From a land where Autumn never comes...

[Sarah]

    I live in Florida and this is always the worst time of year. Lingering summer weather- bright sun, high temps and wet, sauna like air- I wander my air-conditioned cave like a zombie- feeling completely cut off from the world. I've been doing some intense bike-riding in the morn and evening and that is helping- but staying awake during the brightest part of the day is becoming harder and harder. I don’t know if I am emotionally depressed or my body just doesn’t want to eat, sleep, stay awake, move - even my bowls stop working. I have no drive, no appetite and my health has been so erratic that I haven’t been able to hold down a job in 8 years.

I was really proud of myself for bravely enduring a terribly hot summer this year. I tried to keep my complaining to a minimum and my daughter says it was my best summer in of the 8 years I have lived here. Some new regimens of vitamins and supplements helped this year and I only got my usual fevers a couple of times. But now I am having trouble staying alert and keeping my spirits up.

The winter has always been a very renewing period for me, but alas, the winters in the Tampa Bay area are not much to look foward to. The cold I need to rev up my metabolism lacks , and so does the dimming light. Just a few hours’ drive north, slightly cooler, drier air awaits- but also blinding sun.

We also have waves of tepid humidity rolling in from the Gulf of Mexico during the winter, so that it is too warm to turn on the heat and too cool for the ac. We get most of our mold this time of year. The sun, the humidity, the mold, the heat - after eighteen years in this state, as you can imagine, I am a different person than when I left Maryland 18 years ago. I feel I am a burden on my family because of my inability to work and sometimes even look after myself. Simple tasks seem so arduous. Everything feels so heavy. My first 15 years in this state I cried constantly, longing for the winter or change of seasons. I am now beginning to forget what that feels like- our winters have been so temperate and mild the last few years.

If I dare speak of my feelings to anyone down here they get so mad and treat me as if I am so ungrateful and recount the miseries of shoveling snow and claim I only remember winters as a child-and that were I to go back now, I would regret ever leaving Florida. My husband tells me “you’re pathetic here, you’ll be pathetic there,” and that I’ve been sickly since he met me (we met in Florida).

Normally I cling to hope but my will is getting weaker. Should I just drop everything and leave? A question only I can answer. I should have done it eighteen years ago but I thought it was all in my head. Now I know it is not. But am I too far gone? Would a change of climate help me now that I’m 36 yrs old??

I think of all the years wasted here- all the months I spent in bed with fevers, not knowing what was wrong with me- all the money spent on vitamins and at first gluten free foods, then no grains, then no meat, then only fruits and vegees, and now jalepenos and hot peppers to help me get by- along with methionine taken with b-complex (with methylcolbalamin b-12), minerals, florastor and guar gum fiber, digestive herbs, hcl and pepsin. It all helps but little change.

Will I regret not leaving sooner? Is it worth it? Sometimes I forget what Autumn smells like. I dare not visit the Carolinas or anywhere too far north too often- it is a cruel tease. And there’s the danger I might not return.

Don’t get me wrong- I am sooo grateful for the health I have been afforded in this harsh climate and the supplements and prayers of friends that have helped me survive. Things could be worse- but there is no one else to share with. Most people in FL come here because they think it is paradise.

Thanks for listening and to everyone:

Happy Autumn!

Wendy

[Lex Wahl]

Hi Wendy,

The "lost" time in the heat won't mean a thing once you get to an atmosphere that makes you happy.

I lived in an extremely hot and weather-less area for 8  years; I now live close to the beach where there are morning clouds, much cooler weather, wind--and if it's gonna rain, I'll see that rain. Since I've lived here, I am not kicking myself for not doing it sooner. I just find that I am happy here.

The past will help you appreciate the present.

Maybe you should get professional help to get you through your tough time. 

Lex

[Saskia]

This is just my experience, but unlike Lex I am kicking myself for not moving sooner, I do consider the last few years to be somewhat "lost", but at the same time I don't blame myself for not doing it sooner--I don't blame anyone...you just learn to reconcile it. 

Before I moved to the coast, like Lex, I was living in a near constant state of Summer SAD and didn't even know what I had.....it took me about 1.5 years after I learned about it to finally orchestrate the move....about six months of that time I spent apartment hunting for the perfect place, budgeting, selling off furniture, etc.  In fact I was stubborn at first, thinking that I could "get through" living in our old place, but luckily my husband pushed me through--basically I was still in denial about the Summer SAD--and really it's a big thing to completely change things to accomodate it, but I can safely say that moving has been the best decision I've made in four years! 

