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[Mark Stubbs]

How is it going gents?  I talked to Dave on Thursday.  The project you are working on seems to have you busy and happy.  I'm working on two weeks sober tomorrow.  I went and had dinner with the other drunks last night.  I stopped at Albertsons on the way home to get some tortillas.  Fuck if I didn't think it would be nice to have some wine.  Jesus fuck me, I went and got some coffee creamer instead.  I had three cups of coffee and watched Looper with Marcus.  I was up until three.  I got up and went to the noon meeting.  I'm at the movie, I've wanted to see Silver Linings Playbook.  I'll probably end up at the 6 pm meeting as well.  I'll get through this weekend.

On Feb 27, 2013 7:35 AM, "David Kelly" <davidqu...@gmail.com> wrote:

Mark, I explained why I was leaving Syndiant before Blain joined our group.  It's for a number of reasons, but the main ones are that my stock options became worthless after the latest investment round, and the company was becoming less American and more Taiwanese. 

Started the new job on Monday.  I'm working on infrared laser modules.  The first project I've been assigned to is pretty damn cool.. it's related to the gesture recognition technology found in the Microsoft Kinect.  I think I made the right move.  

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 26, 2013, at 9:39 PM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Blain, If you're 21 hours off from Corey Pacific, are you 23 (almost a day) off from Central?  One other thing I want to do in the next 2 weeks is see my doctor.  I'm not sure I want to see the same doctor as my son though.  I'm trying to weigh that out and get some sobriety under my belt.  Right now, I rely on benadryl to get to sleep and stay asleep.  I really think I'd be better of with Trazodone.

Dave, what the fuck is up with your new job?  

On Tue, Feb 26, 2013 at 9:12 PM, Blain <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

I think it can be helpful to think of one's "better self" as being your Higher Power -- then it can all dovetail nicely with Buddhist ideas.

On Feb 27, 2013 4:10 PM, "Blain" <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

Good news. Thanks for the update!

On Feb 27, 2013 4:07 PM, "Mark Stubbs" <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

I've met some guys at the meeting I'm going to that I can relate to a little better than the group I was going to early last year. I got a sponsor last night.  He's an unemployment lawyer from Austin, good guy.  I wanted to make sure I had a sponsor before I went on the business trip I'm taking next Mon-Wed.  I think this will be good now.

I've been playing phone tag with the counselor I'm trying to get an appointment.  She specializes in addiction and depression, so I want to start there.

On Tue, Feb 26, 2013 at 5:38 PM, Blain <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

21 hours ahead at the moment. Or 3 hours behind but on the next day. Daylight savings time changes screw it all up, but meh. I'm happy to be on your contact schedule.  

Mark, what's your update?

On Wed, Feb 27, 2013 at 12:22 PM, Corey Kilpack <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

I went to therapy and asked for Antabuse. 

Ill see the doc in a week. I'm going to fucking do this. 

Ill work on some plans to set up before I do it. 

Blain, what is our time difference? I may put you on my late night contact schedule. Are you 20 hours ahead? 

I'm doing this. I had a lot of this in motion before, but blain telling us about those drugs was the tip I needed. 

Mark, do you have a goal? Is your goal this time to go sober for life? 

On Feb 24, 2013, at 12:12 PM, Blain <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

I thought the title was "Women at 3 AM", which I have to say I like even better.

On Mon, Feb 25, 2013 at 7:46 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Right  I figured it out after you told me and wiki'd him. 

On Feb 24, 2013 12:32 PM, "Corey Kilpack" <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

a bukowski book called 'women"

On Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 10:25 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

I see, I misunderstood that to read, not a Bukowski book, but with a woman until 3. 

On Feb 24, 2013 12:24 PM, "Corey Kilpack" <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

women, right now. i keep a book of his poems by my bed. 

On Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 9:59 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

What are you reading by Bukowski?

On Feb 24, 2013 11:54 AM, "Corey Kilpack" <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

that is awesome. 

On Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 9:51 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

The "H" is silent.

On Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 11:51 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Did you catch the "Djesus Uncrossed," trailer?  I thought it was hilarious, but some didn't find it as funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzG5ieU8kCw

On Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 8:43 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Baclofen, it's the one that Blaine linked an article from The Guardian.

On Feb 23, 2013 12:23 PM, "Corey Kilpack" <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

fucking hell. i have been reading a ton of his shit this week. read Women until 3 am this morning. 

he is the original alcoholic writer. 

this fucker just drinks and fucks. fucks and drinks. he would rather drink than fuck, but drinking/fucking works really great. fights too. 

mark, what is the drug you mentioned and why do you like it? 

i am digging what i am reading about antabuse. i dont dig being sick, and i dont need much motivation to stay off the sauce. i am also an all fucking in, or all fucking out kind of personality. i dont suffer the fence and whining very much. if antabuse gives me just enough reason to stay the fuck off the stuff, and my goal will be to really stay the fuck off, seems like a reasonable combo for me. 

i think what feels much better this time, and talking about it in a smaller group, is that i will admit that at times i have been depressed about my drinking, when i am most rational, i would get very depressed about the fucking disease and switches and whatever it is in this fucked up body that doesnt react like a normal person to booze. why cant i just have 2 and feel it enough to roll for the night? that aint just my choice, that is me being just fucked at birth. in the most rational times, i can get depressed and down about it. strange. 

 

--
_____________________________________
Blain Crandell

47 Manning Street

Rawene 0440

New Zealand

+64 027 770 0040

--
_____________________________________
Blain Crandell

47 Manning Street

Rawene 0440

New Zealand

+64 027 770 0040

[Blain]

Cool beans. Coffee beans, of course. Sounds like you're doing a good job with the conscientious day-to-day decisions to abstain.  The not-sleeping thing sucks. It would drive me nuts. But probably a fair trade-off, all things considered.

[Corey Kilpack]

I think the lack of sleep for weeks is the worst part of quitting. Drinking at night to make sleeping easier sucks though. Whenever I drink and black out or wake up the next morning without remembering going to bed the night before, it's when I'm tired or bored and just want to drink and pass out. 

Good work Mark

[David Kelly]

Great job Mark.

Sent from my iPhone