Fwd: [Stubbs Cabal] Groupie

[David Kelly]

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com>
Date: February 23, 2013, 1:08:00 AM CST
To: David Kelly <davidqu...@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Stubbs Cabal] Groupie

Heidi asked me the same question, "why not one or two drinks?"  Jesus, that's just wasting booze.  Nothing happens until 4 drinks in.  I'm 5 days now.

On Feb 22, 2013 9:43 PM, "David Kelly" <davidqu...@gmail.com> wrote:

Absolutely.. be very curious fucker.  Sounds like it might do you some good.

On Fri, Feb 22, 2013 at 8:55 PM, Corey Kilpack <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

I think the difference is that the alcoholism I have, and that mark describes, is a disease. I would certainly say that about my dad and grandpa. It was their DNA over their common sense. I think and have experienced enough to know that I can get by with the disease but probably will not thrive. 

If there are remedies, especially ones that don't stab me in the chest like AA or other god fearing remedies, I am curious. 

On Feb 22, 2013, at 6:39 PM, David Kelly <davidqu...@gmail.com> wrote:

Love the writing. 

Wish I could relate.  I think I am vulnerable only to sex and gambling.  Alcohol just doesn't get me hooked.  Not sure why. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 22, 2013, at 6:27 PM, Corey Kilpack <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

i know i am just talking to myself here on a friday night. but godfucking damn. i cannot stop reading about this antabuse shit. fucking hell. it is the most exciting thing i have read in fucking ages, blain. 

i am sure these testimonies are mostly manufactured, but fuck, i look at the process alone, without considering the medicine, just the process. doc gives me 30 pills, says take one per day, i take them and dont drink, eat mussells cooked in wine, no wine dressings because if i do, i will be puking while my heart races up the alps to my death. 

i am all over that process. all day every day. that beats drinking for three days in a row, waiting for the kids to come back. 

On Fri, Feb 22, 2013 at 4:16 PM, Corey Kilpack <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

this is the kind of shit i am thinking about. there are some reviews where people plan ahead, they know if there is going to be an event, like a party, they can go off the pill for a week before the event, then start back after two days sober. 

first started antabuse about 3 years ago, stayed on the medication for awhile and stopped. never drank on the medication until i took it again a few months later after relapse. DO NOT DRINK WHEN TAKING THIS MEDICATION!!! my skin turned flush red, my throat swelled, i became dizzy and disoriented, my heart rate increased to a extremely scary rate, severe vomiting, stomach and chest pains, muscle aches, joint aches, i thought i was going to die. this drug is one not to play around with when taking and consuming alcohol. death may occur. i have to say, taking the medication made me fearful of alcohol *since you have to be sure not to use Listorine, cologne/perfume that contains alcohol, or eat or drink anything with alcohol* but i wasnt satisfied for the fact if a strong enough urge to drink came along, it would do me in for sure considering the side effects. but taking the medication normally, without consuming alcohol, i did not experience any side effects.

i would tell everyone i was on the pill, and couldnt drink. 

On Fri, Feb 22, 2013 at 3:21 PM, Corey Kilpack <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/meds/a/blacer060108.htm

the antabuse looks like something that would be effective for a drinker like me. 

I am a genetically predisposed addict. i get hooked on shit and get rutted in an addiction. Examples include rubic's cube as a kid, the damu, cheeseburgers and bbq in texas, booze, all sorts of stuff like that. 

i do not feel a buzz from alcohol in the slightest I cannot feel it until I am probably drunk, a half pint will help me go to sleep at night maybe, but it doesnt buzz me. I cannot even have one drink and then drive, because i cannot feel shit, not a goddamn fucking thing, until i am drunk and thats when i get in trouble with people, chicks etc. I go from that tastes good to give me the rest at some point in the night, i dont feel it coming on. 

i have drank 2 pints of whiskey in about 8 hours, a half pint every two hours for all night. julie goldberg and i had a whiskey weekend, and drank whiskey and fucked at my house for two days. i thought my back was going to catch on fire, my kidneys and everything hurt for days. that weekend, i am sure we drank a gallon of jameson. 

i can have a fridge full of beer for a month. but, a bottle of wine, whiskey, rum will not last long. If it is here, i will drink it all. 

when i am with friends, i will drink slowly, purposely leave a glass half full so i am drinking, but not getting loaded, because i cannot feel a buzz anyways. it is just social, i cannot feel anything, and i am managing it the whole time. 

new orleans was the most i have drank while out and about and gaming and going to the whorehouse. i would normally drink, then go home and grab a bottle around the corner and drink more at home. 

if i lived in utah, i would be able to manage my drinking, because there would be nowhere to buy booze the hours i even want to drink. i have no desire to drink, until late at night and after dark. i associate the daylight with coffee and tea, and the night with whiskey and rum. 

i will, if i am outside and drinking, find something to smoke. 

i have to coach baseball tomorrow. on a saturday. i can go out tonight. i could drink all night and still coach tomorrow. but, since i know i will be coaching, i will not do anything that would involve booze. if i have a meeting the following day, early, its not a problem. if my schedule lines up where setting sail with captain morgan is not a problem or conflict, i set fucking sail. 