[Saskia]

I'd like to add that I totally agree with what Lex said about the present helping to appreciate the past....and just being happy with being happy again!  I'm so grateful for it, it's reallly all that counts.

[Xyloph...@gmail.com]

I think that if you have the money and the abilaty to move then move!
I don't have yet the money and the abilaties to move wisely. but when
i do i'm going to move withot second Thought!
But it must be done wisely and carefully Thought out. I've done a
great mistake with that. Me and my family used to move all through out
the years small distances that didn't really metter a thing (exept one
place witch was notesibly cooler but my parents couldn't find a job
there so we moved back to the heat:(
Don't make that mistake - move wisly. it's only a money question.
by the way i just watched the weather mape of the world yesturday to
see witch countries has hotter temps then my hellish country israel. i
saw that Florida was a bit hoter then my place:( and also thailand
egypt and Hindia were hoter. even los angeles was cooler by 5 deegres
at least. it's not fair! the rest of the world is much cooler! we live
in one of the hottest countries of the world. it's not fair that
people enjoy nice weathers in other countries and we suffer hell in
ours!
Move if you can.

[Wendy]

Thank you, Lex.  One rare cool, cloudy day in December has been able to erase all memory of my SAD- the mind can forget pain so easily- and it is true, since I have moved to Florida, I appreciate a grey sky like I never would have in Maryland. 

[Wendy]

Thank you, Saskia.  I understand- procrastinating the move is sometimes part of the denial- a denial, in my case, is somewhat encouraged by my family and friends.  But I don't blame them- it's just that people come from all over the world to FL to be healthier- and the idea that warm, sunny weather can make you sick is just not an idea that they will entertain.  You were very fortunate to have a loved one push you through. Even so, I am sure it was still terribly difficult and you were very brave.  I on the other hand, probably need to stop waiting for the approval of others to live my life- or I will live to regret it.   

 

    I am encouraged that with almost every post I've read, people seem to be really satisfied with their decision to move.  My biggest fear is that I sacrifice my life here and end up still sick somewhere else.  But I don't believe that will happen and I think it is a risk worth taking.

 

Wendy

----- Original Message -----

From: Saskia

To: summe...@googlegroups.com

Sent: Sunday, October 12, 2008 12:31 PM

Subject: Re: From a land where Autumn never comes...

[Wendy]

Xylophone- Believe it or not, I can somewhat sympathize-About 12 years ago I
spent 6 weeks visiting a neighboring country comparable in weather- Egypt.
Though I loved the people and the culture, the blinding sun and temps 113+
in June (which everyone said was rare and that I had been just unlucky with
the weather) made life there seem unbearable. The afternoon sun pierced
through even the heavy, wooden, tightly-slitted shutters. I was in a nice
suburb of Cairo which fortunately was landscaped with a few fruit trees and
shrubs. Driving around town though my eyes became parched for greenery.
I had the pleasure of visiting Alexandria one day, which reminded me more of
the eastern coast of Central Florida (where I lived at the time) with its
palm trees, beach hotels and cool meditteranean breezes. Cairo's weather
however, is more like Tampa's- same intensity of the sun only less humidity.
I found out the people of Egypt survive by closing shop and napping in
the afternoon and reopening in the cool of the evening. Do the Isreali
people do this too? This cultural practice really seemed to help. Also, on
a cool evening, sleeping on the balcony after a cup of fresh mint tea can be
very therapeutic- if you can keep the mosquitos away.
Your advice is very good- going back could be very disheartening: I once
visited Indiana for a few days . I cried for a week after returning to the
sweltering heat of Tampa FL- but after a month, life returns to normal and
one can almost forget that there is "somewhere else."
I wish you all the best in someday finding a cooler destination.
Thanks, Wendy

[Saskia]

Hi Wendy!  I'm glad you feel encouraged!  If you are still in doubt maybe you should take that trip you were worried about not coming back from....if you still feel the way you did when you came back from Indiana then you have your answer!  "  I cried for a week after returning to the

sweltering heat of Tampa FL- but after a month, life returns to normal and
one can almost forget that there is "somewhere else."

I have to respond to this because I felt the same way when I came back from a trip to Seattle last July--it rained for a week, things are green, gray, cool, for the most part, and when I returned to Los Angeles it was a 90+ heat wave, intense sun, and smoggy and gross and when my hubby picked me up from the airport I just burst into tears.  But humans  are adaptable for a reason...it's in our nature to try to adapt, so even though I was longing to return I just tried to make the best of it, you know how that is ;-)  But I was ready to risk my marriage to find peace again.....

