Death By Hanging - The Best way To Die!

[Queer]

Being as I've been suicidal ever since my early teen years, I believe that suicide is a legitimate choice for someone to make.  They are consciously deciding their time is up, that it's time to leave this world, that it's time to die.

I am at that point again!  It's time for me to end my life.  It's time for me to kill myself.  

The first step, now that I have made the decision to terminate my life, is to choose a method to my personal liking.  One consideration is how the method will feel as I'm dying.  Some people want a method that is quiet and pain-free, like self-induced poisoning.  Some will go all out and jump from a high place.  For me, the best way to kill myself, despite having failed five times before, will be by asphyxiation.  It will be by hanging myself.

   

Death by hanging has always had a sensual and romantic aura to me.  It's that kinky bodily reaction I've experienced whenever I've tried to hang myself, and to be honest, it's that "reaction" that drew me to try to hang myself the first time when I was 15-years-old.  I have had numerous friends finally successfully commit suicide by hanging themselves, all after multiple failures throughout their lives, and one even said that in his note, that he asked that nobody cry for him, as he didn't commit suicide.  Rather, he executed himself.    His suicide note expressed that sensual and romantic aura perfectly.  

So, is it this kinky, sexual aura that lead me to choose to hang myself?  That is part of it.  The other part is that I could, hopefully, break my neck.  The first few seconds would be the most pleasure as I struggle under the power of the noose, but that would only last for maybe 10-seconds at the very most.  I should be unconscious by hat time!  Then, for the next 2-to-3-minutes, my body will twitch and spasm uncontrollably until my body goes totally limp and relaxed.  Then, the wait until I succumb and die.  The only "issue", if this is an issue, is how long will it take for the noose to strangle me to death.  It could take as long as 30-minutes for me to die.  That's not to say that being strangled to death is a bad way to die.  Strangulation is in fact a very sexy way to die!  I discovered the sexual aspect of strangulation, and hanging, in my pre-teen years.  (Look up "auto erotic asphyxia" and its more common modern name, "The Choking Game", and you will know what I mean.)  Under the right conditions, being strangled causes an intense sexual reaction thus making being strangled to death extremely sexy and sensuous.  This "reaction" explodes to new heights when that same "sensation" is administered through a tight noose around my neck, and the rope tied off so I'm fully suspended by my neck.  This is THE reason why when I have attempted suicide, every attempt has been by hanging.  It's that 30-minutes that concerns me, and the reason I desperately want to hang myself so my neck breaks.  from what I've researched, if my neck breaks, death will occur within a coupe of seconds, thus speeding up the process of me dying, which is ultimately why I am hanging myself in the first place.  The only unknown is, how long will I feel the sensation of my neck breaking?  I've read that I will feel it, and it will be so intense and excruciating, and possibly enjoyable, that I will pass out within a second, and my heart will stop at almost the same instant.  

Since it's one of those situations where you can only do it once (unlike strangulation, where, under certain conditions, you can be hanged over and over, giving you a good idea as to what being hanged is like.), I really have only one way to find out, and that's to have my neck broken.  But, as I said, it can only be done once, and I really won't be able to give a report as to what having my neck broken felt like.  What it will feel like when I do break my neck is I won't know until I do it, which I hope happens when I hang myself.   

There is only one more step, and that will be when.  The noose is ready and tied off, and the stool in place.  The only answer I can give at this moment for when I will tighten the noose around my neck and tip the stool over is: very, very soon!