Answer to my problems?
Bethalea
My name is Beth and I think I might be suffering from Summer SAD.
I am part of another website where I often ask for advice. Well
recently, I've discovered that I have certain times of the year that
are just the worst for me. From March through September, everything
seems to go downhill. I start getting angry. Very angry. The slightest
thing sets me off and I completely lose my head. That's how I lose all
my friends, my boyfriends. I shut everyone out in that period because
I feel like I'm not good enough, like I'm a bad person. I don't want
to take the time and put in the effort to make friends when I feel
that it's just going to fall apart anyway.
I feel completely useless sometimes. I often just want to run away.
Just pack up everything I own, take all the money I have and just
drive as far as my car will take me. I just talked to my friend about
this a week or two ago, about just grabbing the guy I was seeing and
drive to the mountains, somewhere cold.. Start a fire and just curl up
there and stay there forever.
It says that with Summer SAD, people often stay inside. I stay inside
during the day. But I force myself to go out at night. I go out with
my friends every single night (no exaggeration), because if I stay
home, I think and I get depressed. If I do have to stay home, I get in
my car and drive around for an hour or so. I don't think when I drive.
There have been many nights this summer where I just completely lost
it. I break down. I cry until I can't breath and my whole body goes
numb. I tell everyone that I don't want to see them anymore. I just
give up. I don't care anymore. Last night was when I realized I really
need to get help. I was driving. And I had a break down. I started
crying like no other. My legs and face started going numb. I actually
started praying that a car would pull out in front of me..
I hate the heat. When I was younger, I used to be in my backyard in
the pool. But now, I can't find the energy to even get in the pool. I
hate being out in the heat. If I am, I sit in the shade. My parents
beg me to play pool volley ball with them. But I don't have the energy
to be in the heat to play. My room is the hottest room in the house
because it's right over the garage, so it takes so long for me to go
to sleep. Then when I finally fall asleep, it takes me forever to
actually wake up. I just feel so groggy and uncomfortable. I just
can't force myself to wake up. Some nights, I have to sleep on the
couch because the heat is so bad.
I can't talk to my family about this. My mom thinks I'm a
hypochondriac. Anything I read, I believe, she says. So I can't talk
to her about this. I had told her years ago that I believed I had
depression and needed to speak to someone. She didn't think I had
depression and refused to take me. So I feel very relieved that I
found this site. Maybe some of you can tell me if this sounds like
Summer SAD or not. I really would like to speak with someone about
this, but I want some opinions before I do. Just in case you were
wondering, I feel that this problem has been going on for a little
over 5 years. This year has been far worse than any other year..
That's what made me look into it.
Sorry this was so long, and thank you for reading.
-Beth
Sandi
have been taking tyrosine and phenylalanine. They work great for me.
Melatonin might be useful to you, too.
What kid of climate do you live in? You mentioned living with your
parents. May I ask how old you are?
Sandi
--
Sandi
luna...@centurytel.net
sandra hoffer
The anger and the lack of energy do sound like summer SAD. I don't know how old you are, but it can get worse as you get older - it has for me. I have not taken anything for my summer SAD, but it sounds like you should talk to a doctor, since you are having crying spells and are completely miserable. I am sorry that your family does not believe you. Can you go to the doctor on your own?
Sandra Hoffer
--- On Sun, 9/14/08, Sandi <luna...@centurytel.net> wrote:
Bev Emley
Please, oh, please, go to the doctor. This is a real problem, and the
sooner you get help the better. Good thing our weather is getting cooler
and you should feel better. Nights in my area are getting quite cool, and I
am feel better.
I hope you will take the advice of this group, they helped me tremendously,
as I thought I was going crazy! I have always liked winter and colder
weather better, but summers seemed to be getting worse every year. Guess as
you get older you can't take the heat at all! I spent a lot of time in the
pool too, now I don't have one. I keep the shutters tipped, and the rooms a
little darker and that helps!
Please keep the group posted on your health.
Bev
Katie Tynan
Bethalea
To start off, I am only 20 years old and still live at home (working
on moving out). I live near St. Louis, Missouri. I understand it's not
as hot as some places, but at the worst part in the summer, it can get
up to 100 degrees here, and the humidity is unbearable.