I guess in Florida you can't just make an easy move like we can here on the west coast.....my move to Santa Monica was a change because the area  is made up of microclimates, and while not exactly escaping Summer SAD provided enough relief to make life here bearable....I'd have preferred a move 1,000+ miles north, and to be honest can't imagine how much more effort that would take and  as you said sacrificing things.  I know of a lot of people who stick things out because of friends and family, and it's a hard decision.

Whatever you do this list is here to support you ;-) 

Saskia

[Xyloph...@gmail.com]

Hi Wendy! no the Israeli don't close shopes and buisnesses in the noon
time. morning and noon are the most active times here while in the
evening everything closes. it makes no sence of cours, but thats
israel all over! even in spain and argentina people do the siesta, and
they are much cooler countries!
I wanted to go to egypt once, but i don't want to spend money visiting
hot country when i can spend it on visiting in cold country.
I think it's best for us all Summer SAD sufferers to visit only cool
countris when we can have a vacation. places like scandinavia, Alaska,
Canada would be wonderful for a vacation. I'm dying to visit Norway or
Sweden some day...

[Wendy]

Very good advice about taking that trip and see how I feel when I get back.

Seattle- it's like a mythic place to me- a city with mountain views, dimly lighted sky, clouds and cool year round.  Of course the Pacific Northwest has been one of the places of obscession and wonder for me from time to time- but I always find ways of talking myself out of going.  I saw a documentary on Lewis and Clark and was surprised to learn that the most miserable part of the trip was not traversing snow and ice, canoeing through white water or spending a harsh Minnesota winter couped up in the smoke filled huts of Indians and raunchy fur traders, but spending a rainy winter along the Oregon Coast, somewhere near Astoria I think, in a small cabin.  Probably the safest part of the journey, and with plenty of friendly Indian tribes to trade with, this should have been a pleasant time.  But they wrote that the pitter-patter of the endless rain drove them all almost insane- not to mention the climate's affect on their health.  They suffered more colds, flus and rheumatism than any other part of the trip. Historians say had they camped just 40 miles inland, the climate would have been completely different and bearable. 

    It is a dream of mine to move to Portland, sell my car and bicycle everywhere but I wonder how a weather sensitive person might fare living with an endless drizzle.  I think I'd be alright as long as I was outdoors a good part of the day.  But Seattle is so beautiful, and so far north, the sky and the architecture and the ferries- its hard to imagine one getting depressed there.  I guess what deters most people is the high cost of living and the high-pressure yuppy lifestyle which gives it one of the highest divorce and suicide rates in the country.  Or is that just a myth? 

    My brother is a fire-fighter for the federal gov't and from time to time takes trips out West to fight wildfires.  He's been to Montana, Northern CA, and Medford Oregon and he said Medford is by far the most beautiful place he's ever been.  It is a high desert and the word "desert" is almost enough to make me write it off- but it's a desert with mountains and trees, so how bad could it be?

    Coos Bay was on my list of move to's for a while- close to the beach, a layed back atmosphere with some good job prospects for my husband and realtively warm, temperate climate (my husband cannot take any cold).  But then I read how it is one of the meth capitals of the world, moldy and had terrible schools.  It's so hard to guage a place from the internet.  If anyone reading has been to any of these places and would like to confirm or dispell any of  this hearsay about them, please do.

 

Well Saskia, I am so glad you have found some place bearable.  I know that in a few weeks, there will be at least few days here that will be bearable too.  There will be some winter days, all green and gray that end with a purple and peach emblazened sky- and the cooler air from the panhandle will blow across the water and give what is now a warm murky gulf, at least a psychological tint, of icy aqua.  There will be days when my SAD will be like a bad dream and I will wonder how a place with such beautiful moments could ever frighten me and send me into a mental and physical place where I never want to return.  

 

Thanks for the support,

[Wendy]

No, I would never recommend Egypt for us. I had a terrible time because
everyone there is so lively and I was sick the whole time with fevers and
diahrea that I almost ruined it for everyone. I have very close friends
there and I told them next time we meet it would have to be at some half way
point in Europe. My husband has an Aunt near Milan, in a small town at the
foot of the Alps. I suggested we meet our friends in Egypt there (Milan,
Italy is just a boat and train ride away from them), but he said his Aunt's
town is very depressing- cold and rainy and cloudy most of the time with
hardly any people- just mountains and sheep-and I said, 'sounds like my kind
of place, let's go!' But he won't- he's far to spoiled here in 'his' kind
of place.

