prevention

[stop bullying]

http://stopbullyingcanada.wordpress.com/prevention

Below are some info about bullying from: bullyingcanada.ca web-site
(for more info click – BULLYING IN CANADA). Many children have a good
idea of what bullying is because they see it every day! Bullying
happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the
person being bullied has a hard time defending themselves. So,
everyone needs to get involved to help stop it.

Bullying is wrong! – It is behaviour that makes the person being
bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable. There are many ways that young
people bully each other, even if they don’t realize it at the time.
Some of these include:punching, shoving and other acts that hurt
people physically, spreading bad rumours about people, keeping certain
people out of a group, teasing people in a mean way, getting certain
people to “gang up” on others.

Four Most Common Type of Bullying

Verbal Bullying – name-calling, sarcasm, teasing, spreading rumours,
threatening, making negative references to one’s culture, ethnicity,
race, religion, gender, or sexual orientations, unwanted sexual
comments.

Social Bullying – mobbing, scapegoating, excluding others from a
group, humiliating others with public gestures or graffiti intended to
put others down.

Physical Bullying – hitting, poking, pinching, chasing, shoving,
coercing, destroying or stealing belongings, unwanted sexual touching.

Cyber Bullying – using the internet or text messaging to intimidate,
put-down, spread rumours or make fun of someone.

What are the effects of bullying? – Bullying makes people upset. It
can make children feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It can make
them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them.
Children can lose confidence and may not want to go to school anymore.
It may even make them sick.

Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for
young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can
have long-term physical and psychological consequences. Some of these
include:

Withdrawal from family and school activities, wanting to be left
alone.
Shyness
Stomachaches
Headaches
Panic Attacks
Not being able to sleep
Sleeping too much
Being exhausted
Nightmares

If bullying isn’t stopped, it also hurts the bystanders, as well as
the person who bullies others. Bystanders are afraid they could be the
next victim. Even if they feel badly for the person being bullied,
they avoid getting involved in order to protect themselves or because
they aren’t sure what to do. Children who learn they can get away with
violence and aggression continue to do so in adulthood. They have a
higher chance of getting involved in dating aggression, sexual
harassment and criminal behaviour later in life.

Bullying can have an effect on learning – Stress and anxiety caused by
bullying and harassment can make it more difficult for kids to learn.
It can cause difficulty in concentration and decrease their ability to
focus, which affects their ability to remember things they have
learned.

Bullying can lead to more serious concerns – Bullying is painful and
humiliating, and kids who are bullied feel embarrassed, battered and
shamed. If the pain is not relieved, bullying can even lead to
consideration of suicide or violent behaviour.

How common is bullying? – Approximately one in 10 children have
bullied others and as many as 25% of children in grades four to six
have been bullied. A 2004 study published in the medical Journal of
Pediatrics found that about one in seven Canadian children aged 11 to
16 are victims of bullying. Studies have found bullying occurs once
every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the
classroom.

In the majority of cases, bullying stops within 10 seconds when peers
intervene, or do not support the bullying behaviour. Students are most
vulnerable to bullying during transitions from elementary to junior
high school, and from junior to senior high school. There is a
correlation between increased supervision and decreased bullying.
Bullies stop when adults are around.

How To Fight Back Bullying

Always think positive – it is “not your fault” that you are being
bullied.
Always think that you don’t have to face the bullying alone.
Tell someone about the bullying and be assertive.
Tell yourself not to be reactive – “walk away” if you can.
Do not fight the bullying with the same, remember that you don’t want
to be like them.
Do not laugh or be a silent witness to bullying, If you witness a
bullying report it immediately.
Do not blame the bully or the victim, gather as much information and
report it to the authority.
Do not dwell on the past, instead think of what you can do to stop the
bullying.
Do not fight bullying by means of forgetting the problems with alcohol
or drugs.
Do not embark into violent or aggressive behaviors to fight back.
Remember that bullying is mostly mind games that is always plays with
one’s fear.
Remember that the bully might exagerate, create stories, manipulate
events to threaten or induce fear.

Remember that bullying is a crime and you don’t want to be a criminal.
Know the warning signs of being the victim or the bully.
Know the cause of bullying, lack of empathy was one common reason.
Teach your family or loveones about bullying and educate them about
the consequence of this behavior.

Calmness, common sense and physical activity are effective strategy in
fighting bullying.
Increase awareness of your sorrounding and make a note of events and
what is your feeling
For more information about bullying visit the following web-sites:
Bullying.org; Cyberbullying.ca; Bullybeware.com; BullyingCanada.ca;
BullyPolice.org; SafeCanada.ca; kidshelpphone.ca


Workplace bullies: Prevention – Workplace bullies create a tremendous
liability for the employer by causing stress-related health and safety
problems, and driving good employees out of the organization.