I forgot to mention the point of the website I'm part of earlier. I
joined this website saying that this was the worst time of the year
for me. I lose all my friends, my boyfriends, I break down. I was just
looking for some advice on how to ground myself and keep my cool, but
someone on there ended up suggesting that maybe it was due to Summer
SAD. I had heard of the winter version, but never summer. I didn't
think anything of it until I started looking at the symptoms. Even
now, as I'm typing this, I feel as though I'm overreacting, because I
feel fine right now (but it is about 65 today). It's almost like the
depression comes and goes. I think I may have depression. I look into
it. Then when I finally decide to talk to someone, I feel better. Like
right now.
I've been talking to my best friend about it. She thinks it's better
to get checked out than to wonder, which I agree with. She knows me
better than anyone. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know
myself. And what's strange is that her and I got into a fight in May,
where we didn't speak for 2 months. That's the thing with me. I have
never been able to hold on to a friend for longer than a year. We
always fight and stop talking. But occasionally, we make up and become
friends again, only to stop talking later.
I was also talking with my boss about it, who I am very close with.
And he thinks that I'm just a very emotional person, that it's not
possible that I have this disorder. And I started thinking that maybe
he was right. Maybe I'm just a little over emotional. But then again,
I could just be thinking that because I'm feeling better. When I'm
upset, I feel like there HAS to be something wrong with me. I've done
things and said things this summer that I never thought would come out
of my mouth. Then a day or two after I say them, I tell my best friend
that I feel as though I'm losing my mind because this isn't me. I'm
acting crazy. Something is wrong with me. I just feel that way. But
right now, since I'm feeling better, I feel crazy thinking that
something might be wrong.
Then I thought of another symptom that is described. Anxiety? I never
really understood what anxiety is. So I asked a coworker who has it.
And he said it's like a fear. Just having unrational fears? Is that
really what it is? If so, then there is DEFINITELY something wrong
with me. Within the last three years, I've acquired a choking fear.
I'm afraid to eat when I'm alone because I'm afraid to choke and not
be able to save myself. If I must eat, I eat things like pasta so that
I can't choke on it. Then recently, I went on vacation in Florida. I
was afraid to go parasailing. I was afraid that the cord was going to
break and I was going to fly away. Or that the chute would collapse on
top of me and I wouldn't be able to swim out from underneathe it and
I'd drown. Or that they'd go to dip me.. right into a pool of sharks
and I'd get eaten alive. Then another time, same vacation, there was a
pile of mats for the chairs outside. I wanted to climb on top of them
and pretend to be the queen of the world. But then I was scared that I
would fall off and be impaled by some random object laying nearby. I
remember posting a topic on the other website that I'm a part of,
telling them all of my completely bizarre fears, asking for help.. Is
that another symptom or am I misreading it?
Thanks again for all the responses, and again, I'm sorry it's so long.
-Beth
Saskia
here is a short blog posting I did on bi-polar to give you a quick idea and link to a website about it:
http://seasonalsad.com/?p=68
....most doctors won't know what you are talking about when you mention Summer SAD, so you might want to read through the "Library" I have on my website:
http://seasonalsad.com/?page_id=9
Take some of the more scientific ones to show your doctor. You probably won't get a sticker slapped on you that says "Summer SAD" so don't expect that mostly because most doctors simply don't know about it. My doctor said he hadn't heard of it but that it sounded probable I had it. I don't need a doctor to tell me that I have it, because I know what the sun and heat do to me, and I fit all the symptoms! See your doctor with the above caveats...and do a lot of talking and reading about it and make sure you don't have underlying problems that exacerbate things.
Speaking as someone who had terrible health problems at your age (from Celiac) I would try and focus on resolving your health now and getting on your feet in a stable way--I don't think feeling pressure to move out of your parents place is going to help you. Maybe you should just plan to stay put until you feel confident you know what is going on with your health. Unless you plan to try to move to a cooler climate ;-) ! My brother lived at home until he was 23, it's more common these days with the economy!
My friends still raise an eyebrow when I mention Summer SAD. People just have a hard time accepting it for various reasons, including that it seems so counter-intuitive (sun=happy).
There is a great Live Journal site you might want to check out it's a nice community (just like here):
http://community.livejournal.com/summer_s_a_d/
My website has a forum but it's kind of hard to use...still working on that!
No need to apologize for a long email (it wasn't long by my standards!) because this is exactly what this google group is for...! So email away! We are all here for each other!
Sandi
with it. I don't know if that is a common thing. I definitely think it's
worth looking into, but be careful about doctors. The one who helped me
is a naturopath, and the things she has me taking are amino acids. They
are completely safe.
