortable silence.
Some members of Gen Z might be familiar with the song thanks to Roblox, an online game platform that allows users to program their own games for fellow users to play. Within Roblox's popular Cleaning Simulator there exists an Easter egg where the player can find a cassette tape, put it into a boombox, and enjoy a "We Like Pizza" dance party with their friends. What a life this song has had!
In 2018, Pizza Kids and Allmusica evidently decided to capitalize on this meme status, as well as the high profit margins of YouTube videos for kids. Pizza Kids started a YouTube channel to host different versions of the now classic hit (and also a cover of Vengaboys' "Boom Boom Boom Boom!!" for some reason). These aren't re-recorded versions of "We Like Pizza," to be clear. They're all using the same vocal recording, now years old, just backed by slightly different beats.
And the channel's inclusion of an official lyric video is not to be missed. The video begins with an ominous hum as we look down onto a glowing, beautiful earth from the perspective of space. Slowly, metallic all-caps letters fly into frame, suspensefully spelling out . . . "PIZZA KIDS." The video then hard pivots to unhinged Fiverr-esque animation typical of other kids' music channels. Like the music itself, the animation simply repeats. It's unhinged and awful, and I love it.
Ryne Sandberg is as good of a person off the field as he was a player on it. He took the time to work with us directly in help creating these designs! His objective in partnering with us to make t-shirts is to:
With that being said, he wants to give you the option of where your donation goes as perhaps one foundation resonates more with you. Please see below and select where you'd like your donation to go to.
Ah,there are just tree roots under the ground it's feeding on, if that's what you're worried about. None of my finds were growing directly from the tree. They were off in the grass a few feet from the tree growing off of the underground root system.
I would not use a mushroom collected from an urban roadside (as was the case with the one pictured). Same with chemically maintained lawns like golf courses. I don't think being close to the Jacks is a problem. But if I were to use the Ganoderma seen in the photo I'd still trim away parts making contact with the Omphalotus fruit bodies. Something like a Destroying Angel amanita would scare me more than Omphalotus.
We were right near the market, and realized that everything we needed for the meal would fit in my bike basket: pizza dough, tomatoes, greens, little bocconcini balls. We already had dressing ingredients.
Meanwhile, while focaccia bakes, add lettuce, tomatoes, onion, and bocconcini to a bowl. In a separate container, whisk together red wine, olive oil, oregano, salt and pepper. After focaccia croutons have cooled a bit, add them to the bowl. Drizzle vinaigrette on top and toss everything together. Top with Parm and basil if using. Serve.
How do you acquire pantry staples like salt/pepper/oil/vinegar on vacation? Do you go grocery shopping and buy those things? Only rent places that stock those ingredients? What about knives?? My experience with vacation rentals is dull knives and a set of warped non-stick cookware. Aghhh. My nightmare. ?
I have missed the doughy quality in my pizza crusts and Three Bakers delivered with their line of pizzas! The sauce and cheese are absolutely amazing and well proportioned. Whether you get this pizza with or without toppings, you will not be disappointed. I have tried each flavor: plain cheese, sausage, and pepperoni and all of them have made me extremely happy.
Pizza! Just the word alone gets my stomach rumbling and my cravings kicked into high-gear! And you know what's even better than Pizza? Vegan Pizza!! Who doesn't love a freshly made pizza topped with all the goodies and ooey-gooey melty vegan cheese? I have a few pizza recipes to share with you here and I would be hard-pressed to pick a favourite. Although, if you are struggling to pick just one, why not try my Vegan Creamy Pesto Pizza to start?
While looking to verify this idea, I found a recipe that gave me a few more pieces of inspiration. Instead of carmelized sugar banana slices, try dried fruits (strawberries, sweetened cranberries, raspberries, etc.) for your toppings. These will look like sausage bits or pepperoni. You can also use pineapple and make it look like a Hawaiian pizza.
I'd try something like brioche- or challah-type dough + raspberry jam + white chocolate shavings + raspberry fruit leather cut into rounds with a cookie cutter. It could also work with a shortbread dough - think Linzer cookies. (Just make sure to choose a softer shortbread rather than a crispy one, otherwise it'll be very hard to slice.) If you don't oversweeten the crust and use a good raspberry jam (perhaps a no-sugar-added all-fruit one), it shouldn't be too sweet, and raspberries & white chocolate is always a good combination.
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