The business case for strict anti-bullying policies is compelling.
Potential benefits include a more peaceful and productive workplace,
with better decision making, less time lost to sick leave or self-
defensive paperwork, higher staff retention, and a lower risk of legal
action.

Identify bullying in your staff handbook as unacceptable behavior.
Establish proper systems for investigating, recording and dealing with
conflict. Investigate complaints quickly, while maintaining discretion
and confidentiality and protecting the rights of all individuals
involved. It is important to understand fully any incidence of
bullying and take the problem seriously at all levels.

Organizations who manage people well outperform those who don’t by 30
to 40 per cent. Development of strong interpersonal skills at all
levels is fundamental to good management and a healthy workplace.

There is no place for bullies in a well-run organization.

Source: Canada Safety Council

Prof. Kenneth Westhues (sociology, University of Waterloo): “mobbing”
as, “an impassioned, collective campaign by co-workers to exclude,
punish, and humiliate a targeted worker.” The term has gained
international recognition, in Europe the term “mobbing” has become a
common phrase and France has even passed anti-mobbing laws. Despite
anti-mobbing/anti-bullying policies, Westhues’ research shows that the
phenomenom is still alive in academia today. A group of European
academics host a mobbing blog for academics to discuss the issue as
well as serve as a forum for academics who have personally experienced
mobbing (Workplace Bullying in the Academic World?).

PARENTS – If your child is being victimized by a bully, the following
suggestions may be useful when addressing the problem:

Ask the child directly. Often children do not wish to tell their
parents due to shame and embarrassment, or fear that the bullies will
retaliate if they tell. Look for signs such as: fear of going to
school, lack of friends, missing belongings and torn clothing, as well
as increased fearfulness and anxiety.

Work with the school immediately to make sure your child is safe, that
effective consequences are implemented, and that monitoring at school
is adequate. Advocate for involvement of the bully’s parents. If the
bullying is happening on the way to and from school, arrange for the
child to get to school with older, supportive children, or take him or
her until other interventions can take place.

If your child is timid, and lacks friends, try to arrange for your
child to participate in positive social groups which meet his or her
interests. Developing your child’s special skills and confidence in
the context of a positive social group can be very helpful.

Suggest that the school implement a comprehensive anti-bullying
program. A home and school association meeting to discuss and support
such an initiative can be helpful.

The main goal in helping your child to deal with bullying is to help
him or her regain a sense of dignity and recover their damaged self-
esteem. Holding your anger, never getting physical or bullying back,
acting brave, walking away, ignoring the bully, using humour, talking
about it, using the buddy system and developing more friendships by
joining social organizations, clubs, or sports programs all help ward
off bullies.

If your child is being aggressive or bullying others, the situation
needs to be taken seriously, not only for the children who are being
bullied, but for your child as well. Children and youth who bully
others often get into serious trouble later in life, some obtaining
criminal records, as well as having continuing trouble in
relationships with others. Here are some things that you can do to
turn the situation around.

Talk to your child, talk to his or her teachers and administrators.
Keep in mind that a bully will try to deny or minimize his or her
wrongdoing.

Make it clear to your child that you will not tolerate this kind of
behaviour, and discuss with your child the negative impact bullying
has on the victims. Do not accept explanations that “it was all in
fun.”

Arrange for an effective, non-violent consequence, which is
proportional to the severity of your child’s actions, and his or her
age and stage of development. Corporal punishment carries the message
that “might is right.”

Increase your supervision of your child’s activities and whereabouts,
and whom they are associating with. Spend time with your child, and
set reasonable rules for their activities and curfews.

Co-operate with the school in modifying your child’s aggressive
behaviour. Frequent communication with teachers and/or administrators
is important to find out how your child is doing in changing his or
her behaviour.

Praise the efforts your child makes toward non-violent and responsible
behaviour, as well as for following home and school rules. Keep
praising any efforts the child makes.

If your child is viewing violent television shows, including cartoons,
and is playing violent video games, this will increase violent and
aggressive behaviour. Change family and child’s viewing and play
patterns to non-violent ones.

Make sure that your child is not seeing violence between members of
his or her family. Modelling of aggressive behaviour at home can lead
to violence by the child against others at school and in later life.

Seek help from a school psychologist, social worker, or children’s
mental health centre in the community if you would like support in
working with your child.
Source: Victims of Violence

There is less tolerance for bullying in schools now, but many parents
still don’t know how to protect their kids against it. Here are five
ways to help them cope…

Try role-playing – For kids of any age, particularly little ones, the
easiest way to teach them how to deal with a bully is to role-play.
Show them how to stand up, tell another child that they don’t like
being hit or teased, and then walk away. If they learn early that the
best way to handle a bully is to show strength and walk away, they’re
much better equipped to deal with problems when they get to ‘big
school’.

