541 DEARBORN AVE.,
CHICAGO,
28 June, 1894.
DEAR__ ,
The other day I received a letter from G. G., Mysore. G. G.
unfortunately thinks that I am all-knowing, else he would have
written his Canarese address on the top of the letter more
legibly. Then again it is a great mistake to address me letters to
any other place but Chicago. It was my mistake of course at first,
because I ought to have thought of the fine Buddhi (intellect) of
our friends who are throwing letters at me anywhere they find an
address at the top. But tell our Madras Brihaspatis (i.e. wise
fellows) that they already knew full well that before their
letters reach, I may be 1000 miles away from that particular
place, for I am continuously travelling. In Chicago there is a
friend whose house is my headquarters.
Now as to my prospects here — it is well-nigh zero. Why, because
although I had the best purpose, it has been made null and void by
these causes. All that I get about India is from Madras letters.
Your letters say again and again how I am being praised in India.
But that is between you and me, for I never saw a single Indian
paper writing about me, except the three square inches sent to me
by Alasinga. On the other hand, everything that is said by
Christians in India is sedulously gathered by the missionaries and
regularly published, and they go from door to door to make my
friends give me up. They have succeeded only too well, for there
is not one word for me from India. Indian Hindu papers may laud me
to the skies, but not a word of that ever came to America, so that
many people in this country think me a fraud. In the face of the
missionaries and with the jealousy of the Hindus here to back
them, I have not a word to say.
I now think it was foolish of me to go to the Parliament on the
strength of the urging of the Madras boys. They are boys after
all. Of course, I am eternally obliged to them, but they are after
all enthusiastic young men without any executive abilities. I came
here without credentials. How else to show that I am not a fraud
in the face of the missionaries and the Brahmo Samaj? Now I
thought nothing so easy as to spend a few words; I thought nothing
would be so easy as to hold a meeting of some respectable persons
in Madras and Calcutta and pass a resolution thanking me and the
American people for being kind to me and sending it over
officially, i.e. through the Secretary of the function, to
America, for instance, sending one to Dr. Barrows and asking him
to publish it in the papers and so on, to different papers of
Boston, New York, and Chicago. Now after all, I found that it is
too terrible a task for India to undertake. There has not been one
voice for me in one year and every one against me, for whatever
you may say of me in your homes, who knows anything of it here?
More than two months ago I wrote to Alasinga about this. He did
not even answer my letter. I am afraid his heart has grown
lukewarm. So you must first think of that and then show this
letter to the Madras people. On the other hand, my brethren
foolishly talk nonsense about Keshab Sen; and the Madrasis,
telling the Theosophists anything I write about them, are creating
only enemies. . . . Oh! If only I had one man of some true
abilities and brains to back me in India! But His will be done. I
stand a fraud in this country. It was my foolishness to go to the
Parliament without any credentials, hoping that there would be
many for me. I have got to work it out slowly.
On the whole, the Americans are a million times nobler than the
Hindus, and I can work more good here than in the country of the
ingrate and the heartless. After all, I must work my Karma out. So
far as pecuniary circumstances go I am all right and will be all
right. The number of Theosophists in all America is only 625 by
the last census. Mixing up with them will smash me in a minute
rather than help me in any way. What nonsense does Alasinga mean
by my going to London to see Mr. Old etc. Fool! the boys there
don't know what they are talking. And this pack of Madras babies
cannot even keep a counsel in their blessed noodles! Talk nonsense
all day, and when it comes to the least business, they are
nowhere! Boobies, who cannot get up a few meetings of 50 men each
and send up a few empty words only to help me, talk big about
influencing the world. I have written to you about the phonograph.
Now there is here an electric fan costing $20 and working
beautifully. The battery works 100 hours and then can be
replenished at any electric plant. Good-bye, I have had enough of
the Hindus. Now His will be done, I obey and bow down to my Karma.
However, do not think me ungrateful. . . . The Madras people have
done for me more than I deserved and more than was in their power.
It was my foolishness — the forgetting for a moment that we Hindus
have not yet become human beings and giving up for a moment my
self-reliance and relying upon the Hindus — that I came to grief.
Every moment I expected something from India. No, it never came.
Last two months especially I was in torture at every moment. No,
not even a newspaper from India! My friends waited — waited month
after month; nothing came, not a voice. Many consequently grew
cold and at last gave me up. But it is the punishment for relying
upon man and upon brutes, for our countrymen are not men as yet.
They are ready to be praised, but when their turn comes even to
say a word, they are nowhere.
My thanks eternal to the Madras young men. May the Lord bless them
for ever. America is the best field in the world to carry on my
idea; so I do not think of leaving America soon. And why? Here I
have food and drink and clothes, and everybody so kind, and all
this for a few good words! Why should I give up such a noble
nation to go to the land of brutes and ingrates and the brainless
boobies held in eternal thraldom of superstitious, merciless,
pitiless wretches? So good-bye again. You may show this letter to
the people with discretion, even Alasinga upon whom I built so
much. By the by, will you kindly send up a few copies of the
sketch of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa's life written by Mazumdar to
Chicago? They have lots in Calcutta. Don't forget the address 541
Dearborn Avenue (not Street), Chicago, or c/o Thomas Cook,
Chicago. Any other address would cause much delay and confusion,
as I am continually travelling, and Chicago is my headquarters,
although even this much did not come to the brains of our Madras
friends. Kindly give G. G., Alasinga, Secretary, and all others my
eternal blessings. I am always praying for their welfare, and I am
not in the least displeased with them, but I am not pleased with
myself. I committed a terrible error — of calculating upon others'
help — once in my life — and I have paid for it. It was my fault
and not theirs. Lord bless all the Madras people. They are at
least far superior to the Bengalis, who are simply fools and have
no souls, no stamina at all. Good-bye, good-bye. I have launched
my boat in the waves, come what may. Regarding my brutal
criticisms, I have really no right to make them. You have done for
me infinitely more than I deserve. I must bear my own Karma, and
that without a murmur. Lord bless you all.
Yours truly,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. I am afraid Alasinga's college has closed, but I have no
intimation of it, and he never gave me his home address. Kidi has
dropped out, I am afraid.
FRIDAY, June 28, 1895. (The entire party went on a
picnic for the day, and although the Swami taught constantly,
as he did wherever he was, no notes were taken and no record,
therefore, of what he said remains. As he began his breakfast
before setting out, however, he remarked:)
Be thankful for all food, it is Brahman. His universal energy
is transmuted into our
individual energy and helps us in all that we do.
To Dr. Paul Carus - June
[May] 28, '95
DEAR SIR,
I am just now in receipt of your
letter and will be very happy to join the religions Congress
at Toronto. Only, as you are well aware of, the financial
means of a "Bhikshu" (A Hindu or Buddhist monk.) are very
limited. I will be only too glad to do anything in my power
to help you and wait further particulars and directions.
Hoping to hear from you soon and thanking you very much for your
great sympathy with Buddhistic India.
Failure