Since my husband and I have such different weather needs (he spent 3 years
in Atlanta GA going to college and spent the winters literally under the
covers and didn't even go to class during the cold months except to take
tests- luckily the univ. made tapes of his lectures and he was able to
listen to them from the comfort of his bed- and Atlanta is a place I would
not even consider to be cold!) I have looked around the world for
compromises for future moves. The Azores looks really enticing. Stormy,
cool, rugged islands in the middle of the Atlantic,- the only drawback to
living there would be having to learn Portugese and being an ocean away from
all modern civilization.
Norway is also on my personal list of favorite places to visit- I'd
even like to go in the winter. The last few Decembers here have been very
warm but watching Sissel's holiday special from Norway was very
therapeutic. Of course it is night almost 24 hrs in Norway during Winter
soltice and she sang to the backdrop of the Northern Lights and showed video
of people taking winter hikes on glaciers in the twilight of winter. (Sissel
is a Norwegian singer who sings kind of like Celtic Women, only most of her
songs are in Norwegian and English. You can find her on youtube.)
For me it is the dim light as well as the cold that I crave, and after
living in FL for so long, cold doesn't have to be very cold- so I think
Ireland with all the clouds rolling off the sea and high latitude would also
be on my list.

----- Original Message -----
From: <Xyloph...@gmail.com>
To: "Summer SAD" <summe...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Monday, October 13, 2008 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: From a land where Autumn never comes...

>

[Sandi]

I took a trip to Oregon once (1996). We didn't make it to the coast. We spent 2 or 3 days in a little mountain town that a friend had recommended. It was beautiful. What your brother says is in line with my experience. I'm not familiar with that particular town, but most of the state was very dry. It only gets damp and beautiful when you get to the far western part.

The idea of Atlanta being so cold that a person wouldn't even get out of bed is insane to me. Where I live it gets down to 30 below at least once every winter. The biggest snow we've had since I moved here was about 3 feet, but the year before I moved up they had a 7 foot snow! At that time I was living at the base of the mountain. We had 4 feet during that storm. We had a very flat 1/4 mile driveway with a narrow bridge near the end. It seemed like we would never be able to drive out of there. A friend of ours who was living with us at the time had a boxer puppy that had never seen snow before. When we opened the door to let him out he was looking up at a 4 foot wall of snow :-). It really freaked him out at first, but he came to love playing in it. My big chow mix who absolutely loved snow (and who the puppy loved to chase and pester) blasted a trail for him that day.

When I lived in Texas people did not cope well during the short time of the year that it did get cold. I think part of the reason is being totally unprepared. No one there has real winter clothing, good snow boots, etc., so they can't really enjoy it. I remember going back for a visit in December one year. It was fairly cold for there and, of course, it was humid. We went to a Denny's one night. I was wearing my Sorrels and long johns and I was a bit overdressed for the weather, but not much. I was pretty comfortable. This guy came in wearing shorts and sandals just carrying on about HOW COLD it was! and everyone was agreeing with him. I wanted to throw up. Where I was living you didn't even wear shorts and sandals at night in the summer and expect to comfortable, let alone winter.

I haven't been back there in years. Whenever I would go visit I would get really sick from the pollution and after a few days I would start believing that there really was nothing else. That I had no home to go to and getting out had all been a dream. If there really was anything else out there why would anyone live in such a Hell hole?

Sandi
luna...@centurytel.net 
 
“The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.”
~Bertrand Russell
Real Food for Health and Pleasure blog! 

[Saskia]

Just quickly since I"m at work...my husband also has Winter SAD and we have to have a compromise.  He' German and hated growing up with the cold and rain, while I grew up in Seattle with the same kind of weather and loved it.  Per your earlier email, people get Summer SAD in Seattle but the season is just shorter and not as intense, and the Fall/Winter there is lovely.  It might be too gray for your husband.  However the San Juan Islands are beautiful and have much more sun while still being cool and rainy--that might work.  My husband and I have talked about New Zealand and more realistically (since we're currently in the Los Angeles area for the film industry) the Central/Northern coast of California where it's a little cooler/rainier but still more temperate and sunny.  For the moment as I said Santa Monica (on the coast) is bearable, but even still the morning I looked/felt outside and cursed (it's Santa Ana wind weather, which is very hot and smoggy).  Norway is very rainy--I think Bergen (I have a cousin who lives there) is the rain capital of Europe--maybe too gray/cold for your husband?  If you compromise and take trips to cold place you would be surprised how well you would do....when I take a trip up to visit family in Seattle it refreshes me for several months thereafter...my 'resistance" to the sunny weather here increases, for some reason, maybe psychological!  Anyway, more later!

Saskia