Lead by example – Being a good role model doesn’t just mean you should
never bully anyone yourself. It’s also important to model confident
behaviour. If your kids hear you complaining that you’re not good at
anything or you’re not able to stand up to a difficult person at work,
they will be listening and learning.

Set realistic goals – Confident kids are less likely to be bullied.
The best way to instil confidence in them is to help them to be
realistic. Whether they’re upset their drawing isn’t perfect or
they’re not the best swimmer, help them to understand they’re
expecting too much. Encourage them to enjoy learning, rather than
aiming for perfection. Perfectionism should be stamped out as soon as
you notice it.

Resolve conflict – If you always step in when the kids are fighting
with each other, they never learn how to resolve things. If you hear
or see your kids squabbling, leave them be for a while to see if they
can sort it out themselves. If you do step in, encourage them to use
their words and tell their sibling what the problem is or what they
want.

Teach about empathy – When you teach your kids to have empathy for
others, they begin to understand that another child’s behaviour may be
due to a lack of confidence or a difficult home life. When they have
empathy for others, they are less inclined to take things so
personally and their confidence can remain high. And an empathic child
is less likely to become a bully themselves. Source: 5 ways to
bulletproof your kids against bullying Written by Clinical
psychologist Jo Lamble

Bully Proof: A To-Do List Here is a list of do’s that really worked
for my family when we were dealing with bullying.

Maintain a positive home environment. It’s important that bullying
doesn’t become the family’s only focus. Children need to know that
there is joy and hope in life. When our kids come home, we have a
routine of shaking off the problems of the day, at least for a while.
Something as simple as a fun snack or activity can help a kid leave
their worries behind and understand that the larger portion of their
day is good. I’ve created a pie chart art project, which helps put it
all in perspective. Go here for more details.

Encourage them to confide in you. It’s really difficult to maintain
objectivity when a child tells you they’ve been mistreated. But it’s
important to react well. The first thing I do is calmly repeat back to
them what I’m hearing. If they say, “He hates me, and he’s so mean!” I
say, “OK, he isn’t treating you well. It really hurts your feelings,
and it’s not fair.”

Teach them the difference between bullying and someone simply being
rude or thoughtless. Let’s face it. Kids are not always so nice.
Adults aren’t always so great either, but there’s a difference between
someone carelessly hurting your feelings, and being the target of
bullying.
Arrange for extracurricular activities that involve kids with common
interests. Make sure to encourage play dates and sign up for classes
with kids from their school, as well as kids in neighboring towns.
It’s important that they see many opportunities to build friendships.

Give them a strong life focus. We spend endless hours imagining the
future at my house. Without a destination in mind, it’s impossible to
make a plan to get there. I do an exercise in my workshops called My
Most Incredible Dream Life that helps kids realize that today is
temporary and it will get better.

Help them create a happy bubble. By helping my kids choose to be
happy, it made them feel empowered. I do an exercise called the Happy
Bubble that teaches children to create a circle with their arms and
fill it with memories where they felt confident. I remind them that
nothing can pop the bubble because it’s filled with memories and
nobody can take those away. Source: There’s No Such Thing as a Bully
Written by Taryn Grimes-Herbert, Yorktown.patch.com, March 5, 2011

Educators: Ridley College Lower School students know just what to do
in order to combat bullying thanks to a new initiative at the school.
Today, students participated in “The Power of One”, a presentation
about how bullying happens and how we can stop it? Students learned
that bullying is hurtful, purposeful and repeated behaviour and that
even if they are a bystander they are guilty of letting bullying
happen. Five brave volunteers were brought up on stage to act out a
bullying scenario, watch what happens… The Power of One Anti-Bullying
Presentation at Ridley College

Educators can’t shirk their responsibility for addressing the problem
of bullying. By seeing bullying as an issue rooted in community
values, ethics, and moral courage, they can do two things:

First, help students understand that, as a community, their school
needs to operate by humanity’s shared ethical values — fairness,
respect, compassion, honesty, and responsibility — and that bullying
violates all of them. Bottom line: There are no ethical bullies, and
ethical communities can have no tolerance for bullying.

Second, teach students about moral courage — the willing endurance of
significant danger for the sake of principle. Help them understand
that in the triangular relationship of bully, victim, and onlooker,
the bully has only the fake courage of bravado. Real courage resides
in the victims who, like Bertie, rise to victory despite the bullying
— and in those onlookers who, feeling their own values violated by the
disrespect and irresponsibility of the bully, find courageous ways to
intervene, speak up, or bear witness in ways that crimp or stop the
behavior. Source: Bullying and Courage: Why The King’s Speech Speaks
to Us Today Written by Rushworth M. Kidder