when i start boot camp on monday, i would really really like to go mormon WoW on the diet for those 6 weeks. 

to me, there are choices. be an alcoholic and manage it like i am, and accept it. just accept that sometimes i am going to see my kids and smell like i just closed the bars and halls with some chick that can outdrink me because she snorts coke. i can set up my life to be a small contract broker and manager of what i have, and a drunk writer, and try and bang out the world's best selling rant and roadmap to the sidewalks and sluts of alcohol, family, vicious childhood memories and an indian girlfriend with bony hips and long nipples. and probably outlive my dad, his drunk body made it to 57

or i can get my shit together so nobody is sorting through  my fucking dumpsters of empty containers. the shit up there, that i just wrote, is starting to hurt. it is hurting. and i am hurting. well that fucking sucks. 

i actually really like the idea of turning this off, and being the fucking guy, that walked away one day. 

to that end, i am going to really look into that fucking drug that makes you fucking shit, sweat and puke if you drink. that is the shit that would work for me. you can turn off all the shit that makes me depressed, and want booze. you can turn off all the little switches that makes people feel buzzed, those are numb anyways. but there aint no pill to make the sun stay up, the bars and liquor stores stay closed, and me walking down divisadero with a clove and a fucking pint, for another night. 

now. put something in my coffee that would make me puke or have to shit in some girl's house, yeah no. i'll have a tall glass of milk and a condom, thank you. i dont shit at girls houses without being sick. i go home for that. 

im going to ask about that drug. the rest make no fucking sense for me. 

On Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 6:13 PM, Blain <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

Damn, I just sent that to the cryptastic group. Fuck. Sorry. I'm trying to sort this out about replying only to the right group.

Here's what I wrote:

I can see how trazodone might be helpful, although it's an unusual use for it.  If you didn't see the article yesterday about the surgeon who used baclofen to help him stop drinking, I thought that was pretty damn cool.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/may/09/alcoholism-health-doctor-addiction-drug

On Fri, Feb 22, 2013 at 3:11 PM, Blain <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

I can see how trazodone might be helpful, although it's an unusual use for it.  If you didn't see the article yesterday about the surgeon who used baclofen to help him stop drinking, I thought that was pretty damn cool.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/may/09/alcoholism-health-doctor-addiction-drug

On Fri, Feb 22, 2013 at 3:05 PM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Blaine, I was in AA for 5 months, I was very close to 6 months sober.  I tried going back several times.  I'm going to a new group.  I just got back and this is a much better group or fit for me.  I spent some time after the meeting talking to an unemployment lawyer.  I was on a prescription called Trazedone.  I'm sure you're familiar with it.  It's a mild anti-depressant and also helps you sleep.  They use it in a lot of rehabs from what I've heard.  I stopped going to the Dr. in Fort Worth, because I didn't want to talk about stuff (one in SW Ft. Worth).  Now I'm back in Euless and have been taking my son to a Dr. that I liked when I lived up here prior.  I need to go into him and talk to him.  

On Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 8:00 PM, Blain <bla...@gmail.com> wrote:

Ideally, the next best source of info would be one's doctor. After that, the best would be the medication's manufacturer data sheet.

On Feb 22, 2013 2:55 PM, "Corey Kilpack" <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

Blain. 

I was reading about those drugs. Fuck, one of them, the one that makes a drinker sick, can cause a heart attack. 

Jesus. Nice drugs. 

Where can I get the best info about the drug, besides wiki of course. They're usually the very best. 

On Feb 21, 2013, at 12:30 PM, David Kelly <davidqu...@gmail.com> wrote:

Fuck yeah.  

On Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 12:49 PM, Corey Kilpack <oilb...@gmail.com> wrote:

So we are OG's again.

--
_____________________________________
Blain Crandell

47 Manning Street

Rawene 0440

New Zealand

+64 027 770 0040

--
_____________________________________
Blain Crandell

47 Manning Street

Rawene 0440

New Zealand

+64 027 770 0040

[David Kelly]

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com>
Date: February 23, 2013, 1:16:13 AM CST
To: David Kelly <davidqu...@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Stubbs Cabal] Groupie

I'm really interested in the baclofen. The wikipedia article said it had been approved for use.  When I stopped to break on my way down to meet Heidi, I had the strongest urge to buy some wine and throw it in my work bag for later, like usual.  I couldn't believe I was thinking that, especially since I've been feeling incredible for the four days.  I can't figure out why the hangover consequence doesn't seem to make a bigger impression. 

[David Kelly]

No fucker, I forwarded your emails to the group because you sent them to me instead of the whole group. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 23, 2013, at 10:21 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Awesome Dave, did you ass email us? Twice?

[David Kelly]

Something is fucked up with the group.  When you reply, it is supposed to reply to the group, not the individual.  I'll fiddle with the email settings. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 23, 2013, at 10:24 AM, Mark Stubbs <mjst...@gmail.com> wrote:

Thanks!