Strangerazzi: Creepy Job Coach
MK
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Twice a month, I volunteer at Ronald McDonald House through work. I take a small group of consumers (the MI/DD adults that we provide services for) to help clean the kitchen there. It’s easy work, and it gives us an opportunity to interact with many different people.
For the most part, we see families of children who are being treated at the nearby hospital, and the RMCH staff. Today, however, there were two new faces that didn’t fit into either of the prior categories. There was a lovely gentleman, obviously developmentally disabled, and there was his job coach.
I shall call the job coach “Craig.” He did introduce himself to me, and it sounded like Craig, but I’m not entirely sure. Craig is one of those guys who is obviously somewhat bored of his job. He takes no interest in the lives of the people he serves, or at least not in the particular gentleman he was working with today. If Craig wasn’t busy reading his newspaper, he was targeting me.
Apparently, Craig found me rather fascinating. I don’t know what it was that he found so intriguing. Was it the pink streaks in my hair? My overly-round physique? Or did he simply assume that I, like him, felt as if I were “saddled” with the unfulfilling task of monitoring people while they work? I don’t know, and I do not particularly care.
When I am there, I interact with my peeps. I am genuinely interested in them as human beings, and we are always talking about things going on in our lives. My group knows their job, and I really don’t HAVE to interact with them much to get them to do it, but I like to feel like I’m part of THEIR group and not just standing on the sidelines. I’d like to think that my interacting with them in such a way is part of the reason why they’re becoming so comfortable in what they have to do, and sometimes my most introverted one will interact with the people staying in the house, even though he may have just met them that day.
Oh, but not Craig.
For the first few minutes of us coming into the kitchen, Craig was busy following me around as I picked out snacks for my group and assisted one in getting himself some coffee. Craig said hello to me, I responded with a smile and a quick “Hi” as I carried on with my task. He introduced himself, I introduced myself.
Craig is one of those guys who will use your name as often as possible once he learns it. This is the first thing that made him seem really creepy to me. When you use my name more than once in a sentence, something is wrong with you. It’s like you’re saying “I’m really into you. Like REALLY into you. I may stalk you before the day is done. I’d like to follow you to your work and to your home so that I can send you flowers with creepy notes. Eventually, I may stab you.”
Without trying to be a total bitch, I did every dismissive thing I could. I failed to make eye contact. I kept myself busy so as not to turn my body in any way that would make him think I’m interested in anything he had to say. I even walked away from him so I could rejoin my group. Fortunately, he seems to be allergic to the population we both serve, since walking towards THEM made HIM go away for a moment.
Had I realized that’s what it would take, I wouldn’t have gone to the laundry closet without one of my group with me. He followed me. He talked to me some more, using my name multiple times. I don’t even know what he was talking about. At one point, I found myself pondering if anyone would really BLAME me if I choked him to death with a bath towel. I can do that, you know. At one point, I did finally lose it a little and said “Look, dude, I’m married, and I don’t think my husband would appreciate this sort of behavior from you. And, um, where’s your client? Are you making sure he knows what he’s supposed to be doing?”
I think Craig was deaf. Or perhaps he was just SO INTO ME, that all he noticed was that my lovely lips were moving, but what I was saying wasn’t what he was hearing. Perhaps he heard something more along the lines of “Hey, let’s hang out in this closet for the next hour so I could listen to you say my name fifty million more times!” I pushed past him and walked back into the kitchen area, where his client was happily vacuuming some rugs. I smiled at the client and told him he was doing a great job. His client beamed at me and said “Wow! You’re nice! No one ever says that to me!” and he was genuinely very happy that I complimented him. I turned to Craig and glared at him as if to say “Perhaps you need to get back to work?”
Craig left me alone for awhile, because now I was surrounded by my group as I handed out their cleaning supplies and reminded them about what they needed to do. I watched happily as Craig cringed in the corner as a member of my group walked close to him to clean one of the tables. I was even more thrilled as I watched other members of my group interact with Craig’s client and reaffirm to him that he was doing an excellent job.
As our job was coming to an end, and I had to start wrapping things up, Craig seemed to regain some of his courage. Eventually, I saw him begin to wander over my way again. So I sicked the blind man on him. Yes. One of my group is a blind man. This blind man LOVES to touch people. Craig probably wouldn’t like to be touched in such a way as this blind man likes to touch. So I put him in between Craig and I, and I let his hands do my talking for me.
Craig went away.
I gathered my group into the sitting room adjacent to the kitchen, and stood there as each member of the group took turns using the bathroom before we were to leave. Craig came up behind me and almost got my elbow to his stomach for scaring the hell out of me as he asked me for my number. I was about to go off on him once and for all when one rather outspoken member of my group told him that he needs to leave me alone because she knows my husband and he wouldn’t be very happy if Craig didn’t leave me alone. She stepped right up to him to say that, too.
Craig was nervous, but was almost going to continue to ask for my number until his client interrupted us and told Craig that he better “leave the nice lady alone.” I really really like his client.
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