You don't want to get involved with a doctor that puts you on psych meds
with dangerous side effects. Doctors can be hard to gauge. Some take the
time to really look at and treat your problems, and offer good advice.
Many just rush to the prescription pad. A lot of doctors get incentives
from the pharmaceutical companies. A big clue is if there are
promotional items in your doctors office for various drugs. Also, be
aware that many doctors still don't recognize summer SAD.
You may want to try some counseling to learn some coping skills, too.
This can be especially helpful for anxiety. Meditation helps some people
tremendously. Others don't take to it. There are many different things
you can try.
I recommend seeing a holistic doctor who can give you healthy, safe
solutions, and will take a broader approach, looking at causes and
solutions that are customized for you, rather than pumping you through
the assembly line, prescribing something taking your money and shoving
you out the door.
Also, don't be discouraged by people like your boss who think that it
can't be summer SAD. There are lots of people who absolutely cannot
believe such a thing exists because so many people just love the sun and
hot weather.
You say you are working on moving out. If you can move someplace cooler,
do it! If you plan to stay local, try to find a house with ample shade.
Sandi
--
Sandi
luna...@centurytel.net
Saskia
I totally agree about the more holistic/alternative doctor approach....you have to go in armed with information to make sure the doctor is up to snuff these days otherwise, as you say, they will try the path of least resistance on you (drugs!). One of my doctors in an "environmental" doctor and the other is a combination of traditional doctor informed by alternative practices--they both have totally bankrupted me, but it has been worth it ;-)
I feel so lucky to live in an age where we can do our own research online! I would still think I were crazy if I hadn't done a web search for Summer SAD!
That said, it's anxiety inducing thinking about all the options and researching all this stuff ;-) or even trying to find a good doctor. I guess that is the trade-off!
Sandi
doctor is put off by the fact that you have done your own research,
consider it a red flag and find one who appreciates an informed patient
and who treats you with dignity and respect. A good doctor is quick to
point out that you have to listen to your own body and that you are the
best gauge of your own health. That includes mental health. Any doctor
who tries to tell you that you do not really feel the way you know you
feel is either too consumed by his own ego to help you or trying to rush
your visit because he's more interested in making money than healing
people (or both). Doctors provide a service. They are not gods. Too many
people forget this. A good doctor will appreciate and encourage your
active participation in your recovery.
For me, living with my parents only exacerbated my problems. However, if
that is not the case in your situation, then staying with them can
relieve many pressures while you seek solutions. Since getting help can
be expensive, staying at home could be a big help. I agree that moving
to a cooler climate would outweigh the benefits of staying at home.
I moved from Texas to the mountains at 18, and saw immediate
improvement. I was determined to have a happier life. I had no money and
lived in a tent that first summer, eventually moving up to a very cheap
cabin with no running water but in the woods next to a creek. Even in
those "rough" conditions, I was immensely happier. I hadn't heard of
summer SAD, I just knew the obvious. Heat, sun, and humidity made me
very angry and unhappy. So did other aspects of living in Texas. The
problem returned anytime I moved to a hot, sunny place. It took many
years and a particularly bad summer when I had just moved into a house
with no shade, for me to discover that there was more to it than an
intense personal preference.
Good luck and don't let looking for the solution stress you out. Know
that you are not alone, and are headed down the right path already. Let
that give you some relief. Now, at least, you are not in the dark. The
weather is getting cooler, so this is your opportunity to look at your
options with a clear head.
Sandi
Saskia wrote:
>
> Take some of the more scientific ones to show your doctor. You
> probably won't get a sticker slapped on you that says "Summer SAD" so
> don't expect that mostly because most doctors simply don't know about
> it. My doctor said he hadn't heard of it but that it sounded probable
> I had it. I don't need a doctor to tell me that I have it, because I
> know what the sun and heat do to me, and I fit all the symptoms! See
> your doctor with the above caveats...and do a lot of talking and
> reading about it and make sure you don't have underlying problems that
> exacerbate things.
>
> Speaking as someone who had terrible health problems at your age (from
> Celiac) I would try and focus on resolving your health now and getting
> on your feet in a stable way--I don't think feeling pressure to move
> out of your parents place is going to help you. Maybe you should just
> plan to stay put until you feel confident you know what is going on
> with your health. Unless you plan to try to move to a cooler climate
> ;-) ! My brother lived at home until he was 23, it's more common
> these days with the economy!
>
>
>
>
--
Sandi
luna...@centurytel.net