I wrote on Sallie Maes Wall And They Delete It!!

[Oscar Colocho]

"I hope your corporations unethical practices come to light. You do nothing but destroy the quality of life for millions of people. What goes up goes down and you will go down. You collect with complete disregard to quality of basic human life. Do you understand the burden of your loans? Do you understand that it's hard to find work? Do you understand that I have made my payments faithfully and yet you refuse to work with me? Do you understand knowing I will never be able to own a home or raise a family much less feed a child of my own because your corporation demands payment? Your corporation has grown with too much power at their control and are out of control. Your bigger agenda will come to light soon enough and the evil greedy people behind it will be brought to justice. You prey on young naive people who don't understand the TRUE BURDEN OF YOUR LOANS. I would have preferred a loan with the mob over your corporation. At least death would have been better than the quality of life that I live now due to your loans. Make no mistake I've been making my payments WITH MY UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK EVEN which in itself is hardly enough to get by? Out of FEAR I pay your corporation because your garnishments are basically for life. I am not lazy and refuse to be labeled as such for the people who see this. I want students to open their eyes and realize what they're getting into before they literally sign their souls away to Sallie Mae. Understand that the economy is still way down and that if you cant find work Sallie Mae does not care they will not work with you. Forbearance and Deferment for them simply means your loans will double and you will be stuck with the loans for the rest of your lives. I cannot afford gas or food or even have hope to ever living an "American Dream" I have good people by my side that have helped me to pay for my basics such as the internet TO APPLY FOR WORK. For FOOD to survive and am staying with someone to currently AVOID RENT. I cannot RETURN to my parents house at this point in my life. I pray to God people don't fall into the conditions that I'm in and pray that justice comes soon."

Our voices need to be heard.

[Toni Carrell]

I understand how you feel, because I'm right there with you.  In my case, I got sick.  I didn't mean to get sick, but I did.  I expected to graduate and be able to pay my loans, which were very small, originally.  The principle of my two loans was only about $3500.  That's it.  Now, with interest, it's over $10K.  I'm ill, and I will never get better.  I, like you, am forced to exist on the kindness of others.  (The life I lead cannot truly be called "living," as every day is spent exactly the same as the last.  I own nothing of value-- almost nothing that wasn't someone else's first.  My son (already born when I took out the loans) and my two little dogs are the only things in life from which I derive any pleasure.  I will never go on another trip, I will never own a home, Ironically, I will never again own a car.  I took out my first loan to buy my first car that was mine and only mine.  The second one was to pay for insurance and some routine maintenance on that car, new tires, etc.  I wouldn't have had to do that if not for the fact that the college I attended is out in the middle of nowhere and the bus schedule was incompatible with my class schedule.  I have been harrassed by the loan collectors for years.  I've been insulted, screamed at, received snide comments, been told that my son will be responsible for my debts after I die, and one guy even told me that I had to repay this loan NOW, and that I'd better "strap a mattress to your back and head to a bar." I no longer have a home phone because of Sally Mae and the various loan collectors to whom my loan has been sold.  Sometimes the weight of all of this just becomes too much and causes me to feel suicidal.  Then I remember what they said about my son being forced to repay my debt, and so I continue to sit here, helpless and hopeless.

[PedestrianActivist]

Toni, you know one thing is for sure, you are not alone.  A car can be a disaster and take every cent mercilessly.  It's quite a shock to finally let it go and rely on a bicycle and for those of us in cities, BART and the bus.  I've been a bike commuter for four years and the fresh air really helps with stress and isolation.  About  feeling suicidal, if you can find the right medication, it will absolutely help you to your astonishment. Just a tiny pill and the right psychiatrist will change your life and help you out of your isolation.  There are great medications out there now that just elevate your mood to make you feel like talking to strangers a bit and laughing and keeping the horrifying anxiety attacks at bay.  Zoloft may even give you back some energy that's been sucked dry by predators.  If you have nothing you are eligible for county programs and with enough persistence you will find a doctor. It just takes one visit even at a crisis center that's free.  Just call a local hospital and they should know of one.  Google something.

You can also talk to a disability attorney to help you apply for disability from the state and from the federal govt.  You can get Medicare and Medical to help with medical expenses, the dentist, the optomitrist, the pediatrician.  Foodstamps and the foodbank--many of your neighbors are there.  Just go to any grocery store around the first of the month, it's all foodstamps.  Foodbank volunteers will treat you with kindness and not judgment, don't be afraid, just go.

If your disability is sixty months or expected to be, get Legal Aid to help you to apply for the disability discharge from the US Dept. of Education directly.  Your doctor signs it, confirming the sixty months past, present or future.

[Eliza Day]

Stay away from anti-depressants.  They are toxic and totally subjective.  Zoloft didn't help my nephew, it made him much worse and he committed suicide.  don't believe the BS doctors tell you as they are vested in these pharmaceutical companies.  Try natural holistic remedies like SAM-e and st john's wort if you feel you must take something.

Occasional depression is normal.  It's a cruel world with a corrupt system mixed with beauty and wonder.  Balance is key.

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[Toni Carrell]

No, I'm not alone, for sure!  And my good old Carolla wasn't a disaster, either.  It was a good little car!  I drove that thing nearly 100k miles over the next ten years.  Yes, it did, eventually, wear out and die, but I got my money's worth out of her.  

As for the antidepressants, I was on antidepressants for a while.  I had to quit taking them for a while when I was working and couldn't afford my $300 a month "share of cost" assigned by the government.  After I became disabled (and my share of cost went away) I tried to go back on them, but night time became a new experience in horror as the worst dreams of my life scared me wide awake every night.  I just couldn't take them anymore.  For the most part I've been a step, or sometimes two, above feeling suicidal, and that's about as "happy" as I've ever been since I was a small child.  I have my first minister's pedophile father and my own narcissistic mother to thank for feeling like that for all but the first three years of my life.  I almost made an excuse for my mother here about how she didn't know-- couldn't have known-- but I know that *I* would have known if anyone had abused my son.  Part of healing from the wounds of growing up with a narcissistic mother is to stop making excuses for them, and I'm trying, but her insults to me, our relationship and my son just keep coming.  

[Toni Carrell]

I'm sorry about your nephew.  Antidepressants can have some very nasty side-effects, particularly in those under 20.  But they have also saved the lives of a lot of people.  Not judging others for their personal health choices is something we really need to take to heart.  Most people don't start taking antidepressants for feeling "a little low."  For most people it is a well-considered decision that they have spent a lot of time thinking about, weighing the good and the bad, before taking that first pill.  Most wouldn't even consider it if it weren't, quite literally, a matter of life and death.  

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