Would you want....

[Ashley D]

To have it mentioned in your obituary that you committed suicide?

 

This is how I imagine my obituary:

 

Andrew D., known better as Ashley, after years of struggling with his gender identification, committed suicide on (the date I finally kill myself).  Ashley was in his 19th year (if I kill myself before next January!) when he took his own life.  Survived by his father Mike, and step-mother Anne.  Predeceased by his mother Tracy, on May 13th, 2002, and step-brother Peter, on July 4th, 2009.  A memorial service will be held in Ashley's memory on (three days after I commit suicide).

 

Yes, I actually have this written down!  I look at it every day, and think, do I want it said like this?  Yes, I do!  Why hide how I die?  I even think about changing the "committed suicide" to "hanged himself".  I know my father won't write it like this.  But, if he would agree to it, I want it told that I was mentally and physically messed up, and knew the only way out was with a noose around my neck!

 

Anybody else ever thought about having it written into their obituary that they committed suicide?    

[Suicidal Gurl]

Why not be honest!  Back in January, my best friend in the world hanged herself.  Lacey and I had been friends for 7-years, and had actually met when we were both in suicide recovery.   I had just turned 16, and I tried to hang myself.  That suicide attempt was my 4th, and the one that took me closest to death!  My neck was fractured, and when my body was found, my heart was in full arrest, and I was declared dead!  Obviously, they were able to revive my heart, but not with a considerable effort!  Lacey had just celebrated her 15th birthday, and had in fact tried to hang herself on her birthday.   Throughout our friendship, we discovered our sexuality (we were both Lesbians), and had even entered into several suicide pacts together.  Three times, we were found hanged, side-by-side! 

 

This past January, Lacey hanged herself, and somehow had managed to break her neck.  I know death for her was quick.  When her parents published her obituary, it was brutally honest!  It said: "It is with deep sadness that Edward and Anne A. announce that their lovely daughter Lacey took her own life in her 22nd year"  Now, everyone who knew us, and knows me, knew about both our suicidal history.  In fact, at Lacey's funeral service, many were asking me how long I planned to stay around.  The crazy thing was, Lacey's service was held at 1:00 in the afternoon.  That night as I sat and thought about my friend, I made THE decision (again!).  I guess it was around 9:00 that evening.  I took this one picture of the two of us and went to the basement.  I placed the picture where I could look at it as I stood on a chair and tightened a noose around my neck.  As I looked at that picture, I stepped off the chair and hanged myself.  five days later I awoke in the hospital with an extremely bruised and sore neck! 

 

I have thought about it, as you have.  Yes, I want my obituary to be honest.  Tell the world, Amanda hanged herself!  I have even written it out.  It is just like Lacey's obituary:  "It is with deepest sadness that William and Nancy D. announce that their beloved daughter Amanda committed suicide.  Amanda has suffered mental health issues since she was 12, and on (the day I finally kill myself), Amanda was hanged."  That is EXACTLY how I want my obituary written, word for word!      

[Off With My Head]

This might sound off the wall, but I have actually had this discussion with my Aunt, who has been my legal guardian since I was 4.  She got the responsibility when my mother was murdered.  My father had died before I was born!  And I told her to tell the world through my obituary how and why I died.  If I do commit suicide, which is a strong possibility of me doing, say it, and say how!  If I am killed by someone, which there is also a strong possibility of happening, tell how!  For example:

 

If I kill myself:  "Kendall "Kandy" M., in his 19th year, slipped a noose around his neck and hanged himself. Survived by his Aunt and legal Guardian Jennifer.  Predeceased by his father Kendall on January 28th, 1994, and his mother Ashley on June 20th, 1999. 

 

If I am murdered: On October 31st, Kendall "Kandy" M. was raped and beheaded by parties unknown on his 19th birthday.  Survived by his Aunt and legal Guardian Jennifer.  Predeceased by his Father Kendall on January 28th, 1994, and his Mother Ashley on June 20th, 1999.  

 

Why hide it that I am suicidal and that I put myself into situations where I can easily be murdered.  By the way, if I kill myself, it will be by hanging.  If I were to be murdered, yes, this is how I want to be killed!

On Wednesday, September 4, 2013 8:38:18 PM UTC-4, Ashley D wrote:

[Queer]

I have to agree with Suicidal Gurl, why not be honest!  For me, I'll be dead, and I have no hesitation letting the world know I took my own life, nor would I hesitate to have my obituary say I hanged myself.  I think the words I would like used are: "Took his own life by self-hanging."  However, there won't be any listing of family or close relatives, nor will there be any memorial service.  I've made arrangements for cremation, and to have my ashes spread in this area where one of my suicide attempts when I was a teenager failed.  I've visited that area many times over the years, and relived that failed attempt.  It won't be possible to kill myself there now, as it's built up, and the exact place where I tried to kill myself is actually a park.  I want my ashes spread in the middle of the night too.    

[Ashley Jordan]

This is something I have long thought about, if I would want it be known from my obituary that I committed suicide.  My answer is, "Yes!  I would!"  After all, why hide the fact that my cause of death will most likely be by strangulation through hanging myself, unless of course if I were to actually be able to cause my neck to break, then I would want that mentioned.  I'll go as far to say that I want my obituary to say that openly, that I died by hanging.  That is, if I do in fact die by hanging myself.  I say that as there is a very strong possibility that I could be strangled to death during a kinky sex encounter by a partner who could conceivably lose control and do just that, strangle me to death.  It has nearly happened, and more than once! 

  

The only issue I can think of is how cases of death by suicide are reported today as that, "died by suicide".  I think this leaves people guessing, so why not be open and honest and tell them that I hanged myself (and hopefully broke my neck in the process)! 

🌈 🏳️‍🌈 Ashley J. 🏳️‍🌈 🌈