[Mathew Moothasseril]

The act of giving
Published on: 10:07 pm, November 25, 2017 by: mattersindia.com



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Generosity has gotten itself a bad name. Introduced to most of us in
preachy, didactic Moral Science textbooks with terribly sanctimonious
illustrations, being generous was often viewed as a faraway, overtly
pious ideal that no youngster would like to be caught aspiring to –
lest he be mocked at for being sanyasi-like.

But it looks like generosity is emerging out of its holier-than-thou
shell. Saints and philosophers have long viewed generosity as one of
life’s greatest paradoxes – the more you give, the more you get; the
more you lose, the more you win. And now scientists are saying it too.

Tested & proven
In the latest of a series of research experiments, researchers from
the University of Zurich told 50 people that they would be given $100
each. Half of them were asked to spend it on themselves and the other
half had to spend it on someone they knew. They were then brought to a
lab, as the scientists wanted to test if just pledging to be generous
could make a person happier.

In the lab, they were asked to think about the person they would like
to spend the money on and functional MRI scans were performed on them.
The scientists discovered that those who had pledged to spend the
money on other people had more interaction in the parts of the brain
associated with happiness, altruism and social behaviour. They also
reported greater levels of happiness after the experiment. Earlier
studies have shown that people who are generous tend to have better
health in terms of reduced stress and increased positivity.

Mavericks of generosity
All this sounds nice and pleasing. But real life is greyer and starker
than sterile labs. It does make one wonder if generosity is as
straightforward a concept as research seems to suggest. Is it another
of those neo-modern tropes that we have been compelled to believe?
Does being generous really makes one happy?

Acclaimed novelist Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi believes so. “You are
never poorer for what you give away. And when I have done even a small
act of generosity, I always get this feeling that someone has done me
a favour for what they receive,” he says. He goes on to talk about
some “mavericks of generosity” he knows at the animal charity Wagoa to
which he contributes a part of his income. “There are real heroes out
there who gift their presence – they are the truly generous people,”
he adds.

It is of course hard to deny that they are. Elizabeth Gilbert, author
of Eat, Pray, Love, writes in one of her blogs that she sees
generosity as one of “humanity’s great natural watersheds – a place
where lives can be cleansed, renewed, filtered back towards grace.”

But, as she herself points out, this watershed has a delicate
eco-system – one that depends on the giver’s emotional state, social
and economic status and general dispensation to fellow beings. One
assumes these factors might have a great influence on how happy being
generous makes one feel. But Vijaya Simha’s experience rather belies
this.

A wealth management specialist, who has worked with several charities
includes Mother Teresa’s for over two decades, he says he has come
across several ‘truly’ generous souls who come from modest
backgrounds, are of limited abilities and poor health themselves but
are willing to give their entire lives for the cause they believe in;
even at the cost of staying away from their families or foregoing a
well-earned retirement. “I don’t deny that sometimes they do because
of a strong sense of religious duty but there are many who do not fall
into any category – they create the inspiring stories we read.”
Let’s get real

But what about real, everyday life?

These are, as Shanghvi calls them, ‘mavericks’. But even in our
everyday life with our mundane jobs and never-ending chores, it is
possible to squeeze out some happiness with what Anupriya Kalyan, a
baker mom, calls ‘everyday kindnesses’.

Anupriya has got together other like-minded mothers in her apartment
complex and has a monthly bake-off to pack goodies for a nearby
orphanage. “Needless to say, it gives us a sense of great joy, a
feeling of having been useful,” she says. Simha agrees wholeheartedly.
“In a way, it is a different type of happiness. When you make a right
call or intellectually you prove a point against a strong opponent,
you do feel happy. But along with that there usually is a sense of
pride or power. But when you do something charitable without any
expectation, you feel humble and emotional.”

Clinical neuropsychologist Shantala Hegde says the underlying
psychological phenomena in generosity is empathy. “Empathy is
pro-social behaviour and a crucial component of good mental health. It
has survival value too,” she says.

Utpal Barua, a research officer in a financial services MNC, says his
life experiences have made him certain that the quality of happiness
that is the result of being kind is deeper. “In my understanding, this
is an evolutionary feeling that stems out of our ancestors’ need to
cooperate with each other for our species to thrive.” He may well be
right but what about the expectations of the giver? Utpal says the
question of gratitude and acknowledgment does not occur as much with
strangers as it does with family and friends. “I admit, I do feel let
down if a friend or a family member does not even express gratitude
for my generosity – this too is human nature,” he says.

Indeed it is. The same researchers who tell us that even thinking
about being generous makes a difference also caution that this
‘feel-good’ effect of generosity might be dampened by expecting
something in return. This ‘something’ varies from person to person; it
might be publicity as Mr Simha points out, gratitude that Utpal is
talking about or even plain personal gains that people expect from
so-called selfless acts.

Still, everyone who has ever been generous, big or small, say
unequivocally that it is worth giving a shot. As bestselling author of
The Art of Work Jeff Goins writes, generosity is as much about courage
as it is about happiness. “We must dare to be generous. It is an
audacious idea and certainly not easy but it is the only path to
genuine satisfaction.”
Happily, that makes generosity sound sexy. And that can only be a good thing.
(Source: deccanherald)

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*GATHER THE SCATTERED*

Fr Mathew Moothasseril
Sant Thoma Bhavan
Post Box 306
RAMAN MALA
Kolhapur,416 003
Maharashtra
INDIA